Why is offering lots of unhealthy, processed foods considered a "loving" gesture? - Page 3

[gozal]

I hear you! I am not super strict, especially outside of my own kitchen, and I think it's important to be kind and gracious to friends and family, that a once-in-a-blue-moon processed disaster won't kill my kid. However, it is shocking to me how easily even small kids can get railroaded into eating complete garbage. It is everywhere in a way I don't remember growing up, and it's widely considered normal and safe. I've found that I have to be a little crazy or else this will harm my child. Food is something we habituate to, and it can be addictive. DS prefers water to juice and considers strawberries candy because I'm vigilant (and because that's what I drink and eat), not because he's some kind of miniature food saint!

Question, mamas: Do you have a handy, non-preachy way to explain the difference between fake/highly processed ingredients (HFCS, food dye, bleached flour, etc.) and nonhealthy whole ingredients? For example, we have a relative who loves buying DS these particular cookies. She thinks this is a fine treat because they are relatively low in calories, grams of sugar, etc., all that nutritionist nonsense. Of course, the cookies are primarily bleached flour and hfcs and preservatives. I have tried to explain that I don't mind him having a cookie made with stuff like unrefined sugar, stone-ground whole wheat flour, and dark chocolate. It's not exactly healthy, to be sure, but it's not a bunch of lab chemicals. I'm all for treats. I like them myself and can't imagine life without them! The situation with this relative is not a big deal in itself, because we don't see this relative all that often. But in general, she has no idea what I'm talking about. It does seem like a lot of those who offer DS these processed foods don't get the distinction between "unhealthy" and "toxic" - i.e., unrefined sweeteners are unhealthy; refined sugar is a neurotoxin. They think, hey, a cookie is a cookie, it's not good for you, what difference does it make if it has HFCS or some other sweetener in it? So they see me allowing him a homemade granola bar and don't understand why I don't want him to have the conventional box kind with white sugar and candy in it, think I'm a food snob and control freak, and write me off. And think they are being kind to the deprived kid with the health freak mom by sneaking him a bright blue ice pop. The kid has ice pops! But they are made with yogurt and fresh fruit! Ideas? Or do you not even try to explain?

[nursing2mom]

As a 41 yr old mom of 2 public-schooled kids (will be 3rd and 5th grades,) we have really had the battles. We started out very strict, particularly after discovering a candida imbalance when both girls were very young. It was easier to control what they ate--even at the grandparents, etc--when they were with me constantly and they weren't influenced too much by peers. Now that they are in school, it's a whole different ballgame. I've learned:

1)FAKE IS YUMMY: The first 5 years helps set the tone for taste buds (not to mention the development of the blood-brain barrier, etc.) BUT it doesn't necessarily mean they won't instantly go to the fake taste side once introduced. My kids will definitely eat a much broader variety of foods than their peers, but they still want processed, dyed foods when offered. They react quicker to them, though. 

2)GRASS IS GREENER: Hits about 2nd grade. They don't want to be different usually. This works both ways, though. My kids, who eat non-gmo, organic, low-sugar, etc., complain that we don't buy Doritos brand like Susie next door. Or have Coke. Or... BUT then I learned from Susie's mom that Susie was complaining that her family didn't eat healthy enough and why couldn't they eat like our family. Lesson--You will not please your kids all the time (or even a little sometimes!) so do what you feel is right for your family and quit caving. :)

3)DON'T WAFFLE: If I am waffling in my brain about a decision (food, activity, discipline) my kids POUNCE on that and can really try to convince me to change my decision. But if I am clear in my mind about a decision, there is very little--or no--whining and complaining. Works for relatives, too. If Grandma wanted to let my 8 yr old play on the main (busy) road, there would be no question in my mind that would not be safe. No discussion needed. But if Grandma wanted to give her a sugar-free chemically-dyed yogurt, I might rationalize that at least it's yogurt and not a doughnut, etc. It might feed on my emotions about my relationship with my own grandma and how I loved the junk foods at her house, etc. Waffle, waffle, waffle...We might gently go round and round about how yogurt isn't healthy, etc. Some things just aren't clear, but when they are, it's SO much easier!

Does that make sense? 

[sosurreal09]

I have tried to explain some things to people and all I ever get is " the FDA wouldn't allow that" or "the government wouldn't allow that" and they think I am a nut job...

Originally Posted by gozal 

I hear you! I am not super strict, especially outside of my own kitchen, and I think it's important to be kind and gracious to friends and family, that a once-in-a-blue-moon processed disaster won't kill my kid. However, it is shocking to me how easily even small kids can get railroaded into eating complete garbage. It is everywhere in a way I don't remember growing up, and it's widely considered normal and safe. I've found that I have to be a little crazy or else this will harm my child. Food is something we habituate to, and it can be addictive. DS prefers water to juice and considers strawberries candy because I'm vigilant (and because that's what I drink and eat), not because he's some kind of miniature food saint!

Question, mamas: Do you have a handy, non-preachy way to explain the difference between fake/highly processed ingredients (HFCS, food dye, bleached flour, etc.) and nonhealthy whole ingredients? For example, we have a relative who loves buying DS these particular cookies. She thinks this is a fine treat because they are relatively low in calories, grams of sugar, etc., all that nutritionist nonsense. Of course, the cookies are primarily bleached flour and hfcs and preservatives. I have tried to explain that I don't mind him having a cookie made with stuff like unrefined sugar, stone-ground whole wheat flour, and dark chocolate. It's not exactly healthy, to be sure, but it's not a bunch of lab chemicals. I'm all for treats. I like them myself and can't imagine life without them! The situation with this relative is not a big deal in itself, because we don't see this relative all that often. But in general, she has no idea what I'm talking about. It does seem like a lot of those who offer DS these processed foods don't get the distinction between "unhealthy" and "toxic" - i.e., unrefined sweeteners are unhealthy; refined sugar is a neurotoxin. They think, hey, a cookie is a cookie, it's not good for you, what difference does it make if it has HFCS or some other sweetener in it? So they see me allowing him a homemade granola bar and don't understand why I don't want him to have the conventional box kind with white sugar and candy in it, think I'm a food snob and control freak, and write me off. And think they are being kind to the deprived kid with the health freak mom by sneaking him a bright blue ice pop. The kid has ice pops! But they are made with yogurt and fresh fruit! Ideas? Or do you not even try to explain?

[bonamarq]

1love4ever - I do buy the annie fruit snacks - they are the only ones I'll give her and ONLY in her packed school lunches - yes they are high in sugar but at least they have 100% vit c (and this is her 'treat')

This is how bad it is here in WV - my friend (from MA) was at her son's LL game and said the other team was HUGE (fat) and she nearly died when a rather large child - on a hot day in the middle of the game- was being given CHEESE STIX DIPPED IN MAYONAISE for a snack! Like the kid couldn't go through a whole game without eating and that's what he gets? - I try not to judge - maybe they were running late and he hadn't eaten in while, what do I know? But REALLY - an overweight kid needs his CHEESE dipped in MAYO?????

Did you all see that recent article by some harvard peds that suggest that in some cases childhood obesity should be referred to CPS? I don't think that will EVER fly and we can't even get kids who are beaten into foster care so I don't think this will happen - but IMO it takes EFFORT to make a child under three OBESE as they are naturally inclined to be so active-and you can usually tell the difference from the "baby fat" and the kid who is obese b/c he drinks unlimited soda and an endless diet of fast food - .... - we call Mountain Dew "Appalachian crack" around here - and people drink it CONSTANTLY...it is just so very sad and I KNOW it's very much a poverty issue but it's more complicated than that...

[Comtessa]

Originally Posted by gozal 

<<snip>>

we have a relative who loves buying DS these particular cookies. She thinks this is a fine treat because they are relatively low in calories, grams of sugar, etc., all that nutritionist nonsense. Of course, the cookies are primarily bleached flour and hfcs and preservatives. I have tried to explain that I don't mind him having a cookie made with stuff like unrefined sugar, stone-ground whole wheat flour, and dark chocolate. It's not exactly healthy, to be sure, but it's not a bunch of lab chemicals.

<<snip>>

Boy oh boy, mama, if you can find a good way to handle this situation, let me in on your secret! 

Our relatives and friends adore giving my 2 yo DD treats, and I'm very flexible about them.  I figure, if *I* have a sweet tooth and love to eat that stuff, it's hypocritical of me to refuse it to DD altogether.  I do limit them at home -- both for my own health and DD's -- but out and about I let her have moderate amounts of most 'treats.'  Real fats, real sugars, etc. 

The trouble is my MIL.  She's a retired pediatrician and convinced that she has the last word on healthy eating.  She stocks her pantry and fridge with things like non-fat sugar-free fake-fiber-added yogurt, because that's "healthy."  She told DH that HFCS is better for us than sugar (a piece of 'medical advice' he is now repeating ad nauseum).  Yesterday she gave DD sugar-free chocolate soymilk because 'juice is bad for kids.'  I mean, yikes, juice is totally not healthy in any large amount, but at least it's natural.  It's just a weird, highly market-driven, technology-crazed way of thinking about nutrition.  And there's no arguing with the 'expert', KWIM?

She's very good about having loads of fresh fruit & veggies around, so that's good, but she's also heavily into fake sugars, fake fats, and fad 'health' foods (think packaged granola bars).  Worst of all, she's very focused on obesity -- obsessed, really.  So she eats almost nothing herself (I'd be surprised if she weighs 100 lbs. soaking wet, and she keeps shrinking), and when she cares for DD she feeds her the way she herself eats.  No fats at all, almost no carbs, no snacks between meals.  The poor kid comes home starving.  So in some ways, it's the opposite problem from many posters on this thread -- she's trying to keep DD 'healthy' and I'm just like, "please give the baby some fat!"

[RayN]

What really gets me about people is that little kids, like between 1 and 3 WANT the healthy stuff. I'm not a parent yet, and have only recently discovered how bad some food is, but I have a couple friends and cousins with little ones between 1 and 3, and it amazes me how shocked the parents are that when given Mac & Cheese, Carrots, hot dogs and corn the baby eats the carrots and corn and that's all. They get all bent out of shape that the kid didn't eat the "main" part of the meal. It seems obvious to me, give the kid more veggies, but they just give them more fast food more often till eventually the kid only wants that crap.

[sosurreal09]

Originally Posted by bonamarq 

1love4ever - I do buy the annie fruit snacks - they are the only ones I'll give her and ONLY in her packed school lunches - yes they are high in sugar but at least they have 100% vit c (and this is her 'treat')

This is how bad it is here in WV - my friend (from MA) was at her son's LL game and said the other team was HUGE (fat) and she nearly died when a rather large child - on a hot day in the middle of the game- was being given CHEESE STIX DIPPED IN MAYONAISE for a snack! Like the kid couldn't go through a whole game without eating and that's what he gets? - I try not to judge - maybe they were running late and he hadn't eaten in while, what do I know? But REALLY - an overweight kid needs his CHEESE dipped in MAYO?????

Did you all see that recent article by some harvard peds that suggest that in some cases childhood obesity should be referred to CPS? I don't think that will EVER fly and we can't even get kids who are beaten into foster care so I don't think this will happen - but IMO it takes EFFORT to make a child under three OBESE as they are naturally inclined to be so active-and you can usually tell the difference from the "baby fat" and the kid who is obese b/c he drinks unlimited soda and an endless diet of fast food - .... - we call Mountain Dew "Appalachian crack" around here - and people drink it CONSTANTLY...it is just so very sad and I KNOW it's very much a poverty issue but it's more complicated than that...

This is what gets me soda is EXPENSIVE. We don't have money, really we don't and we are lucky enough to get $200 a month in food stamps and I am telling you right now there is no way we can afford soda!

I was poor growing up and we didn't get soda either, we got tap water and milk. It baffles me when the say poor people have to eat junk. Fruits and veggies are like the same or less than junk food. Why pay $3 for a thing of oreos when you can get a bag of apples for the same price? The only thing I will say is that pasta is very cheap and makes a very cheap meal, other than that it really does cost more to eat the processed garbage. Hot dogs are like $5!

People either "can't"/don't want to take the tie to actually make a meal, that's the real issue and in so many homes both parents are working now so time is limited.

[petey44]

I just finished reading through this thread and ew, some of the stories!!  Gatorade instead of water?  Cheese stick dipped in mayo? 

I don't know anyone IRL that feeds their kids like that.  I don't even see strangers on the street feeding their kids like that.  Thank God.

DD and I are visiting my parents tonight.  My mom is stopping on the way home to pick up a treat for DD- corn on the cob.

[1love4ever]

I have the same problem when I try to explain any of these things to other people- "The FDA protects us from bad things.  It wouldnt be at the store if it was not safe"  AHHH!!  Are you kidding?  Same with vaccines- "If they were not safe the govt would not allow it".  Of course we know both of those things are BS!! 

On the subject of childhood obeisity being given to CPS- I actually know of a case where that happened, I am shocked I did not think of this before!  This is a perfect example for this thread.

So, my aunt(by marrige) has a sister who has a now 6yr old daughter.  She was weighed more than me for a few years now, and she is twice the size of all the kids in her class.  She has been obese practically since she was born.  Of course they never even considered breastfeeding her, and if she would ever cry they would shove a bottle in her mouth and would MAKE her drink it til she fell asleep or just could not anymore.  She would just sit around in front of the TV all day, hardly ever held, and even when she started to crawl and walk she was never encouraged to be active or played with, just plopped in front of the TV.  From the time she started eating food other than formula she was eating junk.  By junk I mean JUNK.  Like the WORST junk.  Twinkies, Ice cream cones, candy bars, pop, cheetos, those were her meals!  I went to a graduation party and she was there.  This was when she was 5, she looked like she was a fat 8yr old.  Anyway, while my uncle was cooking burgers, she was going back and forth to the table that had snacks set out such as trail mix, chex mix, chips, cookies, etc.  She was eating what was on the table constantly for over 1hr while people were talking, and then waiting for burgers.  She then had 3 full sized burgers with all the toppings (my dad only had 2 and he was stuffed!  And he had not eaten off the snack table ahead of time!)  After dinner she started begging her mom for a treat.  her mom handed her an ice cream bar and told her to quit bugging her!  2 minutes later she was back at her moms side begging for another, and her mom said If you leave me alone I'll give you another, so she did.  2 mintues later, same thing.  Her mom rolled her eyes and said Fine!  One more!  Thats all you get now leave me alone!

I think one of the reasons why this girl eats like she does is because instead of giving her attention, her parents have always just thrown food at her in order to get her to shut up.  They also will not play with her at all, just want her to watch TV.  They are obese too, big surprise.  Well anyway, when the little girl went to school someone at the school called CPS about her and they have talked to the parents twice about the girls weight.  The parents actually said "its just her genes, we dont know why she is so big!"  I wonder!!  But of course CPS cant really do anything about it I dont think, at least they havent yet.  Just talked to them.  This family is also extreme couponers, and of course you can get coupons for all that junk food.  They actually are pretty well off with money so I dont know why they even bother with all the coupons. 

Anyway, this is the worst person that I know of as far as junk food goes.  I very seriously doubt that she has ever had a single vegetable or piece of fruit.  So sad!

[sosurreal09]

The worst part about that is that now that girl is a food addict and will never really out grow it. My sis was always like that, huge emotional eater, my parents didn't encourage it though but instead they locked the food up...that certainly didn't help b/c once she was older she felt so "deprived" that she ate everything in sight. My sis would literally just sit down and eat a whole loaf of bread with butter! A LOAF! I couldn't believe it.

I think and believe it is vitally important to establish good and healthy eating habits from the time they start solids. Of course if every baby was fed human milk that would be a huge plus but it is just unrealistic today..Regardless I don't think babies or toddlers have any business eating junk food! I HATE those stupid Gerber freeze dried and "whole grain" and w/e the heck else they have "toddler snacks" I see everyone giving them to their toddlers. They may not be "that bad" but they are still replacing real food and where you could be giving the kid fresh fruits and veggies for a snack you are giving them that stuff instead, it's just setting them up for failure in the future.

While reading your story I just remembered I went to a BBQ for the 4th and there was a 15 m/o playing with my DD and his dad walked over and gave him a can of coke and the baby was chugging it down (with dad's help of course). I couldn't believe it I walked away immediately b/c I was infuriated!

[Veronika01]

1love4ever, your story reminds me so much of my cousin's story. She had a little girl first and about 5 years later, a baby boy. Her daughter was wearing an adult size 38 (something like a size 16) dress at age 8. They bragged about feeding her KFC for dinner and spanking her when she didn't finish her meal. Her meal consisted of 3-4 pieces of chicken, a bread roll and a X-Large mash and gravy. I couldn't even eat that much in one sitting and I am overweight. Her little boy was only 3 months older than mine, but they started him on solids at just 3 weeks old. He was off the charts before he was 6 months old. They also bragged about adding sugar to his formula! They often sent messages through my mother and told her that it was time I started feeding my son solids, because their baby outweighed my son a couple of times over and that proved he was "healthier". By just 3 months old, he was eating 3 meals a day, including one meal of potatoes, rice and squash smothered in sugar. By the time he was 3, he was the size of a 5 year old. I haven't heard from them in years and can only imagine what it must be like now, 4 years later. They also bragged about the father, who was very very large, eating a 2lb tin of chocolates in one sitting. So, so sad. Even though I'm overweight and I struggle with eating healthy, I want so much more for my children. I can't imagine wanting my children to follow in my footsteps.. or simply not caring.

[1love4ever]

O my that is the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard PP!  I am not sure when this little girl started solids but it was certainly before 6 months, or even 4.  The weight charts are there for a reason, so you can tell if your child is overweight!!  Which that one most certainly is!  And not that I believe most things that modern medicine has to say, but I do believe that solids should not be started until around 6 months.

One thing I have noticed with all of my friends (except those who believe the same things I do) is that whenever I talk about my beliefs, whether it is when they offer DD a sucker and I say no, or they make rude comments about how "big and bulky" her cloth diapers are(they are actually pretty slim), they always have to try to talk me out of believing whatever it is that I believe is best.  I believe that this is because they are not confidant in their parenting choices.  For example, when I told my friend I was not vaccinating, she went into a huge argument about how we all had them as kids and we are fine(we had WAY less when we were kids actually, and no we are not all fine!!) and the govt would allow them if they were not safe, and doctors wouldnt recommend them if they didnt work....  And then she would call me every time her kid would go in to the Dr to get his shots just to tell me that he was going to get them today and she would save the papers that they gave her that told information about the shots (including all the risks!), and give them to me.  And with my cloth diapers, she is constantly making comments and asking if I'm sick of them yet, and how much easier it is to just use sposies.  And with food, she says "oh its not going to kill them" and "the govt wouldnt allow it if it wasnt safe!" and that all grains are the same, Eggo waffles are made of grain just like baby cereal is...   She would nag at me about breastfeeding past 6 months old, and especially past 1 year old.  Why does she try to talk me out doing things that I have explained to her my reasoning on and all the research that I have found?  Obviously from all that  I have told her she knows I am making better choices than her.  Maybe she feels that if I was doing all the same things as she, that she wouldnt feel threatened by thinking she is not as good of a mom?  I do not know.  She certainly is not the only one who acts like that, and I do feel that it is because these women know inside that you are making better choices for your kids than they are for theirs, and that threatens them because they feel like they are not as good of a parent as you or something like that.   

[girlspn]

I just finished reading this thread and I can't believe that people let their kids eat that much junk. How horrible.. I feel really bad for their kids :( Kudos to the mamas here who make effort to instill healthy eating habits in their kids! Even though they may complain now, they'll be thankful later (hopefully). 

My mom was really strict with me when I was young, no soda or candy, even cake and ice cream were rare. In my teens when I had more control over my diet, I ate a lot of junk almost as if making up for what I was 'deprived' of. But when I was in my 20s and wanted to be healthier, I was able to stop easily, not having much of a sweet tooth, I didn't crave sugar. My mom had given up with my younger sisters, and they grew up eating whatever they liked, and now prefer processed foods over homecooked meals. I used to resent my mom's discipline but 15 years later I appreciate it.

I think it's great how you are all handling your kids' diets! :)

[gozal]

Yep, many people believe if it's on the shelf at the store, it's been safety-tested and is non-toxic, not only for food items but also household goods (fire-retardant pajamas, cookware, plastic dishes, etc.) and medical care. Drives me crazy! The stories told here have been heartbreaking to read. I also grew up without a lot to spare (my parents were students when I was born, and my mom stayed at home with us) but we always ate great food. Just everything from scratch, lots of vegetables, and inexpensive cuts of meat. It has been a great education. I am so grateful to my mom! I just wanted to say, though, that many of the problems causing obesity are systemic, in my opinion. It's not that an individual person can't overcome the challenges, because of course that's true. However, the deck is severely stacked against many people. If only certain foodlike substances were sold with the kind of warning labels they put on cigarettes...

[berry987]

A perfect example of advertising that encourages processed junk=love. There's a popup ad on MDC for Cocoa Pebbles that has the mom from the Flintstones holding a box and a tag line about "cool moms" and "treat em right" (I didn't get to read the whole thing before it switched). Ugh, seriously? Cocoa Pebbles? 

My SIL and BIL feed their kids total junk (and my SIL is a pediatrician!). They claim they read labels, but they obviously don't know what to look for...they focus on vitamins and minerals instead of chemicals and additives and sugar. So strawberry milk with HFCS is good for their kids because it's fortified with all sorts of vitamins  The same goes for Lucky Charms and Toaster Strudel! They are also big believers in the eggs=high cholesterol myth so they think it's horrifying that we feed our kids eggs every morning. Ugh...but they are so set in their ways and unwilling to hear other opinions that we can't even discuss it. 

[mumkimum]

I've been thinking about one of the pp's questions (about what kind of explanations are accepted well by others for sticking to limiting processed foods).  

I have done well in the past with people accepting that we need to limit sweet junky food because of having to watch out for dd1's teeth.  "Oh no can't have another one - we really need to watch how much sugar she gets b/c of her teeth" or "Gee, that's too sticky.  We'll have apple slices instead.  We have to be really careful b/c of issues with cavities".  

[MrsBone]

same story here! until the age of 14 when I went to public school I ate really really healthy. I made up for it in highschool...funyuns and cherry coke almost daily! lol. I got married at 21 and wanted to be healthier and I've improved my eating ALOT since highschool, and it wasn't hard. once I educated myself again about eating healthy it became important to me. So yes, work hard on instilling good eating habits. They may not stick, but at least you've done all you can to help your child eat the best way possible. :)

Originally Posted by azhie 

I just finished reading this thread and I can't believe that people let their kids eat that much junk. How horrible.. I feel really bad for their kids :( Kudos to the mamas here who make effort to instill healthy eating habits in their kids! Even though they may complain now, they'll be thankful later (hopefully). 

My mom was really strict with me when I was young, no soda or candy, even cake and ice cream were rare. In my teens when I had more control over my diet, I ate a lot of junk almost as if making up for what I was 'deprived' of. But when I was in my 20s and wanted to be healthier, I was able to stop easily, not having much of a sweet tooth, I didn't crave sugar. My mom had given up with my younger sisters, and they grew up eating whatever they liked, and now prefer processed foods over homecooked meals. I used to resent my mom's discipline but 15 years later I appreciate it.

I think it's great how you are all handling your kids' diets! :)

[mommy212]

it is weird to me how poor people can afford soda and junk food too. We were very broke when I was a kid, and we ate a good amount of pre-packaged food (think rice-a-roni and hamburger helper) but junk was a huge treat at our house because it was such a waste of money- my mom was no health nut, but she still wanted us to have a meat and starch or 2 veggies at dinner every night and eggs for breakfast more than she wanted soda and candy, and that's where the food money went. It's mostly the same philosophy I have now, only tweaked a little- like I buy really nice meat from a small butcher shop and we eat a lot less of it, and I make a ton of stuff from scratch because it's cheaper.

As for what we tell people, I usually say "Oh, well we're just health nuts, you know?" And around here that usually flies, because the army is a fitness community, and even if not everyone follows it everyone has heard/knows about healthy foods. With my family, I just say we are trying to do what's best for our kids just like they did, only we have different information, just like they fed us different from their parents fed them.

[1love4ever]

One thing I have thought about saying to people when they want to give my kid junk is "No, she is allergic to (preservatives, colorings, corn, whatever it is)" lol.  I havent yet, I almost did today when DD was whining in the store and a the lady in the bakery asked if she wanted a chocolate chip cookie...  Thankfully DD does not know what a chocolate chip cookie is so it didnt cause her to have a fit.  I just told the lady no thank you and she acted all offended and said "Um, ok MOM"    Whatever, quite offering my kid junk and you would have no reason to be offended lol.

That is a good idea about wanting to prevent cavities!

Anyway, as a child my parents gave me lots and lots of ice cream and candy and junk.  My mom tried to control it a little bit because she wouldnt let us have sweets before a meal, but afterwards we could.  And she would limit us to 1 ice cream cone a night, but if there were other treats we could have those too.  Or we would have a huge bowl of ice cream drenched in chocolate syrup.  And summer time we would have a million of those freezer ice pop things that are in the long rectangular tube that are super sweet with all the food colorings.  Not trying to say she was a bad mom, I think she was just really uneducated and wanted to make us happy and of course we loved treats so she just gave in for the most part.  I remember expecting a treat all the time, such as after church if we behaved she would tell us we could get a treat (we had church 3 times a week!) so we would expect treats after we behaved at any kind of function.  We would expect treats after dinner every night.  I do not want my kids to expect junk after Everything like I did, and as I got older it got worse and I struggle today even with cravings for ice cream and other junk which was always in the house and we had it every day growing up.

That is sad that there are those ads on mothering.com.  I am looking at one for cocoa pebbles treats right now:(  Lets hope that the majority of us are smarter than that.

I think it is very interesting that 2 of you have said that you have relatives who are pediatricians and both of them feed their kids/grandkids junk!  They are completely misinformed and do not know what they are doing.  That is very sad and just goes to show you one of the many ways in which our healthcare system is messed up.  I read an article awhile back by Dr Weil about how we need a healthcare system that is more food based, and focused on prevention of disease by making our lives healthier by eating right and exercising and such.  When you go to a Dr now, they do not even ask about your diet usually!!  It is outrageous.  Even OBs when you are pregnant (where I live anyway) do not even mention diet, and it is so crucial to a babys development!   Same with my neighbors little boy- he has been to the doctor several times a month since he was only a few months old(she started him on solids at 2 months!) for all sorts of stuff from constipation to ear infections to the flu, cold, broncitis, broken arm(obviously he does not drink raw milk or eat raw cheese!), terrible teether, unexplained fever, unexplained crying, and of course vaccinations.  And I have asked her a million times if the Drs ever asked about his diet, and she said NO, they dont even mention food or ask about food at all.  WOW, seriously, for a kid who has seen you at least 40 times, you do not ask one of the most obvious questions?  UGH!

[1love4ever]

Just thought of a story from when I was a nursing student that I thought I'd share!

As a nursing student, you are around doctors and other nurses a lot.  One day I was assigned to the clinic, and the Dr I was working with that day was covering the walk ins.  A mom brought her 5yr old son in because he had the flu and was not getting any better after several days.  The nurse went in, checked vitals, asked questions, etc and then gave us his chart and we reviewed it before going to see them.  We saw from the chart he was a very obese 5yr old who already had high blood pressure!  Anyway, so we went in(he looked about the size of an 8yr old), examined him, found he was very dehydrated(he said "I dont like water so I dont drink it, I will only drink gatorade and pop" and his mom said yes I cant get him to drink water) and he had been throwing up at home off and on and had a fever, if he would have drank water he would have been ok, but the gatorade made him throw up so he wasnt drinking anything.  We started him on an IV drip to rehydrate him, and after we left the Dr looked at me and said "O my, some kids and their parents.  That poor kid is so overweight".  And I said "Do you ever counsel them on nutrition or good eating habits?"  And he said "No, not usually.  Sometimes if they keep coming in over and over we will mention it, but thats about all.  Patients dont want to hear that stuff, they just want medicine, and we have to keep patients happy or they will throw a fit to the hospital and the doctors get in trouble for not keeping patients happy."  He also wrote a woman with a cough and runny nose a prescription for an antibiotic, and afterwards I asked him why he did that because it was probably a viral infection and antibiotics will do no good.  Once again he said it is to keep patients happy and because they will be mad at the hospital if they dont get drugs.  He said 99% of the patients who come there expect to get drugs, and then expect to get better, if you dont play the game, they get mad, call the hospital, you get in trouble because you made a patient mad.

This is just one example of how our medical system works!