For my first baby I planned to have a natural birth in a hospital with a midwife group. Won't go into details, but I ended up being pressured into a lot of interventions, and the birth was traumatic (DD was fine, brilliant and beautiful in fact, but mom was not for quite a while). For our second baby, DH and I have decided on a home birth. DH, btw, is an ER physician who believes that home birth is a healthy and safe option for low-risk births (he is a little hung up on transfer time, but lucky for us there's a hospital right down the street).
So, my MIL is a retired OB nurse from a VERY traditional practice (section rate through the roof). She has talked in a derogatory manner about home birth before, and I know she will freak out when we tell her that's our plan. I don't want to be patronizing toward her, or make her feel that I'm belittling her OB knowledge. But I do want to assure her that we've carefully thought through the 'what ifs' (in a very exacting manner, I must add, due to DH's awareness of EVERY freakin' crash section scenario), and feel confident that we will be giving birth in a safe, healthy, loving environment. I also want to gently communicate that it's not a decision that is up for debate.
Sometimes I have a hard time communicating in a respectful, diplomatic way about something like this that I am passionate about. But I understand that this will be hard for her, and I don't want to be unnecessarily insulting or dismissive of her fears. I also have seen on other boards the 'just don't tell her!' advice - but I don't want to be secretive or dishonest about something that means this much to me. So, if you've got a knack for navigating difficult conversations - HELP ME!!