Help, I could use some encouragement, starting to lose some confidence :(

[claudi81]

Well, I went to my daughters check up at 3 months and the doctor as always tries to talk to me about vaccines...yes annoying, but other than that he is a nice caring doc.

I had my oldest DD vaccinated as I did not know any better...but she has some sort of behavioral problem, suspecting autism spectrum disorder...I feel confident that all the may have added to that :(

After I have done my homework, my DS 19 Months and my youngest DD 3 Months are  not vaxed and I felt good about my deccision...They are all at home with me and I make sure they are healthy. Anyways, I am now going to the gym (needed due to some knee and back issues) and they are in the care there...no longer than 1 hr though. Anyways..my Dr, highly recommended to get the Hib and PCVB at least as they are very dangerous and deadly......deadly...and again deadly as he stated. Now I am still holding my ground on pretty much all the others, but he did get me a bit shaky on those now as well as the Pertussis as they have more and more cases around here now...What can you advice or tell me here as I am starting to get more scared of them catching those.

Thank you all :)

[Marnica]

Sorry you are feeling unsure mama.

I know the feeling and it isn't fun. All I can tell you is this. You can't not vaccinate your children and expect them never to get sick. There is always a chance that they will get a VPD, (vaccinated kids get VPD's too - particularly pertussis) but you have to ask yourself what the likleihood is.

The likelihood of your child contracting a deadly invasisve VPD at the gym's daycare is pretty darn miniscule. They probably have a better chance of being struck by lightening frankly.  They are most likley to bring home a cold from places like that. My son has been in daycare since he was 3 months old. I concentrate on boosting his immune system and having him eat healthy organic food. I do not the risk/benefit analysis for those particular vaccines myself.

As for pertsussis - I would love it if there was a SAFE and EFFECTIVE vaccine that I could give my son because kids are far morely likely to get this than any of the other VPD your doctor brought up. BUT the vaccine doesn't prevent transmission and I feel is one of the most reactive vaccines and since parapertussis is also on the rise (no vax for that) and the pertussis bacteria has mutated, the vaccine is not all that effective anyway - hence why so many vaccinated people are getting the disease. I choose other ways to prevent VPD's and to deal with them if they should ever occur. Sorry you feel afraid and pressured, but that is NEVER a time to make a desicion like this. You need to let the fear pass, and look at your situation with a cool, rational head before you decide anything one way or the other.

[littlec]

Originally Posted by Marnica 

Sorry you are feeling unsure mama.

I know the feeling and it isn't fun. All I can tell you is this. You can't not vaccinate your children and expect them never to get sick. There is always a chance that they will get a VPD, (vaccinated kids get VPD's too - particularly pertussis) but you have to ask yourself what the likleihood is.

The likelihood of your child contracting a deadly invasisve VPD at the gym's daycare is pretty darn miniscule. They probably have a better chance of being struck by lightening frankly.  They are most likley to bring home a cold from places like that. My son has been in daycare since he was 3 months old. I concentrate on boosting his immune system and having him eat healthy organic food. I do not the risk/benefit analysis for those particular vaccines myself.

As for pertsussis - I would love it if there was a SAFE and EFFECTIVE vaccine that I could give my son because kids are far morely likely to get this than any of the other VPD your doctor brought up. BUT the vaccine doesn't prevent transmission and I feel is one of the most reactive vaccines and since parapertussis is also on the rise (no vax for that) and the pertussis bacteria has mutated, the vaccine is not all that effective anyway - hence why so many vaccinated people are getting the disease. I choose other ways to prevent VPD's and to deal with them if they should ever occur. Sorry you feel afraid and pressured, but that is NEVER a time to make a desicion like this. You need to let the fear pass, and look at your situation with a cool, rational head before you decide anything one way or the other.

She said it all.

Plus, look into "serotype replacement" given the vaccines he chose to try to scare you into getting. It seems all pedi's have their favorite- or likely disease they've seen the worst case scenario for, you know. Stay up to date with research, and if you change your mind about any vaccines, it shouldn't be because the doctor gave you the dead baby card.

[fussamama]

Can you advise as to the best method that you use to keep yourselves updated on vax information?  We have made our decision not to vax but I would like to keep my info current.  We are getting ready for DS to start pre-k on a military base and any help with tried and true places to keep this info current would be helpful.  I feel the need to be uber prepared for 1,000 questions as to why we do not vax, etc.  Thanks!

[claudi81]

Thank you :)

So far the most convincing peace to read about not vaxing/selective/delayed vaxing was from Dr. Miller " A user friendly Vaccination schedule" it had all the evidence and parts/pieces that convinces me not to vax. However, I am having a hard time to find non biased research or ways to weigh riscs vs benefits, just typing a certain vaccine into google and I am so overwhelmed.

I do not know how to explain it, on the one hand it makes sense to me to not vaccinate and overwhelm an infants immune system with toxins etc...I even struggle with the logic of a well child check up, it got me so upset at times that I skipped several. I know best if something is wrong with my child I have it 24/7, the doc. sees her 20 min max. Every time I leave, I know what percentile she is and that she is fine...what a waste of time, in addition to the effort of having to defend my view of not vaccinating......but again I think I am loosing confidence I still go to check ups and I still go and look back on the issue of vaxing or non vaxing....I wish I could just stay confident.

It's like when I had my VBAMC everything went just fine, had something gone wrong people would have pointed the finger at me and even worse I would have blamed myself, however I felt confident to stick with it. This vaxing thing is different as you are confronted with it often and over a long period of time.  :( ugh

If there was just a simple easy to understand non biased PRO and CONS list of each Vaccination which would make it easier vor people to stay on the subject, I am a momma who gets toooooooo overwhelmed with research sho me to many numbers and I have to stop reading :(

[Moby]

Mama just jumping in to say you are not alone.  I am overwhelmed and upset by this topic all the time.  Fighting constantly with my family who are convinced my LO is going to die and never hesitate to tell me.

And I agree with you about the Dr Miller article too.  If D, T, and P could be separated as he indicates, I would follow his schedule.  Unfortunately he had to revise it.

[claudi81]

Originally Posted by Moby 

Mama just jumping in to say you are not alone.  I am overwhelmed and upset by this topic all the time.  Fighting constantly with my family who are convinced my LO is going to die and never hesitate to tell me.

And I agree with you about the Dr Miller article too.  If D, T, and P could be separated as he indicates, I would follow his schedule.  Unfortunately he had to revise it.

thank you :) what do you mean dr. Miller had to revise it?  I asked the dr. to about the single vaccines and they do not exist :( too bad and no one can tell me why they shuff so much all at once either ugh.

[Moby]

He wrote it not realizing that D, T, and P are only currently available as a combined vaccine.  He added a revision to state that in his opinion the risks associated with giving the DTaP instead of all 3 separated with 6 months in between (as he originally wrote) was too great so he couldn't recommend it at all.  So after that great article, his recommendation was only to give the Polio vax and the Small Pox only in the case of an outbreak.

Nonetheless, it's still a great article with a lot of good sources and info.  He's got a website that has a lot of other great info including a very interesting article about the Flu shots.  I also like that he seems to be a reputable source from all I can tell.

I'm struggling with the DTaP shot right now myself.  And I constantly second guess myself.  I haven't been to well visits, but have an appt coming up (LO will be 10 1/2mos by then).  But I do have a Naturopathic Dr we see for him.  And I can tell you he does a phenominal job of talking me off the ledge so to speak.  If you can find a good one in your area, and can afford it, that would be my recomendation for another logical perspective.  Mine has really helped us out a lot.  At least I am confident that if I do end up some day getting a vax or 2 for LO, that he can help my LO recover fully from the vax itself.

[Moby]

when I say I am confident he can help LO recover from the vax, that's assuming it's not something like a serious auto-immune disorder...more like something more typical like heavy metal toxicity in the body, etc...

[claudi81]

Thanks for all the help and insight...I will check out Dr. Millers page..I to went to see an Naturpath in my old town, she tried to help me with my DD I have received a homeopathic tincture that helps your body to work with Vaccinations since my oldest DD received them, along with other homeopathic remedies that worked great for her...in Germany we work with that a lot.

I am interested what did Dr. Miller say about the Pertussis shot ??

Seems like we are in the same boat :)

[nia82]

I have the same struggle. DS had two shots and I do feel like I want some, but then again I feel like no, I'm constantly torn. And now DD is here too, but I feel she's way too young anyways (DS didn't get anything until 2.5 years). I constantly read up about all of the vaccines, serotype replacement and so forth, but good information is hard to come by. And then all the fear-mongering... It can get quite annoying at times.

Btw, I'm German too. My friends back home with kids actually don't vaccinate (hey only 2 have kids!) and they don't have rough times at the doctor's office. All the say yeah it's recommended ok you don't want it, fine let's move on. It's a more relaxed attitude especially since we don't have mandatory vaccines, yikes. I think if I mentioned homeopathy to our local doc he'd think I have 10 heads and totally lost it. Homeopathy for the mainstream doc in the US is quackery and nothing else, sigh.

[Shanesmom]

I'm so sorry your doctor doesn't respect your position!! From the first time he saw my son, I told my doc no vaccines whatsoever and he hasn't bugged me since. I go to every single well-baby visit since they are free and I like to communicate with our doc and for him to get to know my sons, and he has never pressured or made me feel bad. Sometimes he asks, "still not vaccinating?" and I'll reply yes with a smile on my face.

Can you find a doctor that suits you better? It sounds like you know what you want and that you are educated, it's this doctor who is messing with your mind.

In the meantime, I would load your children up on good quality vitamins, especially Vit. C!!!! And know that there are loads of vaccinated children that have contracted VPDs. Nothing is guarented.

[claudi81]

Thank you..the ped. I had before we moved here was ok with it never really bothered me. Here in Alabama where midwifes are almost outlawed LOL...In my research I was not able to hear or find a single dr. here that is fine with not vaccinating :( even at my tribe here people told me there are none some dr.s will even kick you out if you choose not to vaccinate :(

Ugh.....

emotionally and physically it is impossible for me to switch the docter this many times...I might rally not go anymore or just find me a ND :(  Yes Europe (Germany) is much less Drama in this particular area and birth I am certain :(

[crimsonandclover]

I eventually came to a point where I didn't feel like debating over the finer points of vaccinating.  You aren't going to make someone a convert to your side in one doctor's visit.  I just said I was against them for philosophical reasons, and kept saying it. 

Now, at a year, I am confident in my decision, but in the early months when I was just finding myself as a mother, I would bookmark articles that really resonated with me and confirmed my decision not to vax.  Then I would re-read them in the waiting room as a way to remind myself how much I agreed with the points taken, and that other people out there agreed with me too.  That way it wasn't myself vrs. the entire field of medicine, alone in the exam room!

It's hard to stay strong when people are questioning your choices as a parent.  Hang in there!  Deep down, you know what is best for your children.

[miriam]

I never discuss this subjest with anyone in real life.  It is N-O-N-E of any one's business.  

[Casha'sMommy]

Why would your pedi feel that your children are at more risk? Aren't most of the kids in the care center at the gym vaccinated anyway? Wouldn't they all be "protected" from the illness providing your child a safer environment?

OK, so I'm being a bit sarcastic but so often pro-vaxers attempt to convince me to vaccinate my children because "it will provide herd immunity" and "protect those that cannot be vaccinated".

I agree with a pp who said that you have to consider the likelihood of your child actually contracting these "deadly" illnesses.

With all these scary illnesses around I'm surprised any of us have survived to adulthood. I have older dc nearing college age as well as younger dc and I make the same point regarding meningitis. It's a wonder any of us survived college not to mention our parents must have been out of their mind to send us there.