Falling apart - Page 2

[APToddlerMama]

And, with reflux babies, it can make things much worse.  I know...I had one. 

[sosurreal09]

Sorry I may have taken it too personal b/c I am still traumatized by my DDs 1st year of life (it was hell). I did say though I agree you an certainly try other things to soothe. I think I was mostly offended by the whole "more harm than good" statement about nursing the baby every 2hrs b/c I certainly don't think I caused my DD harm by nursing her "too much" KWIM? IDK if the majority of 4 m/o can go longer than 2hrs, mine couldn't and I only have had one DD and haven't researched it at all, but I know for *my* DD that was not the case.

Originally Posted by APToddlerMama 

I wasn't referring to you at all.  My kid didn't sleep for more than 45 minutes for the longest time either.  Many nights it was literally more like 20.  I am not saying people can't or shouldn't feed their 4 month old every two hours all night long if they wish to BUT I am saying it is ridiculous to say that all four month olds NEED to nurse every two hours all night long.  Perpetuating that sort of myth is the sort of thing that leads moms to feel like failures when most of the time, at four months old, babies do not need to nurse every two hours around the clock.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with trying other methods to soothe.  If they don't work, fine, but we shouldn't be telling people their baby NEEDS to nurse every two hours all night long because it simply is not true for the majority of infants. 

[APToddlerMama]

Originally Posted by sosurreal09 

Sorry I may have taken it too personal b/c I am still traumatized by my DDs 1st year of life (it was hell). I did say though I agree you an certainly try other things to soothe. I think I was mostly offended by the whole "more harm than good" statement about nursing the baby every 2hrs b/c I certainly don't think I caused my DD harm by nursing her "too much" KWIM? IDK if the majority of 4 m/o can go longer than 2hrs, mine couldn't and I only have had one DD and haven't researched it at all, but I know for *my* DD that was not the case.

I don't think you harmed your daughter and that isn't what I meant by more harm than good.  I should have been more clear and I added it after my last reply, but what I am getting at is with certain cases such as reflux, the constant feeding at night isn't a good thing.  If definitely did more harm than good with my son.  I'm not about to criticize any night time measures any parent takes to soothe their baby, including feeding.  I know how tough it can be.  I had to have had one of the world's worst sleepers ever and every day was pretty much living hell.  I am just saying it is perfectly okay, loving, and AP to try other methods to soothe babies other than feeding.  Some might need to eat or may not be soothed other ways.  Plenty can be soothed without feeding.  I think we're on the same page ;). 

[Hannah32]

I think you definitely need to find some help. Friends, family husband? Church friends? Could you pay for a mother's helper for a few hours a week? 

[MrsBone]

how long did you go off dairy? It can take two weeks to get dairy out completely.I did this with DS, cut out everything but chicken, rice, veggies and non citrus fruit. Longest 2 weeks of my life, but dairy ended up being the culprit.
 

Originally Posted by babybob 

Thank you! As for diet-I basically cut everything out and ate nothing but plain chicken with non-gassy veggies and plain potato or quinoa, no seasonings, no dairy, etc. Any other suggestions? I'm open to anything! He does get a paci but we try to limit it to sleep-time. I'll have to try the No Cry Sleep Solution. I really appreciate the feedback and support. I wasn't expecting motherhood to be easy, but I didn't think it would be like this!!

[BabySmurf]

I am so sorry you are going through this! Just know that you are doing a great job!

Caring for any baby is exhausting, but caring for a cranky one is even harder...and it's normal to feel frustrated and overwhelmed.  Like pp's have said, if there's a way to get out of the house - do it.  if you can get a bay sitter - even just so that you can nap - do it.  it's okay to need a break, and it sounds like you need one for your sanity, and it doesn't mean that you aren't doing a good job.

are you seeing signs in LO's diaper that is making you think that there is a food allergy? are you cooking your rice in chicken broth? does it seem to be a gassy belly, or is LO just totally uncomfortable? does LO have hives or eczema?  it did take my DS's symptoms at least 3 weeks to get better when cutting out dairy AND soy, and the less i ate of it, the less it would take to get a reaction from DS.

have you read "happiest baby on the block"? There are a bunch of really good suggestions that helped us tremendously - even beyond the "colic" stage.  the biggie for us was just running the shower - and it was definitely pretty loud in our little bathroom.  or the vacuum cleaner - something with a good amount of noise that will get LO's attention.  even now (at 8.5 months) if DS is over tired, i think he gets disturbed by his own crying, and i have to do something to distract him from it.  right now it's humming rather loudly while i'm rocking him.  then he is able to pay attention to the sound of my humming, and i'll then start humming a nursery rhyme that he likes, and within a minute he is asleep.  i'm sure that if your LO isn't sleeping enough, that he is hugely over tired, which will only compound the problem.  also at this age DS hit a "wonder week" where he goes through a mental development leap, which causes DS to be very clingy and sleep really bad, and be really cranky.  if you google "wonder weeks" you will get a bunch of info - the timing and description of behaviors, which fit my DS to a tee. if there is something that you can do to get DS to sleep - do it, don't worry about making bad associations at this point. and if you need to nap while DS does, that's okay, other stuff can wait.

also, if your LO is very sensitive to his surroundings, have you considered the fabric that you are dressing him in, or perfumes/detergents you use? i know this is mind boggling at this point, but it WILL get better!

[mkksmom]

I don't know if you're still reading this, but my dd was the same way. It turns out that I have over-supply issues. It was not something I ever considered (and not something to diagnose yourself). However, a good lactation consultant might be able to help you work through some of the issues. I struggled with my first, and then a lac consultant gave me great info fo rmy second, so when the issues started again, I knew how to "fix" it. I don't think babies are just PO'ed. I think there is usually a reason. My first dd had to be held constantly, bounced and walked room to room. If i stopped any of those things, she'd scream. Wish I had more time, and hope things are calming down now.