I haven't posted in an age but I am looking for help amd you guys have been great in the past.
Bfore I go any further, I want to assure you that I whave not and will not directly harm my kids/husband but obviously, my behaviour does have an affect and I feel guilty enough about that already, so please, no flaming. I am seeing a clinical Psychologist on Wedsnesday, trying to get a GP appointment ASAP on Monday (hes been n holiday but he knows me best so it HAS to be him I see). I am being referred to the clinical psychiatric team for a proper evaluation and I have a 24 hour helpline number as I am linked in with the local Mental Health Crisis team.
I have been suffering from symptoms for years, highs, lows, self harm, suicide attempts, substance abuse, damaging behaviours etc.
Well, this week I was admitted to hospital for my second over dose in a fortnight. My liver function tests are abnormal and we are waiting to see what happens.
This has been going on a long time and for some reason, things were aways put down to depression although I always thought it was more than that. Turns out the Psychiatrists saw before I was discharged on Wednesday agree. I was sent out the hospital with a letter that said my new diagnosis is depression wtih psychosis. While I was in the hospital they kept saying I was just going through a bad moment, I said 17/18 years is a pretty long moment' and then, I open letter on way home and get a shock with the psychosis bit (really, its not surprising, I do lose touch with reality but seeing it there in black and wite freaked me out.
I was advised by friends to try a bipolar quiz online and I have done a number of them and they have all come back as being high chance of bipolar, I don't know how reliable these ests are but if anyone knows of any others that I can take with me to appoinments I would be grateful.
Thing is, I have been sent home with no medication and just a crisis line to call when I feel bad BUT sometimes everything changes so quickly I wouldn't have a chance in hell of calling someone but we will wait and see how things go.
According to what I have been reading about psychotic episodes, I have been having them on and off since aged 12 (I am 30 now), so why is it I haven't been treated properly, just handed antidepressants that make me worse????
I don't know why I am writing all this, I just feel scared and alone and would really appreciate links with more advice about depression with psychosis and bipolar if at all possible.
Many thanks in advance,