Originally Posted by meemee
i have always wanted children. i was the family babysitter. i was a natural with babies and kids - the favourite aunt. so i am not sure if i would have been much different.
yes i get tired easily and just take short cat naps.
Originally Posted by CI Mama
I felt great during my pregnancy & was not treated as "high risk" but I had a harder time than most people with labor/delivery. I do believe age was a factor in that for me. Not that I was "too old" and that's why I ended up with a c-section. But more that because of my age, I couldn't overcome some of the obstacles that got in the way of a natural birth. If I'd been able to manifest more ideal circumstances, I think I would have had an easier time, or if I'd been younger, I would have had the energy to just push through things. But the combination of obstacles AND age just did me in. And that was a really rough start to parenting.
I don't know if this is a good thing necessarily, but the difficulty of that start has completely erased any doubts or second guessing I might have had regarding having another child. My DP and I went into this 90% sure that we would only have one kid. And I thought that I might eventually feel sort of sad and wish that I could get pregnant again and have another. Nope. I'm sooooo glad that I did it, and I'm also soooo glad I don't have to do it again! And we are thrilled with our one.
That was me, too. I was a Sunday school teacher at a young age, I babysat a lot of my cousins and LOVED it, I babysat other people's kids and LOVED it and even as an adult I will tend to draw kids into the conversation or try to make sure they feel welcome, comfortable talking with the adults. I like kids. I always have.
Cat naps...oh, how I love thee!
I ended up with a C-section first time around, but it never occurred to me it was due to my age, but I do know ds#1 was sunnyside up, they couldn't get him turned, my tailbone was hooked like a J and they asked if it had ever been broken ( I played hard and fell so many times as a kid I had no idea) and after working hard to push him out, I just couldn't, so had a C-section. He weighed 7 pounds and 7 ounces.
Second time I ( barely) had a vbac and the doctor did comment that some women were built to have babies easily, I was not one of them. I am 4' 11", have a narrow pelvis, that hooked tailbone and ds#2 only weighed 6 pounds 6 ounces and I barely managed to avoid a c-section. They did use that little vacuum thingie. Again, it never occurred to me that it was my age, but just my general build.
My pregnancies were easy, I conceived immediately both times, my labors were hard and fast ( 6 hours the first time around, 4 hours the second time around ( not including pushing time) but the women in my family all have fast labors. I tried to tell the doctor that the second time...he seemed surprised how quickly it all went.
I was listed as high risk due to my age I think, but I didn't do any of the testing. I did get the bloodwork done regularly and did do the glucose testing ( diabetes runs in my family) and back then my idea of a "natural" birth was more fluid. I wanted no heavy duty drugs, to be able to walk around if I wanted and to be able to push the baby out if possible. I am okay with how things worked out, not exactly as I had planned, but not heinous either.
Family FREAKED OUT when I suggested a homebirth with a midwife ( late 80s first time around, so not as commen as today) and this was, at the time, not the hill I wanted to die on, so to speak. I went with a hospital birth and a birth plan with some flexibility on my part since I had been told, due to my very short stature and narrow hips, all my life that I would likely end up with c-sections. I think if my tailbone had been okay and ds#1 had been in the correct position, I could have pushed him out or maybe they might have had to use forceps, but could have avoided a c-section. I will say this, the doctor worked VERY HARD to get ds#1 to turn, but it just was not happening. I never felt like my c-section was unnecessary. I am okay with it. I never felt like a failure. It just was what it was. Shrugs.
I guess recoveries might have been quicker if had been younger. I never thought about it. I was pretty healthy at 31 and 37 and it didn't occur to me that I would have healed faster if I had been a younger mother.
The perimenopause thing...oh, your household will be interesting with two of you in perimenopause/menopause and your child in adolescence! Okay, the GOOD news first. Chances are good you will be MUCH more understanding of the hormonal upheaval your kid is going through, because your hormones are going to be just as out of whack. Since you and your partner will have both been through adoloscence yourselves and will have had to deal with PMS ( possibly, I guess not everyone gets raging PMS) you will have both had some experience navigating the hormonal ups and downs. Your teen will not. They will think they are the ONLY one who feels so out of control, confused and like they are on a rollercoaster. Since you will all three be experiencing hormonal fluctuations, you can assure your teen that yes, you do understand and that all of you will need to be a bit more forgiving of each other, patient with each other and quick to apologize when that is not possible. It IS hard somedays, for all involved. But you and your partner will have the advantage of knowing that this will pass. Your teen may think it is going to be like this FOREVER and not realize that it gets better. You can assure her it will get better. Oh, and I want to assure both of you, that it gets better, too. I am not "there" yet, but I have noticed a lessening of my symptoms ( hot flashes, memory loss, mood swings, etc.) and am hopefully coming out the other end! ((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) ahead of time. AND maybe you will have easy perimenopauses. Some women do!
The bad news...on BAD days, you will all be CRANKY and there will be drama. Feelings will run high. As long as everyone is aware that this is partly hormones and that things are not as dire as they seem, things can be worked out. I have told ds#2 I am just as hormonal as he is and we try to cut each other some slack when we can. We talk when we can. Sometimes we go to our separate areas of the house if we can't be nice enough to talk for awhile. I really think it's just a matter of being aware, talking when you can and helping by letting them know you understand how it feels and yes, it can be scary to feel so out of control. I finally ended up on Feingold diet to get hold of my moodswings. It has been a great help. Honestly, I should have been eating healthier anyway,but ya know...I don't always do the healthy thing. I LOVE me some Homemade Cherry Cordial Ice Cream...which I have not had in YEARS now. Full of red dye and who knows what else, but oh, my soooooo tasty!
Anyway, one child can be a great decision! Enjoy your little one and lots of happy families have one child.
Oh, the trying to stay in shape to be a good grandma, yea, I am trying to make sure I am in good shape, too. Somethings are out of my control, but what I can work on, I will.
Sorry to have rambled!
Right now the tired thing bothers me the most. I need to start taking some good vitamens, get more excercise and really, good sleep would help. I struggle with insomnia. Always have, but it's been worse during this whole hormonal shifting thing. Hot flashes will wake you up! lol!