Right now I don't know how much advise I'm seeking as much as I'm venting just to get this out of my system in a sort of calm manner...a little bit of background information...I have four kids...ranging in ages from 2 to 11. I spent a year in Iraq and have been back now for over a year...during that time there have been a lot of life changes in our family...a divorce, remarriage, move, new baby on the way, and husband's job has him working out of state.Â
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For the most part the adjustments have gone well all around with some give and take on both sides...I know that during my absence my x-husband didn't enforce things like rules, chores, or boundaries and things have gotten a bit more complicated (my sister just had his kid annnnnd I haven't even begun to think about how to address the 'brother/cousin' issue...no the sister and I don't talk anymore). One of the other things to take into consideration is that my x-husband is supposed to have visitation with them over the summer...but inevitably gives excuse after excuse as to why it can't be done...it's frustrating for the kids...but this year they seem to have accepted that he's not going to follow through with what he says.
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My frustration today is 'the easy way out...' When I ask the older kids to do ANYTHING they will spend hours upon hours trying to find an easier way to do whatever it is I've asked them...this does not matter if it is a large task or a small task...for example: 'Can you run the vaccume in the livingroom?' turns from a task that should take maybe five or ten minutes to a task that takes over an hour...why? Because rather than just doing what is asked...they seek out an easier less complex way of doing things such as...only vacuming certain spots in the livingroom or waiting until I go into the other room to do dishes...turning the vaccum on...not running it...waiting a couple of seconds and then telling me its done.
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We have a chore chart, and with school out it seems as if I'm spending half of every day fighting for chores to get done...any suggestions would be reaaaally appreciated.
