I just had to share this craziness I experienced yesterday! I'm sure many of you can relate to the unsolicited comments from other people about everything from pregnancy to childbirth to parenting. I learned quickly in early pregnancy that unwelcome advice comes from all over way before the baby even arrives. I'm completely shocked at the level that some people will overstep, though! ~
I missed a few days of work in the past few weeks because I'm having trouble functioning at this stage of my pregnancy. I have several physical and mental health issues that are being exacerbated by the hormone shifts. But the baby and pregnancy are still 100% healthy and low risk! I can't stress that enough to people. Well anyway, I got into work yesterday after having missed work the previous day. This coworker who I pretty much never talk to and really don't care for (big gossiper, distrustful, etc) emailed me when I got in and asked how I was doing, if the baby was okay, and was basically being supportive (although it felt like her primary motive was maybe to just be nosy). I haven't been informing anyone except HR and my boss what is going on and why I've been missing work. I don't feel it's anyone else's business. So I vaguely responded to this coworker that the pregnancy is taking a toll on me myself but the baby and pregnancy are great and healthy. I thanked her for her concern.
Get this! Her response was to first start out by saying, "Don't you think you should have the baby in a hospital?" and proceeded to put in her two cents that she doesn't think midwifery care is bad or anything but if I've been having such a hard time with the pregnancy then maybe I should have doctors around and extra care just in case during the delivery.
THEN she actually said to me --- and I am not kidding here --- "Has your doctor recommended you reconsider having future children?" She suggested that my husband and I think about it more because pregnancy has been so hard on me.
My first reaction was to get furious that someone who barely knows me and who I barely talk to would even overstep in such a way, even though my rational mind can understand she's probably just saying those things out of concern and not to be mean. I do realize she was working with limited information. But still, I would never even dream of saying anything like that to a close friend if they were going through something similar, let alone a near stranger at work! I ended up shedding a few tears at my desk. It really hurt for someone to say that stuff!
When I calmed down, I responded to her calmly by just explaining that the pregnancy itself is low risk and we're taking all the necessary precautions with a home birth as the next person, and that none of my personal health conditions are dangerous in any way to me or babies so there's no reason we couldn't consider having more children. The way my husband and I see it, we're just more prepared now going into future pregnancies! I thanked my coworker again for her concern and was insanely polite. I just didn't want to give her any reason to talk behind my back. My husband later said to me, "Why the hell were you so nice to her? I would've snapped on the b****!" LOL! I love him.
What crazy, inconsiderate, and/or random things have people said to you that you just couldn't believe would come out of their mouths?