What information do you give a Mom who says she probably won't breastfeed?

[awallrising]

A friend of mine is recently pregnant & says she probably won't BF; she wasn't, her husband wasn't, no one in her family was, she doesn't want to be so tied down, wants to drink, etc.  I don't want to be pushy or overbearing, but I cringe whenever I hear that a Mom chooses to not breastfeed without even knowing the benefits of BFing & the risks with formula.

Is there some concise, to-the-point information that I can give her that might make her think twice?  I will only bring it up with her one more time & then let her decide. 

Luckily, I came for a BFing family & never thought of doing otherwise....and I didn't even know all of the benefits of BFing when I had DS.

I feel like nuts when it comes to BFing even though I won't push my views on other people. I do believe in being fully informed though.

[mamaboss]

I have the same question about a friend of mine and have been wondering how to approach the topic but I was thinking of inviting her to a LLL meeting just so she sees other mom's nursing and hear about how normal and wonderful it is from actual people rather than just reading it in a book or hearing about the benefits from just me.

[philomom]

Lower risk of breast cancer?

http://breastcancer.about.com/od/riskfactorsindetail/a/breastfd_prevnt.htm


Less chance of child obesity for the kid?

http://www.latimes.com/health/os-breastfed-babies-less-obese-20110308,0,1647637.story

[PatioGardener]

I had a friend who said the same thing to me. I called her (not ideal but we were in different cities) and told her that I loved her and would support her in whatever she decided. I told her that I already adored her 7 week old fetus, and wanted to make sure that s/he had the most amazing life possible.

Then I told her that *I* needed her to know why I think breastfeeding is so important, and ask her to read some evidence (kellymom was the source I gave her I think). If my friend decided to breastfeed after reading up on it then I would support her (pay for LC, cheer-lead, talk to her hubby about it etc.) and if she decided not to breastfeed after reading up on it then I would know she made the best decision for baby and herself in her circumstances and I would also support her.

She read up on it and breastfed for 7 months, after a really rocky start, which she pushed through. I am SO proud of her. Here on MDC 7 months is probably less than average, but that is 7 whole months (6 of them exclusive - no formula even in the rough patch after birth!) for my little nephew (he calls me auntie even though we are not related.) 7 months he would not have had if his mom hadn't read up about breastfeeding, and decided that it was worth it.

Also, she confided in me later that the info I gave her on drinking while breastfeeding helped her to stick it out. She loves a glass of wine with dinner and could not imagine going for longer than her pregnancy without enjoying this important part of her culture. I gave her Jack Newman's info that says it isn't a big deal as long as you can parent.

I'm so glad I spoke up. I'm so glad I encouraged her to become informed. And I'm glad I was there to support her either way.

hth!

[anjsmama]

All of this. Genuinely wish someone would have said ANYTHING to me about breastfeeding when I had my first child. I only nursed him at all because it felt instinctual and because I feared we couldn't afford formula. We struggled a lot and when I finally broke down and had a glass of wine at 4 months, I stopped nursing... no idea I could have a drink without damaging my baby's health. I read up on it, got an LC, the whole nine yards to prep for BFing DD - but that's after some time parenting boards, researching, LLL meetings, etc.  

I have a close friend who recently had a baby (3 weeks old) and she was determined to breastfeed based on just "breast is best" sloganing out there. Low and behold, the nurses insisted she formula supplement her 3-day-old (9 lb!) baby because he was losing weight and sleepy (after an emergency c-section).  When they returned from the hospital on day 4, DH & I were their first visitors. She mentioned she was afraid her DS wasn't going to be capable of breastfeeding because he only eats for a minute or so and falls asleep. She also said (again, day 4 after emergency c-section) that her milk "just wasn't coming in right" and she was afraid she wouldn't have enough.  It was so hard not to be pushy and jump in with everything I know about newborns and breastfeeding, so what I offered was this... "I see you guys are offering him the Soothie pacifier, which is the most compatible with breastfeeding that I have found. He is sucking on it SO well! Maybe he will catch on after all." and "It's great that you are pumping right now, that shows your dedication to him! And it really will help your milk come in too, mine arrived on day 6 after a nap." In other words - I try to put a whole bunch of "totally normal fears and thoughts but they're not quite right" thoughts into an encouraging statement. She is still nursing right now and recently went to an LLL meeting and wrote me to tell me how informative it was. I have no idea if she'll continue, but I feel good knowing I helped her find some useful information. 

Originally Posted by PatioGardener 

I had a friend who said the same thing to me. I called her (not ideal but we were in different cities) and told her that I loved her and would support her in whatever she decided. I told her that I already adored her 7 week old fetus, and wanted to make sure that s/he had the most amazing life possible.

Then I told her that *I* needed her to know why I think breastfeeding is so important, and ask her to read some evidence (kellymom was the source I gave her I think). If my friend decided to breastfeed after reading up on it then I would support her (pay for LC, cheer-lead, talk to her hubby about it etc.) and if she decided not to breastfeed after reading up on it then I would know she made the best decision for baby and herself in her circumstances and I would also support her.

She read up on it and breastfed for 7 months, after a really rocky start, which she pushed through. I am SO proud of her. Here on MDC 7 months is probably less than average, but that is 7 whole months (6 of them exclusive - no formula even in the rough patch after birth!) for my little nephew (he calls me auntie even though we are not related.) 7 months he would not have had if his mom hadn't read up about breastfeeding, and decided that it was worth it.

Also, she confided in me later that the info I gave her on drinking while breastfeeding helped her to stick it out. She loves a glass of wine with dinner and could not imagine going for longer than her pregnancy without enjoying this important part of her culture. I gave her Jack Newman's info that says it isn't a big deal as long as you can parent.

I'm so glad I spoke up. I'm so glad I encouraged her to become informed. And I'm glad I was there to support her either way.

hth!