7.5 month old suddenly has needs AND wants

[Cassaba]

Our DD is 7.5 months old. She has been a complete joy and an easy baby. We've been doing our best to practice AP. However, it seems like overnight she has developed "wants" in addition to "needs". Whereas she hardly ever cried before, now she is starting to have some crying and even some screaming fits. They seem to be obviously related to wanting attention from one of us. Also, she gets bored very easily. Sometimes all that is required is a change of scenery, but other times it requires more. We are not opposed to giving her a lot of attention, but we also don't want to "spoil" her by responding to every want. I think we are fairly adept at identifying her need to nurse, eat, or be changed. I know that it's hard to spoil a baby, but we feel like we can already sense where this is going. Am I wrong about that? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[mamazee]

At that age, needs and wants are still the same. Babies legitimately need attention from their parents. You can't possibly spoil her at that age, and no child of any age can be spoiled by being given love and attention.

[wake_up]

Originally Posted by mamazee 

At that age, needs and wants are still the same. Babies legitimately need attention from their parents. You can't possibly spoil her at that age, and no child of any age can be spoiled by being given love and attention.

 

[MamatobabyA]

At that age, needs and wants are still the same. Babies legitimately need attention from their parents. You can't possibly spoil her at that age, and no child of any age can be spoiled by being given love and attention.

You aren't spoiling her by responding to her "wants".  She needs those things (change of scenery, attention from you, a different toy) to grow and develop.  IMHO, she also needs to know that even if she just wants you, you will be there. 

Also, since she is getting older, her needs are changing.  While nurse/change/sleep used to be all she needed, now she needs more. 

Have fun with it Momma!  She's going to start getting more "interactive", which is super fun!

[teraze]

I don't know...my 8 month old has a want now that's totally not a need.  He loves LOVES chewing on our remotes.  When I take it from him he cries (my babe fusses, but he rarely cries.)  The need is that he's teething, and when I substitute a teether or something else that doesn't have batteries or removable parts, he cries harder and punches his arms downward because he wants the remote.  He's having a fit.  (It's *kind* of hilarious, but of course I know better to laugh.)

But like the other posters say, you can't spoil a baby with attention.  Not to pat myself on the back, but in the above situation I think it's appropriate to substitute items or redirect your babe.  But definitely definitely pay her the attention she wants.  

That's my 2 cents for the day.  

[Monarchgrrl]

Yeah I have an 8 month old and not every want is a need, like the PP said. I agree that spending time with you is a need, but that doesn't mean that I can't eat some lunch or run to the bathroom. She can wait a second. My DD likes to play by herself a lot so it works out...for now. I actually think the "tantrums" are hilarious. I don't actually laugh at her but if I talk to her about what's going on or redirect her she stops right away. It's not like actual crying. She's mad that she can't get her way. But you know what? She doesn't need to play in the litter box, or pull the cat's tail, or chew on the remotes, or pull my hair, or get out of her carseat, or...or...or. She's just communicating that she's bored and needs something more fun to play with so I pull out some cool new toys like pots and pans, spatulas or tupperware (or my shoes). She can't control her impulses yet but that doesn't mean she gets to do everything she wants when she wants, tantrums be damned. 

Edited by Monarchgrrl - 7/18/11 at 10:49am

[Cassaba]

Thanks everyone for your responses. Teraze and Monarchgrrl have described what we are experiencing. We will continue to respond as promptly as possible (believe it or not, we have to use the bathroom and eat just like Monarchgrrl, LOL) and continue to redirect. We've used the pots, pans, kitchen utensils too. It's good to know that we aren't "spoiling" her and that her desire for attention and stimulation is a real need, although we don't necessarily have to fulfill it in the way she wants (ex: remote control, or getting out of carseat while traveling in car). 

[mamazee]

I didn't see that you were talking about her wanting the remote, just that you were talking about her wanting attention. If she wants the remote, she might just want a toy to play with and obviously you shouldn't give her something she could break or that could hurt her.

[Marissamom]

with the remote thing, I think babies (and toddlers) are hard-wired to want to explore anything their parents are using or use a lot because it's likely to be something they will need to know about later on. so a need in that case is to develope understanding of  the things they will be using when they are older. (that doesn't mean they should get to chew on it, but understanding that helps me to respond positively rather than getting mad or annoyed. 

[teraze]

Originally Posted by Marissamom 

with the remote thing, I think babies (and toddlers) are hard-wired to want to explore anything their parents are using or use a lot because it's likely to be something they will need to know about later on. so a need in that case is to develope understanding of  the things they will be using when they are older. (that doesn't mean they should get to chew on it, but understanding that helps me to respond positively rather than getting mad or annoyed. 

Yes!, this.  It also explains his fascination with cell phones and why he only seems to get pleasure from drinking out of a glass (yes, prefers glass!) cup.  (We tip it for him, obviously - got to watch out for those gorgeous teeth!)  A sense of humor seems to be critical at this stage...