Name Claiming - Page 2

[LilMomma83]

We have lots of variations of similar names between our families...I just really think you should name baby whatever you want and your sister can decide how to handle it later...just because you name your baby Lila doesn't mean she cannot do the same.

[cameragirl]

I agree - you can't really claim a name for children you haven't conceived yet. In my family, we just use the name. If someone else likes it, they use it as a middle name or just reuse the name. We have a Jennifer Renee, Sara Renee, and Renee Michelle all in the same generation. My sister named her DD Maggie Rose, and I also wanted to use Rose as a tribute to my grandmother. I used Emma Rosemary, since Grandma's full name was Rose Marie.

[RaspberryLeaf]

Why not use two middle names?  Both of my children have (will have) two middle names - Mitchell William James, and Dylan David Maxwell (that's the plan anyways).  First names are just names we like and all four middle names are family names.  If we were to have a girl her name would have been 'stolen' from a cousin.  She named her DD (born the day of our u/s) Emma; our girl name was "Emmalyn", which wouldn't have been shortened.  I say you go for it; it's for a middle name, not a first.  

[butterflyblue]

My daughter's middle name is Mae, and she shares it with one cousin on each side of the family, as well as an aunt and a great-grandma.  It's not an issue at all; in fact, I think it adds to the feeling of family "belonging".  But it's not an issue because no one involved cared to make it one.  I suppose it could have been if someone had felt that they had a special claim on it.

I guess if you can't reason with her, you will have to weigh how mad your sister will get and how it will impact your relationship with how badly you want to use the name Lila, with all of its special meaning for you. 

It is a nice name, and I don't like Christine either.

[RosieL]

I'm glad I came across this thread. DH and I kind of picked a daughters name before even getting engaged; his grandmother on one side, great aunt on the other. His SIL recently mentioned she wants the name, and seemed to hint at her belief that she has first dibs on it. They come from a family where men aren't very involved in the rearing of kids. The only thing I can imagine is MIL and SIL think of it as ME taking the name, not both DH and I.

In any case, I'm pregnant and she is just now to be married, so if mine is a girl, we plan to use the name and hope MIL and SIL stay reasonable about it.

[emmaegbert]

glad you found a name you like. I love Margaret.

recently my sister told me she has a claim on a name (Eliza) which isn't one I'd use anyway, so I'm fine with that and I said so. Though the way she announced it was rude and imperious (normal behavior for her though). But *then* she told me that she has dibs on all our great grandmothers, on our mother's names (first and middle), and all our great-grandmothers' sisters names. Um... COME ON. One g-grandmother had 5 sisters! She can't call "dibs" on 10+ names or just every family name out there. And she is not married or even in a serious relationship. Plus, we don't even know if we are having a girl, and we certainly don't know if she is ever going to have a daughter (let alone many daughters). I chalk it up to her being stressed out that I am having my third child (an unplanned pregnancy that happened despite using birth control, which she knows) and she is still single (though she is 9 years my junior, so its not that weird).

Since I have not found that I want to name my babies before they are born, I am just ignoring it and trying to be generous about the rude attitude, and I wouldn't "use" Eliza. I tried to point out that she doesn't even know how she will feel about this all when the time comes (and plus, she will presumably have a partner who will have opinions) but she didn't want to hear that.

And FWIW she is already mad that I "used" our dad's name as my son's middle name. Of course its not "used", she could still name her potential future son with it as a first or middle name for all I care. And seriously. It would still be honoring OUR DAD, not my son.

I don't really get this whole "name claiming" thing and all I can think is that its really got very little to do with the name and a lot more to do with sibling dynamics.

[Snugglebugmom]

Originally Posted by emmaegbert 
 all I can think is that its really got very little to do with the name and a lot more to do with sibling dynamics.

I think you hit the nail right on the head there!

[erigeron]

Quote:

Originally Posted by emmaegbert 

I don't really get this whole "name claiming" thing and all I can think is that its really got very little to do with the name and a lot more to do with sibling dynamics.

I'm sort of inclined to say that unless your sister is a total whackadoo, she'll get over it, and if she is a total whackadoo, then maybe it's not so much of a loss if she's mad at you. This may be harsh of me. I agree that it's not fair to call shotgun on a name like that. You never know what will happen--she might never have a daughter, or end up with a partner who HATES the name, or whatever. I'll try to stay away from names that I know somebody close to me is a huge fan of, but if I'm also a huge fan I won't avoid it for that reason... I knew a friend liked the name Penelope, so I kind of figured I shouldn't use it, but it was never more than a "hmm, maybe" name for me, and if it had been it would be a different consideration.

[Mummoth]

My sister made an annoyed comment about how I'd used our dad's name for my son's middle name AND our mom's name for my daughter's middle name. She'd claimed the name James and I stayed away from that, but we'd never talked about middle names! Now she's got two girls and is done, so maybe I'll get to take James, too! I think I might be a little petty about names... XH was really pushing for the name Stanley when I was pregnant with DS, and I HATE it. I went out & bought a gnome and named him Stanley, because we couldn't possibly name the baby after a garden decoration.