Baby showers after baby arrives

[MN BabyDust]

I need advice from those of you that have children. My friend and sister want to give me a shower, which I've never been very keen on, but it's nice of them. I was thinking of having it after the baby comes, not only so people know if it's a boy or girl to shop, but also because I thought it might be more fun for extended relatives to meet the baby and have that be the center of attention instead of watching me open gifts, typical games etc (which is why I dread attending showers or having one for myself.) My question is this: How soon after the birth is too soon to have it? The folks hosting it were wondering if they could plan to do it 3 weeks after my due date (I'm a first time mom, and my doula says first timers often go past 40 weeks, so it could likely end up being closer to just 2 weeks after the birth I guess.) Were you still insanely out of it a couple weeks after the birth? Do you think bathing and getting dressed up to socialize for a few hours will be torture at that point? I really have no idea!

Also, any suggestions for low-key, non traditional shower activities are welcome. (I don't care for the guessing games or dice games where you win a prize etc.)

[MarineWife]

I would not want to do anything for at least a month after baby is born. Typically, I stay at home with my baby for at least 2 weeks. I don't go anywhere unless absolutely necessary. I don't do that just because things might be crazy as far as trying to get ready for anything but also for the protection of my baby and myself. I wouldn't want to expose my new baby to all those people and their germs so early.

[parsley]

We had a baby shower about 6 weeks before my DD was born.  I didn't want it but was forced into it so I made a few rules.  1) it had to include both men and women-- it was a baby shower for me and DH not just me.  2) no games.  So, it was basically an afternoon cocktail party where we had to open the presents in front of people.  DH was great at oohing and ahing over each gift.  It was really nice to have his support and comfort as I felt very uncomfortable and didn't want to be the center of attention among my mother's friends and extended family.

If you do have it after the baby is born, I would think hard about the dates.  If you go 2 weeks past your dd, you could end up trying to go to a shower with a one week old.   That is not something I would be up for.   I was exhausted, cranky, and in a lot of pain from my c/s at that point.  And, there was no way I was going to expose DD to all those people and their germs.  For me, 6 weeks would seem like a good scheduled time for bringing baby out to meet friends and family in a crowd.  The problem with that though is that you won't have all the stuff you need from the shower-- no car seat, stroller, fussy clothes you wouldn't have bought, carriers, etc...

Good luck!

[dot1]

Ditto the 6 weeks after birth.  A "meet the baby" party is what we did.  If you want to avoid needless plastic crap gifts you could request that donations be made to go towards a baby item you may need, e.g. Ergo carrier, stroller, etc.

[MommyEnchanted]

When my youngest was born, we had the baby shower a good month after she was born. I wanted the family to get to meet her, and honestly I was just too ill to leave the house during pregnancy, let alone deal with the 50+ (Im serious) people that would be attending. It wasn't too bad having to get ready, and since everyone would be meeting the baby then, it kept them all from coming and ruining the quiet family time I like to enjoy after I have the baby.

[bethany42309]

We had a baby shower 3 months after our DD was born.  It was really nice to be all the way adjusted to having a new baby.  Although we probably could of done it sooner and been fine.  I would wait at least 6 weeks after baby arrives.  Not only will they get to meet baby but you'll have a better idea of the things that you still need or want for baby.  The only problem we had was people thought even though we had the shower at 3 mos that we still needed newborn sized clothes.  So we ended up getting gifts we had to exchange or take back.  I'd make a very specific list of things that you need to stick in the invitations.