What language do you use when you talk to your child about evaluations?

[vrclay]

It just occurred to me that I need to let my son know that he is going to be evaluated for gross motor developmental delays - which I'm not even sure is the best way to say it.  The evaluation is free through the county school system and recommended by his preschool after they noticed some concerning behavior.  My son is nearly 4 and pretty bright.  I know he'll have lots of questions.  My first instinct is to avoid lauguage suggesting it is a test.  Any advice?

[Linda on the move]

My DD was older and being tested for other things, but I explained that the grown ups were trying to understand her better so we could make her life work better for her. (she knew her life wasn't going smoothly). I tried to explain that she is fine, we (the adults) just needed to understand her better so we could all do a better job of being parents, teachers, etc.

I also explained that some of the things she was asked to do would be very hard for her, or even impossible for her, but that she couldn't tell how well she was doing on the test based on that. I explained that no matter how well she was doing, the test just went on and on and on until they got to stuff the that person couldn't do. They had to find that exact point.

I also explained the the person doing the testing was a really nice person who liked kids a lot, and that some parts of the test might be a lot of fun.

I said we could go to the bookstore afterwards (because that's her favorite place).

My DD really enjoyed her last eval. She thought it was fun and kind of interesting.

Good luck!

[Emmeline II]

Ds loves talk of "gross" things, so I think I said that we/the doctor want to understand how his brain works so we can help him get rid of "the crazies" (his term for ADHD symptoms); and since we can't see his brain the doctor is going to talk to him and ask a lot of questions. Ds doesn't mind evaluations, but if there are toys they have to work hard to get his attention.

Long evals or late appointments usually involved take-out which he likes .

[FarmerBeth]

I explained to both sons that evaluations help parents and teachers know how to help them run life more smoothly and emphasized anything fun  (DS1 has had a gross motor evaluation and we pretty much put it that he was going to play ball and other games).  Some evaluations are lots of fun and interesting.  DS1 loved the last one he had (it was Mind Reader and he had to decide what the facial expressions and situations were about).  The important thing is not to have them sound like a test that can be passed or failed.  I always let DS know that there weren't any wrong answers and the evaluations were about getting information, not about judging his ability.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by FarmerBeth I always let DS know that there weren't any wrong answers and the evaluations were about getting information, not about judging his ability.

I think that's easier with some kind of test than others, and with younger children.

My DD's last eval included vocab and math, and there's no way to convince a 13 year old  that there aren't right answers to those things!

[FarmerBeth]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

I think that's easier with some kind of test than others, and with younger children.

My DD's last eval included vocab and math, and there's no way to convince a 13 year old  that there aren't right answers to those things!

Very true!  I think in particular, evaluations on topics similar to school topics are a lot harder for kids to look at as just a diagnostic tool.  Actually, DS1 was very relieved that none of his evaluations this year were about any academic topics for just that reason. 

[chiefmir]

I evaluate kids all the time for work (I'm a neuropsychologist)...sometimes it is "just" my evaluation and sometimes I end up requesting OT/PT/Speech also. Almost all the time, the kids haven't been told that they are going to be evaluated at all, much less for what or what to expect.  I usually ask them what they've been told (if anything) and what they think about it.  In the end, I usually give a brief explanation adjusted to the child's age/understanding/interest, but the gist is that everyone sort of has a "brain print", and like a fingerprint, everyones' is different from everyone elses.  I tell them that the kind of activities and tests I do with them are to help me understand what kind of things they are good at, what might be harder for them, and how they learn best so that I can give advice to their parents and teachers about how to teach them the best.  When I discuss the actual testing tasks, I usually say that some of the stuff will be like school work (I do give a complete achievement test and sometimes additional reading tests) but that they won't be getting grades and that it has nothing to do with report cards (this is a big relief to them). I also tell them that those type of tests are to see what they can remember having learned and that if they cant remember how to do something they should give it a try but that I didn't expect them to spend "a million  years" trying to figure out something that they hadn't learned yet.  Then I tell them that MOST of the activites are NOT like school stuff at all and that a lot of kids find them sort of fun or interesting. I do tell them that most things are for kids of all different ages so that they shouldn't worry or be surprised if some of the things I gave them were way too easy or way too hard for them. I also tell them to ask any questions at any time and that I'll try to give them the best answers I can (without giving away any test answers!) sometimes even young kids surprise me by asking what a test is going to tell me, or if sometihng specific relates to, say, their problems with math.  hope that helps...  you could also ask the person who is doing the evaluation what language she/he uses to introduce the assessment so that you could use similar words to explain it now so that nothing sounds surprising or concerning at all that day.

[Piglet68]

This thread has been very helpful for me. My son will be undergoing an assessment within the next few months and I've been wondering how to describe to him where we are going, what we are doing, and why. Thanks for the useful tips!!