Is my daughter “happy to starve”? & DH wants me to supplement with formula. - Page 2

[APToddlerMama]

Originally Posted by MegBoz 

She's sleeping a lot at night, but I never said she was sleeping a lot overall. She'll take maybe ONE good nap for 2-3 hours during the day, & a few other snoozes post-nursing (still in my lap) of maybe 20 min, but that's it. She's awake a lot during the 11-12 hours she's not having her nighttime sleep.

She's also not the LEAST BIT fatigued or sleeping during the daytime. Quite the contrary.

"the fact that she sleeps well doesn't mean she isn't hungry"

So how DO you know a baby is hungry? How do you know a baby is getting enough to eat?

• You count wet & dirty diapers - DD EXCEEDS these guidelines
• You evaluate how they act, are they fatigued / lethargic? NOPE! That's not my DD
• Evaluate milestones - DD exceeds those too
• Measure other growth factors - DD jumped up from 15th to 50th percentiles for length & gained in head circumference
• You LOOK at baby - DD doesn't look skinny, while she doesn't have big rolls of fat, she looks good & healthy

Seriously - what is the moral of the story here?! Take your baby to be weighed at least every 2 weeks for 6 months+? That's the only moral I take from this story. You can be "starving" your baby and not know it!!!

CONSTANTLY VIGILANCE!  NEVER RELAX! Unless you bottle feed (whether eBM or formula) YOU MUST WORRY ABOUT WEIGHT GAIN.

Is that really the reality of life as a BFing mama? Cuz that's what it looks like from here.

Awesome. That's fantastic. (As posted in another thread, I'm feeling super bitter today.)

Yikes.  My baby was hungry with plenty of wet/poopy diapers and his milestones were on track.  The moral of the story isn't hyper-vigilance.  You're the one posting your concerns asking for help. You're the one stating you're experiencing "horrific anxiety" and calling it "torture."  Myself and others are offering you ideas of solutions (ie. pumping, seeing an SLP, not going several hours at night without feeding, etc) to ease your "torture and horrific anxiety."  If what you want to be told is everything is fine, okay.   Do what you like.  Your responses have been downright rude.  I'm outta here.  I hope for your baby's sake, you are able to figure things out.  If not, your husband's original idea of formula feeding might not be such a bad idea.  A mother's mental health is an important part of caring for an infant. 

[APToddlerMama]

Originally Posted by Mosaic 

I agree... this mama is stressed out, but gently, internet diagnosing is just making it worse!

Her doctor says her DD is fine. She's meeting all milestones, showing NO signs of hunger (unless I missed that in one of her posts?), growing in height and head circum. and has nice fat rolls. Where's the emergency? I just think it would be stressful to run all over town to LCs, SLPs, ENTs, etc. if there's no need to.

Honestly, her DD sounds like my first DD: great sleeper at night, non-napper, slow grower who is still on the lower end of the chart, but is a great eater. Yes, she needed extra "encouragement" for a while there, but she was well within the range of normal. This sounds normal to me. As opposed to my DD2, who is decidedly NOT normal.

But Meg, if you feel seeing an SLP or anyone else for that matter will help you feel better about all of this, go for it!

ETA: oh, and no snark taken! We're all just trying to help Meg out, and if we can give her a range of options, all the better!

Well, glad no snark taken ;).  I'm saying this not for the benefit of Meg as clearly she isn't interested in any more advice from me, but I will say for anyone else who stumbles upon this thread and who is having similar issues that plenty of peds miss these issues with feeding and latch, fatigue, tongue tie, supply.  My ped basically told me to chill, and then the SLP essentially solved my son's issues (and my own mental stress) within one session.  I just guess I don't see the harm in finding out if there is any way an SLP could help.  You can do it for free...take their advice or leave it...and it isn't invasive.  Regardless, I'm out of here as the tone of the thread (not your posts Mosaic) is icky. 

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by Mosaic 

 

Your LC should do a pre and post-feed weight check if there are suppy or transfer concerns.

was this done yet?  until you do this I wouldn't worry about anything else.

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by APToddlerMama 

Yikes.  My baby was hungry with plenty of wet/poopy diapers and his milestones were on track.  The moral of the story isn't hyper-vigilance.  You're the one posting your concerns asking for help. 

My rant wasn't directed at you! I apologize if it came off that way. That wasn't my intention at all, so I probably should have been more careful in my wording. I'm simply ranting about my frustration in general. I worried & worried & worried for 12 weeks - pedi told me repeatedly, "She is fine, stop worrying!" SO I FINALLY STOP! I finally let go and think, "OK, she's small, but she's staying on that 5th percentile curve. We're all good!" And then WHAM... NOW her growth rate slows too much! (& I let 6 weeks go between having her weighed!) After I finally let go, THEN, THEN I get what feels like a cosmic kick in the crotch. So to me, it feels like, "The moral of the story is you can never rest."

That's my feelings of frustration at my situation. Actually, I DO appreciate input.

Originally Posted by D_McG 

was this [pre/post-feed weigh] done yet?  until you do this I wouldn't worry about anything else.

Actually it was done the very day I had her 4 MO checkup & her weight gain had slowed. She weighed LESS post-feeding! Nope, she didn't spit up, I didn't change her diaper or clothes, and it was the same scale. Obviously, the first weigh was messed up, because that's simply impossible.

I went back again 5 days later & she gained nearly 7 oz in 5 days, then .9 oz in a feeding - which I considered decent since she'd already had a big first-morning feed less than an hour before I went to have that pre/post feed weighing done.
 

I also just decided to BUY my own scale & do it at home.  But funny, after that happened with her weighing LESS post-feeding - the LC admitted "it's not an exact science" or something like that. I also asked my LLL Leader friend how important she thinks this metric is & she said, "not very." Mostly just because sometimes baby could be comfort-nursing and--therefore-- not gain, (i.e. not be transferring) & that certainly doesn't mean there is a problem. To me that means, therefore, you probably ought to do it several times in a day to get a more accurate picture.

I can't see why wet & dirty diapers aren't THE most important metric. One LC said to me that regarding 'transferring' - "Sometimes it LOOKS like a lot is going on [with regards to sucking & swallowing] but they are little Houdini's & it's just appearance."
Well, if baby is only BFed, you can't be "Houdini" about peeing & pooping! ;) You can't make pee & poop appear in a diaper unless milk is being swallowed! Not saying I'm disregarding post-feed weight as an utterly irrelevant metric - but remember my DD is also gaining in length & head circumference.

[PatioGardener]

I can feel your frustration leaping from the screen. Was her 5 oz in 7 days with supplementation or only nursing?

I've seen a baby who did this kind of 'stair case' growth - 3 weeks of nothing at all then a week later he'd gained 14 oz or so. Maybe (hopefully!) that's your little one's pattern.

I also don't love before and after feeding weights - I prefer weekly or if baby is newborn, daily weights with a babe who is having trouble gaining. They are so variable at the breast. Sometimes it's a huge meal and other times just a snack.

Hang in there, MegBoz. Soon the universe will balance and make up for the huge kick in the crotch.

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by MegBoz 
To me that means, therefore, you probably ought to do it several times in a day to get a more accurate picture.

yes - you're supposed to do it for 24 hours.

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by MegBoz 

I can't see why wet & dirty diapers aren't THE most important metric. One LC said to me that regarding 'transferring' - "Sometimes it LOOKS like a lot is going on [with regards to sucking & swallowing] but they are little Houdini's & it's just appearance."
Well, if baby is only BFed, you can't be "Houdini" about peeing & pooping! ;) You can't make pee & poop appear in a diaper unless milk is being swallowed! Not saying I'm disregarding post-feed weight as an utterly irrelevant metric - but remember my DD is also gaining in length & head circumference.

I had a friend with a baby who seemed fine in that regard but was only xfer'ing about an ounce at each feeding :(  It was a tongue tie issue and when it was clipped everything was great.

[carepear]

Alright, I haven't read all of the above posts so maybe this is already covered but what chart are you using?

And do you have a pretty mobile/active 6 month old?

Also, you can get your milk tested for calorie count - I had mine and it was 23 cals an ounce.  The LC wasn't too keen on testing it because it she said baby would self regulate but it was easier for my husband to get that my milk was higher calorie than formula.  Have you done before/after weighs to see what she is transferring?