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"K" and other REALLY annoying text messages and email non ettiquite.

post #1 of 30
Thread Starter 
Maybe its just because Im all hormonal and tired, but I get SO irritated when I write someone a text message and they respond with "k". Seriously, does it really kill you to type that "o" before the "k"?

Im not big on texting anyway, so Im not super fast at it (im decent, but only because i have a keyboard), and its hard to do when a toddler is trying to grab the phone from you. I am seldomly ever one to start a text message conversation, except with DH, and we both have the same texting rules:

1. No shortened words unless its something you would shorten in a handwritten note (ex. we dont abbreviate "you" as "u" but we will type "w/" for "with". So, no "Pls dont 4get 2 call me 2nite when u get off work" because it really only saves 10 characters and it makes me feel like Im married to someone who is uneducated)
2. Understand that a text message is not a phone call. Just because you texted me, does not make me obligated to text you back asap. I might have my hands in the dishwater (or in his case, he might be planting a tree). If you REALLY need something, call me.
3. Dont be rude or curt over the texting.

It is so much easier to communicate via text with him than with some of our "k" family members. When someone texts me, and then I spend 2-3 minutes typing them an answer and all I get back is a "k" it makes me wish they had just called. Because then at least they would say, "Bye!" or "Thanks!"

To me, the same thing applies to emails.. People have no idea how rude they sound when they leave out words. They think they are saving time, but in actuality, they come off as a b*tch. I have a client that does this.
We sent her an estimate and she wrote back "Too expensive for right now. Maybe later. Schedule me for mowing this week."
It would take 10 more seconds to type, "That is too expensive for me right now. Maybe I can swing it later. Please schedule me for mowing this week. Thanks!"

Anyway, of course it is the people that I already dont like in my life that do this the most often, so I cant decide if it is a rude person thing, or if people just dont know that they are coming off as rude. I have found that people in the age range of my parents (no offense to anyone) who didnt grow up with technology are more prone to abbreviations, so I try to give them some slack. My parents are 45-50 and until a few months ago they abbreviated everything via text message. My 18 year old sister finally told them that she felt like she was communicating with a little kid when they texted her. AND, they both had Iphones, so no real excuse for the silly abbreviations.


Ok, Im done with my rant. Does anyone else think that email/phone etiquette shouldnt really be that much different than real life etiquette?
post #2 of 30

I don't know much about phone etiquette, but email etiquette is different from real life etiquette for a reason. But not spelling things correctly is not email etiquette.

 

In emails you are supposed to name to person you are emailing to, so they know that its actually for them, and you are supposed to sign your name so they know who its from. In real life you don't say everything like "Hi Steve, I was wondering if you could come over next week to help me move. From Joe" but in email Steve needs to know the email is for him and that it's from Joe.

 

As for texting, my feeling is that it's fine if it goes along with regular conversation and "k" is a pretty typical response from people when speaking. What bugs me most is "Orly" because I know they don't intend to just randomly name Parisian suburbs.

 

E.T.A. Yes I know what "Orly" means in chatspeak, that doesn't mean I have to like it.

post #3 of 30

I think it depends on who the recipient is. For example, we only have one car, so DH will text me when he is off work, "ready." And I'll text back, "k" and then I'm on my way.  It's simple and gets to the point. We aren't trying to have meaningful conversation, just trying to send a quick message. Plus, we don't have keyboards on our phones.

 

However, work emails are completely different IMO, and should be written well. Once I sent a short, text-y like email to a co-worker, and she replied to me and CC-ed a whole group of people in my office. I didn't say anything inappropriate in the first emails, but I was a little embarrassed about my lack of professionalism. So now I really try to make sure all my work emails are properly written... which is easy enough because I'm at a desk with a complete keyboard!

post #4 of 30
My husband is from England so about half his friends on Facebook are British. About 95% of them use that extreme shortened textspeak. Its unreadable. All of the Canadians that take up the rest of the list, use plain English. Nobody on my list (all Canadians) use the shortened text either.
post #5 of 30

That's interesting, Limette. I live in Canada too and I was thinking that I really don't know anyone who texts in that weird super-abbreviated way. I may be a little shorter, more to the point, but I still use real words! Maybe it's a regional thing?

post #6 of 30
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post

 

As for texting, my feeling is that it's fine if it goes along with regular conversation and "k" is a pretty typical response from people when speaking. What bugs me most is "Orly" because I know they don't intend to just randomly name Parisian suburbs.

 

E.T.A. Yes I know what "Orly" means in chatspeak, that doesn't mean I have to like it.


Somehow, the part that I am addressing is not showing up in the quote.

RE:the idea that email etiquette is different than "real life".
I should have clarified. I see emails as no different than when you write someone a note. I wouldnt leave my DH a note that said
"take out trash". I'd leave him a note that says "Dave, Please take out the trash. Love, Holly" Somehow, I have found that through technologies people have decided that they can just leave out some words, and I find it to be rude and annoying.




Regardless of who it is and how fast Im trying to be, I just dont see the point in trying to save having to type 3 or 4 characters (texting), especially to someone that isnt my partner. If two people text back and forth like that all the time, thats fine, but when you are responding to a text that someone sent you (when YOU started the texting conversation...its not like you are too busy to really respond, because if you were you wouldnt have sent a text to someone in the first place) I think it is rude to respond with "k".

This was the example that inspired me to start this thread.

Family Member: Have ur box in my car. Is Dave going 2 pick it up?
Me: Yes, what time do you have to leave work?
FM: 5, Ive got 2 go 2 a mtng. (<- this took me about a minute to understand)
Me: When is your lunch break?
FM: no lunch 2day
Me: Ok, he will be there around 3:30 if that is convenient for you. Can you unlock your car from your office?
FM: k

By the way, this took like 15 minutes of back and forth while I was trying to do laundry. A simple 2 minute phone call would have been so much better.
I guess I should have typed "Can you unlock your car from your office or do you have to come to the parking lot?" if I wanted an actual response. This is someone that I text maybe 4-6 times a month and only talk to about once a week. We arent close friends or partners.
post #7 of 30

I'm so glad we don't have texting on our phones.

post #8 of 30

I agree with everything else in the OP, but I tend to write "k" in situations where I would say, "k" (or "kay") in speech. Also in situations where I'd say, "mmmkay," since that is annoying to text if you don't have a QWERTY phone and I worry some people won't know what it means if they see it in writing.

post #9 of 30
We don't have texting anymore but a couple times when I tried to text a co-worker or client I couldn't make my hands type so I ended up using the shorthand and wrote as little as possible. I'm assuming I had trouble because I don't text and haven't gotten used to 'typing' like that but I'd imagine even some frequent texters would still struggle to manage such a small keypad.

As far as emails, I see it more as a familiarity thing. I don't take it as rude to leave out words, I see it as we have a relationship close enough that it doesn't require formalities. Some of my clients/coworkers and I converse like that, but I would never write that way to someone I didn't know well. It's a comfort thing. DH & I chat online most mornings and we use lots of shorthand and one-word answers... it's just not necessary to us to use all that formality, and in fact I don't think we'd even be comfortable talking that way.

So no, I don't think people are trying to be rude or even KNOW that you view it as rude. Actually, I'd probably be hurt & offended if you felt my comments were rude because they didn't contain enough words or characters. But at the same time, I do hate when people use obscure abbreviations because then I have to look it up or just feel totally confused!! I feel as long as your message is clear, it doesn't matter whether you write it out explicitly.
post #10 of 30

I like "k". I think it's cute and cheerful. Among my social circle, people do use it when speaking instead of "OK", so it seems perfectly natural when we use it in emails too. We're also all pretty accustomed to terse emails - "What's for dinner?" "Chicken casserole" - but that might be because a) we're all geeks, and thus a bit Aspie about communication at the best of times, and b) we see each other frequently, so we don't feel the need to socialise in emails; we just get down to brass tacks. And insults, frequently. :p Probably not the most stellar examples of etiquette actually, my friends...

 

Txt-spk does bug me, though, and I don't use it on the incredibly rare occasions I text. I have auto-whatchacallit anyway... predictive text... so it's really no slower to use complete words.

 

 

post #11 of 30

It's not just you, Adeline's Mom. After reading your second post detailing the exact situation, I can see why you feel their response was needlessly rude. 

post #12 of 30

I find that there is totally different etiquette in txting and e-mails.  E-mails are like regular letters, and I treat them as such.  So when writing in a "professional" setting, I will write professionally; when in a "formal" setting, I write "formally";  with family or when being familiar, I write very casual; and when I am writing intimately or with those I am intimate with, I may write very "short hand". 

 

Texting, though, it completely different.  While I don't like all the "txt talk" that my oldest daughter uses (where all the "odd" words are abbreviated and numbers and letters are routinely mixed into "sounds"; I think it makes one sound very uneducated), I will use some simple abbreviations when texting.  Like, for some reason, whenever I type "text", I always type it "txt".  Not sure why, it just comes out that way.  And then there are the usual ones like "pg" or "mtng", and even my own variations like "dunt know" (I always did like how Ricky Richardo made that sound) and probly (can't ever seem to spell it right, so it always gets turned to into that).  And I even use "K" on many occasion.

 

Granted, most of my txting goes to my husband.  And the reason we txt is because his work office is not conducive to him receiving calls, but txting can keep us in touch.  I am much less likely to abbreviate things with anyone else.

 

As for missing words.  I do that all the time. But, there is a very good reason.  First, I will txt Hubby when I am sitting at a stop light (say I am headed down to pick him up), so it must be quick, before the light turns green.  Takes about 5 seconds for me to txt "K" and I can do it with one finger, while watching the light.  No, I do not txt and drive.  And second, with our txt service, we can only txt 137 characters per txt.  That is it.  So, if I have to txt a message, I have to drop the niceties and just txt the bare bones.  Otherwise it is cut off. 

 

So, I can't just say:

 

Quote:
Hey Mom,
 
Thanks for the invitation to lunch. I will be there.
I can arrive around 12:30. Should I bring anything to share?
Perhaps a salad or a dessert? I am so excited.
See you tomorrow.
 
Thanks, Jenny!

 

Because if I did, it would be cropped.  So, instead, I will txt:

 

Quote:
Mom, Thanks for invite. I'll be there. 'Bout 12:30? Should I bring salad or dessert? Excited. See ya soon. Later

 

And just adding "extras" into txts is silly to me.

 

    Quote:

I wouldn't leave my DH a note that said "take out trash".
I'd leave him a note that says "Dave, Please take out the trash. Love, Holly"


Funny, because if I left my Hubby a note with all that "gushy" stuff, he would wonder what I was really wanting!  It is quite normal for our relationship to have notes left with quick instructions, "Put in mail", "Drop off today", "Don't forget list", etc..

 

 

As for the alternative of actually making a phone call, well, I DON'T call if I don't HAVE to. Can't stand to talk to people on the phone. And most of the time I have only a moment, and calling would lead into a long winded conversation about all the "what's up?" in my life stuff. Not to mention that I usually have a LOT of commotion and noise going on in my life, and so a phone conversation is just not do-able.
 

 

post #13 of 30


For some reason it's not letting me type under the quote.

 

I try to avoid shortened words and such, but my mobile plan has very limited texting (currently, before I had to pay for each individual text) and so if the message is too long I have to use up / pay for two texts. So, when I see it's getting long I will go back and change 'you' to 'u', etc...

 

I know in the States people often get "unlimited" everything in their calling plans so this is not an excuse. But some of us will have higher phone bills if we write every single word out fully, hence the shortened versions.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post


1. No shortened words unless its something you would shorten in a handwritten note (ex. we dont abbreviate "you" as "u" but we will type "w/" for "with". So, no "Pls dont 4get 2 call me 2nite when u get off work" because it really only saves 10 characters and it makes me feel like Im married to someone who is uneducated)
post #14 of 30
I see textspeak (4get, u, etc.) as different from just brief texts. The former bothers me, but I'm fine with texts that are short and to the point. So, for example, here are a series of texts between a friend and I yesterday morning - we were going to an event together. I has suggested that he pick me up at 10:45:
Quote:
Him: If it starts at eleven, 10:45 seems insufficient to drive, park, walk, climb stairs, etc., yes? In this one case I'd like to be on time.

Me: It really starts at 11:10, and unless the lot is closed again due to construction parking is close. we can leave earlier if you want, though.

Him: 10:35

Me: k

(at 10:36) Him: Sorry, just getting onto hwy.

Me: No problem

And for the record, he arrived at 10:45 and we were there by 11:00 am, with time to spare.

So, I guess I do a mix of sort of long sentences and short responses, but none of it feels curt or rude to me.
post #15 of 30

My husband always says KK not OK.  I don't really get it, other than it's a "thing" people do now.  

post #16 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuburbanHippie View Post

I'm so glad we don't have texting on our phones.



I refuse to text.  100% REFUSE.  If you need to talk to me, call me.  Otherwise, don't bother.  And if you do text to me and expect an answer, it will be with a phone call.  

 

One of my life goals to to never text (that and to never see the movie Titanic!)  :)  I am sure that won't happen as my kids will eventually be teens and well...ya know.  But they are 4 and 2 now so I have time.

 

 

My biggest pet peeve is not using capitalization in email/text/IM (whatever). DH does it and it bugs the hell out of me!

post #17 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by scsigrl View Post



And if you do text to me and expect an answer, it will be with a phone call.  


That is acctually one of my biggest pet peeves!  I txt or email to someone, a detailed message, only to have them call me back to talk!  Ugh!  I HATE that.  Of course, I don't like using the phone and they all know it.  So it really bugs me when they do it.  If I txt someone or email, I want the same form of commuication back to me.  Unlike you, they email and txt all the time.  But nearly every time I txt or email them, they call me.  I just don't answer the phone.
 

 

post #18 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post




That is acctually one of my biggest pet peeves!  I txt or email to someone, a detailed message, only to have them call me back to talk!  Ugh!  I HATE that.  Of course, I don't like using the phone and they all know it.  So it really bugs me when they do it.  If I txt someone or email, I want the same form of commuication back to me.  Unlike you, they email and txt all the time.  But nearly every time I txt or email them, they call me.  I just don't answer the phone.
 

 

 

 

And if they don't answer the phone, I guess they didn't really want the question answered :)  
 

 

post #19 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by scsigrl View Post
And if they don't answer the phone, I guess they didn't really want the question answered :)  

 


Heh. smile.gif

 

I can see both sides though. Texting and e-mail are nice because they allow both people involved in the conversation to reply when they have time, rather than having to find a moment when both people are available. And a written format is handy for detailed things like directions. It drives me nuts when someone calls to talk about driving directions, because it requires me to 1) be available to talk at that exact moment, and 2) take dictation like it's the 1950s.   

 

I don't mind calls, texts, or e-mails, but I'm pretty equal-opportunity when it comes to ignoring them. My phone needs to know it's not the boss of me, so its little chirps and squawks regularly go ignored. orngtongue.gif

 

To answer the OP regarding "K," I came back to this thread because I was scrolling back through my Messenger convo with DH, and a few weeks ago he said, "K" and I said, "What's that supposed to mean??" so I guess I do have a problem with it. lol.gif

post #20 of 30
My 16 yo went through a phase of, instead of "k" for okay, she would text back "potassium", for which k is the chemical symbol.
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