Can I get my baby to sleep later than 4 or 5 a.m.?

[TreeRose]

DD is almost 11 months. She co-slept til 6 months and then gradually transferred to the crib. She's been all night in the crib for at least 3 months now. The last 2 months we've been very consistent in responding to her cries and patting her back until she falls asleep sometimes only to have her wake up crying 10-30 minutes later again. I keep telling DH it will get better but it's not.

On a good night she will sleep from 10:30 to 4 or 5. But even on the bad nights when she's up several times a night, she still gets up at 4 or 5. We tried to create a schedule of a 6 a.m. wake up time and that's when she comes to bed to nurse for a half hour before we all start the day, but it's not working. No one wants to be the one who has to pat her for 10-20 minutes every 10-20 minutes from 4 or 5 til 6 a.m.

This morning DH brought her in at 5:20 against my better judgment but I don't know what to do. Why is she getting up so early? And why will she wake up so frequently?

She goes to bed between 7 and 8 p.m. nursing. I nurse her again between 10 and 11 when she wakes. I had to stop night nursing because she was getting up every few minutes if she woke up at all. Without night nursing we at least get a couple hours of sleep at a time, sometimes 4 to 6!

Any help would be greatly appreciated. I'm just so tired. And I'm pregnant... aaauuugghhhh..

[Marissamom]

I would guess that she's getting hungry.

[TreeRose]

I wondered that too, but she won't go back to sleep even if I nurse her for 30+ minutes!

[anjsmama]

How pregnant are you? She might be genuinely hungry (for food), if she's not getting what she wants/needs from your milk. If it's changed, or is changing, she might be looking for something more filling to go back to sleep. BTW my DD is younger but follows the same schedule - nurses to sleep between 7 & 8, I nurse her when I go to bed around 10, she wakes around very hungry 5 and I typically nurse her both sides (maybe 30 minutes?) and she'll sleep til 630 or 7.  That's why I'm asking about milk density... perhaps she needs more to finish resting?  Pregnant + babe is tough work. Hope she sleeps in for you!

[TreeRose]

Ah, I was afraid of that. Am I just stuck with this "schedule" until she outgrows it and can sleep later? Is there anything I can do? I tried nursing her on both sides today but she remained awake having gotten us up at 5:30... :(  I'm just tired.

I'm 10 weeks pregnant and wishing for more sleep. I keep telling myself things will change but then months go by and they don't. Sometimes I feel like the only mom who's almost-1-year-old still doesn't sleep!

Thanks for the hugs - I need them. :)

[tooraloora]

Is co-sleeping completely off the table? My DS (almost 1) behaves about the same on nights I'm not in bed with him. He just sleeps better when touching me. We both get more rest in the same bed. Your DD's issue could be something else entirely, but it's something to consider.

[Marissamom]

maybe try water and some crackers? 

[loveangel]

might be she was hungry

[RaspberryLeaf]

What is her nap schedule like?  DS would not sleep in if he didn't have two good naps the day previous.  Could you try bumping back bedtime?  I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for you while being pregnant as well!

[seraf]

Just popping in with sympathy.  My second was an early riser.  From the day she was born she was up to play between 4 and 5.  I think I convinced her to stay in bed until 6 when she was about a year?  Now that she's 5, she usually sleeps until 7:30 and I'm thrilled.  As an infant she wouldn't go back to sleep for anything.  She was up until about 10 minutes before her brother woke up.  I decided it was easier for me to go to bed earlier than fight her.   Good luck finding what works for your family.

[Xerxella]

I agree with other posts that she's hungry.  Is she eating solid foods?  I know others will disagree, but what finally worked for us was the full fill up at the late dinner.  At 7 or 7:30 we'd sit the child down for dinner.  We'd do a veggie and then do tons and tons of oatmeal.  They could eat a lot of oatmeal!  When they were done I would nurse down to sleep and then I'd o a top off at 10 before I went to bed and then there'd be a 5 am-ish wake up call when I would nurse them back down and go back to sleep myself.  My kids were crib sleepers from about 6 months on, but I would certainly move them back to my bed at the 5 am wake up, so we'd all get another hour or so. 

I know other parents who would get the kids up at 10 pm and give them the full meal then.  I couldn't imagine doing that, but it worked for them.  Good luck.  You may be stuck getting up at 5 am and giving her a full snack then.  Would you be open to a bottle or sippy cup of water at 5 am?  Especially if dad brings it in that may be just enough to get her over the hump til morning.  After a while, we just started leaving a sippy with water in the crib. 

Good luck.  Hugs to you.  That's a tough age for sleeping and being pregnant on top of it!  Ugh! 

[TreeRose]

Thanks everyone.
We did cosleep until 6 months because it was important to us but the sleep quality suffered for both DD and myself. The tossing and turning and crying and fidgeting was just too much so we gradually transferred to the crib.

Last night I put her down at 8 (the latest she's gone down so far) and she wasn't up until 12:45 a.m. at which time I fed her. She still got up at 4:45 a.m.! But DH was able to pat her down and she stayed down til 6. Better than usual. And yesterday contained a good nap.

She's just a bad sleeper, naps and nighttime combined. Her daily naps are 2-3, and range from 10 minutes to 90 minutes and there's just no way of telling which kind of nap I'll get out of her. If she wakes for any reason, she's popping up and not going back down. I'd say last night was the best I could hope for these days, although when I get up that late and nurse it takes me hours to fall back asleep (pregnancy induced insomnia at its best).

I'm definitely intrigued at the sippy cup idea from DH to DD... I may pursue that after she reaches a year next month. I want her to feel like we're there for her and at the same time, I desperately want us all to sleep.

I totally feel for the mama getting up between 4 & 5 a.m. for at least a year. How did you get her to stay in her crib til 6? Quite an accomplishment if I do say so! :)

[TreeRose]

Oh and yes she eats TONS of solids. We did BLW and she eats everything we do and then some. There are days I think she eats more than I do. We usually eat dinner around 6 to allow time for her to spend with Daddy and do baths / showers / wind-down...

[Marissamom]

bedtime snack?

[TreeRose]

Perhaps we will start having a bedtime snack with good fats, proteins and carbs. It's definitely worth a try. Thanks for the suggestions!

[Parker'smommy]

I wanted to add that I treat ANY waking before 7 am exactly like it's the middle of the night= no talking, lay down, pat back,nurse,  whatever you do to get baby to go back to sleep if they woke up at 1 am for example. 6:55? I treat it like the middle of the night...seriously. I've always done this and my kids all sleep in! They may not sleep all night, but they sleep till at least 8 am most mornings...if not later. My room is also SUPER dark, cool, and quiet. 

[newmamalizzy]

Originally Posted by TreeRose 

Ah, I was afraid of that. Am I just stuck with this "schedule" until she outgrows it and can sleep later? Is there anything I can do? I tried nursing her on both sides today but she remained awake having gotten us up at 5:30... :(  I'm just tired.

I'm 10 weeks pregnant and wishing for more sleep. I keep telling myself things will change but then months go by and they don't. Sometimes I feel like the only mom who's almost-1-year-old still doesn't sleep!

Thanks for the hugs - I need them. :)

Nah!  I have a 16 month old, and she still doesn't sleep either :)  Happiest Toddler on the Block suggests waking your baby up to eat before they wake you.  It sounds like you're doing that at 10 or 10:30 when you go to bed.  Have you tried waking her up to nurse at 2:30 or 3:00 a.m., too?  DD went for a long stretch of waking at 4 a.m. when she was about your daughters' age.  She was hungry, I think, but she'd slept for long enough at that point that it was hard for her to go back to sleep.  If I woke her up to feed her an hour or so earlier she was still tired enough to go back to sleep, and then she'd sleep a bit later in the morning. 

[TreeRose]

Thanks for more ideas.

Heather, I have tried the same concept, except for us, before 6 a.m. and it just got so frustrating between 5 & 6. If the point is to get a little more sleep it was pointless because someone had to get up every 10 or 20 minutes to pat her back down which is exhausting and then at 6 a.m. we are up and getting DH out the door. This morning DH only had to pat her twice between 5 and 5:30 and she slept til 6:30 which is a record, but it's hard. It's either commit to patting every 10 minutes or just bring her in to nurse which is painful for me and we're all awake at that point anyway.

NewMamaLizzy, I have also thought about getting up to feed her at another point but I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. I get so little sleep as it is and am exhausted in the first trimester of pregnancy. I do get up and nurse her if it's before 11 p.m. (sometimes before midnight if she gets up and I have it in me). Otherwise, I sleep if I can.

There are some nights when she sleeps straight through - at least til 5 and I think that's amazing. I'm so happy about that. But on the nights, like last night, when she's waking every hour and sometimes twice in one hour, it's just exhausting and I don't understand it. With an 11 month old, and being told by peds, books, and other moms that they physically have no reason to NOT STTN, I get frustrated and so does DH, wondering if we're doing something to perpetuate this exhausting cycle. I really just want to sleep... yawwwwn and I want her to too! I just read that toddlers should get 10-11 hours a night and she is lucky if she gets 9! And she's not a big napper either, so I worry she's not getting enough. We say she doesn't "like to sleep" and maybe that's not true but it feels like she'll take any opportunity to wake up. She was sitting up in her crib and babbling away at 1:30 this morning.

I know everything will pass including this... just desperately seeking ideas for better rest. I have tried a snack right before bed but she's not interested, probably because she eats dinner between 6 & 7 and then goes to bed between 7 & 8 and isn't interested in more food.

Thanks for listening guys!