Actually, there will be 2 teenagers(16 and 14) and an almost-9 year old. My 14 year old will remain homeschooled this year but the other two will be going to school. If I go into labor during school hours, my 14 year old is worrying about what will happen, as it will just be us two at home alone. She doesn't remember my homebirth with her little sister...the 10 hours of labor that was quiet, she remembers when I got loud during transition though. My husband works 30 minutes from home. She is very concerned about what will happen during those 30 minutes. I have made a list of things to do when I go into labor (do the dishes, take out the trash, clean out the van,...busy work but also very useful work.) Despite her worries she does not want to go anywhere else...she wants to be here, but just not deal with me LOL Does anyone have any ideas or advice I could tell her? I have tons of birth books but she avoids them.
homebirth with a worried teenager in the home
I don't know that I really have any good advice. The only thing that's coming to me is maybe have a neighbor or friend available to call on if something emerges that you need help with. That way she won't feel like she has to do anything for you.
Does the 14 yo understand that 'going into labor' is usually a fairly slow process? It's not like you're going to have one contraction and out flies baby with only her to catch (or rather that's extremely unlikely). More like, oh I think I might have a baby today, let's clean up the house and walk around the neighborhood for hours, etc. LOL. Maybe she could read some labor/birth stories about the hours and hours this is likely to take leaving plenty of time for dad to make his way home, a MW to come (if you're using one), etc. Depending on your hubby's job, maybe you can reassure her that you will call him home very early in the process and that there is virtually no chance of anything dramatic happening with just her there.
I tried to explain how my last labor(which was at home and she was there) was 12 hours long, mostly well-handled quiet contractions, but she doesn't remember any of that part, and only remembers transition at the end where I yelled LOL. I even have pictures of her and her older sister in the bedroom sitting on the bed with me while I was having contractions. I think I will have her read some stories from my Birth Book by Sears. While I really wouldn't mind a shorter labor I don't think it'll be short enough for her to have to deal with any of it! And dh will be able to leave right when I call and honestly if he needed to he could be home before the 30 minutes it usually takes him and our daughter knows that. Actually a better idea I think is to sit with her and tell her the labor stories for all of my kids...then she'll hopefully have the feeling that this one will be the same way.