I have a problem.

[goodygumdrops]

Seriously, I need help.  I have actually been thinking I should see a therapist about my habits.  I have not been taking care of myself for a while now.  My marriage fell apart and I was super busy trying to raise my son and get through my MA program...which I finally finished last month. 

So, yesterday I was on tv...I was interviewed for a local news channel and I just realized from seeing myself on tv how much weight I have gained.  I am about 165 and I should be "ideally" around 120.  45 pounds.  I would be ecstatic at 20.

I eat horribly..fast food, diet coke...hardly cooking.  I used to be so good about my food.

I guess my problem is I don't know how to be a working mom and also maintain my weight and health diet. 

I think I'm going to read the China Study and Why we get fat to try and motivate.  While I lay in bed. 

It's pathetic....HELP!

[gigismom]

just wanted to offer some support... i totally hear you!  I work full time and have strong views on being a present parent when I am with my kids so I place high expectations on myself.  That means that I have been extremely preoccupied with every body other than myself for the past 12 years or so (either pregnant and/or nursing the entire time).  My youngest is just now starting to be less physically needy (he's 3.5y).  He is starting to nurse less and play independently more.  I now find myself with more time to think about my own health.  Also, while the kids always ate fairly healthy, I had some seriously bad eating habits for awhile... for the same reasons (busy, giving into cravings out of stress and lack of sleep etc..)  However, the before mentioned youngest child has severe food allergies and I have completely re-vamped my diet because he is nursing.  While it has been challenging to deal with this, the resulting change in our diet has been so good for all of us.  Anyway, I tell you this for a reason... I don't think we could have changed our diet so drastically if I had tried to do so quickly.  Big changes that are expected to be permanent take time to become habit.  I really had to be gentle with myself and the kids in the process of making changes.  Also, with this new found time in my life, I have started running and exercising regularily and I feel great!  So I guess I don't have much to add except I have been there and be gentle with yourself and make little changes that are easy to stick to in order to expect them to last....

good luck

jennifer

[Love_My_Babies]

I totally hear you about putting others first.  But, who takes care of mom when she is sick????  When my bff (who had two tiny girls) was diagnosed with terminal cancer is when I finally got my butt in gear.  When I started I was bordering the obese category.  I have lost 80 lbs, and I ran a marathon.  Those are my victories, but of course there were a lot of stumbles along the way.  My biggest suggestion is to realize that the best way to take care of your family is by being alive and healthy -- just like the airline attendant teaches us before take off, in case of pressure change we are supposed to put on our own air mask before helping others -- we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others. 

[loveangel]

Originally Posted by Love_My_Babies 

I totally hear you about putting others first.  But, who takes care of mom when she is sick????  When my bff (who had two tiny girls) was diagnosed with terminal cancer is when I finally got my butt in gear.  When I started I was bordering the obese category.  I have lost 80 lbs, and I ran a marathon.  Those are my victories, but of course there were a lot of stumbles along the way.  My biggest suggestion is to realize that the best way to take care of your family is by being alive and healthy -- just like the airline attendant teaches us before take off, in case of pressure change we are supposed to put on our own air mask before helping others -- we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others. 

i am agree

[goodygumdrops]

You know I really get what your saying.  I think that I am so mentally invested with school and work now that I have just been "rewarding" myself and kind of dealing with the stress through overeating.  Seriously, I need to kick the diet coke habit.  I know how bad it is for me....why do I still do it? 

[PJsmomma]

I've been there!

A therapist may help. But a great book I read by a psychotherapist is The Beck Diet Solution: How To Think Like A Thin Person.

SUPER good

[herent]

Just wanted to let you know I was a diet coke addict as well and gained alot of weight because of it.  Artificial sweetners still can spike blood sugar and cause cravings for sweets later, I found that to be true for myself.  I notice if I eat something sweet I will crave more sweets in a short amount of time.  I kicked the soda habit by cutting down slowly one less soda a day and now after about 6 months I only allow myself to have soda if I go out to dinner as a treat or if I'm at someone elses house, I never have it in my home.  2 weeks ago I fell of the wagon when we went on vacation and drank as much soda as I wanted, I gained 6 pounds in 1 week.  Now back at home no soda, eating healthier and am losing again, cravings are back to normal.  So kicking the soda is an excellent place to start.  Good luck.

[sren]

It took me 25 years to realize that all of the diet soda I was drinking was helping me to gain weight!  I always knew it was bad for me, but I was totally addicted and I figured better something with no calories.  When I read the studies about how AS mess with the metabolism I dropped it cold turkey, and I noticed some physical symptoms, like headaches, disappear.

[sren]

Oops forgot to add that I am still addicted to bubbles!  I drink a lot of sparkling water. 

[*MamaJen*]

Y'know, I think it really boils down to the fact that you have to give yourself permission to value yourself. That's something I've definitely struggled with. Especially as a super busy working grad student single mother, I know I have a habit of putting everything else before me. In the last couple years I've worked really hard on valuing myself more and making myself a priority. That's meant trying to establish regular exercise even if there are dishes in the sink or a zillion pages of class reading to knock out. It also means trying to eat in a somewhat healthy manner. I haven't been perfect about it (I've been doing the 1000 minute challenge for like four months and haven't come close to hitting the goal) but I have been working at it consciously. My next semester is going to be a little insane -- I'm taking 9 graduate hours and working 20 hours because at that point I get full benefits (!). I was just trying to figure out how to schedule in exercise time. I think that will just have to mean dropping DS off at daycare at 7:45 rather than 8:45 two or three days per week, or possibly working out late in the evening after he goes to bed. It's not ideal, but that's the reality of life as a single working mother.

To me, it boils down to this: I deserve to be healthy. I deserve to feel strong. I deserve to eat food that is good for me rather than harmful. And damnit, I deserve to feel happy about my body. And of course, it also sets a good example for our kids. 

I would say be gentle with yourself, but sit down and map out a plan. Schedule in exercise time just like you would schedule work or study time. Meal planning can also help tremendously. Buy healthy things for quick meals like beans and rice, big salads, fish, that sort of thing.