Prefer Mothering over other forums?

[cameragirl]

Is it just me, or does the crowd here at Mothering seem to be...well, more mature? When I go to other pregnancy forums, it feels like I'm reading and responding to a group of high school aged kids. While this site is smaller, it seems to be a lot more comforting compared to the freaking out, anxiety ridden posts elsewhere. Is it just a more educated group? Maybe just the type of people drawn to this site?

[zubeldia]

cameragirl, that's definitely my experience, too. I really don't feel like I fit in AT ALL. I find it difficult to relate, honestly, and this was the case when I belonged to other due date clubs in my last pregnancy. That said I do have a group of women that I am still close with from another board.

[Brisen]

I can't really compare, but I did join another ddc for my pregnancy with my youngest, and it was about the same as here, just not as many homebirths/natural births were being planned, and a few more ultrasounds.  There was one woman who was also a member of both ddcs, but I think in the end she was a total troll, and just about the only source of nonsense in either ddc.

I'm surprised to hear you say Mothering is smaller, though; it has grown so much since I joined!  I guess I assumed it was as big as any other forum out there.

[3timesamom]

Oh yes its certainly more layed back! Plus on the other DDC the mommies are CONSTANTLY obessing about having a miscarriage. The group is so big that unlike this one where faces become familiar from day one they are dropping like flies and I don't even remember hearing of them before! Oh and if I hear one more of them say they are rushing to the ER about a 6week miscarriage I will scream! I better prepare!!! LOL

[samuelsmom]

I don't even go to other sites. With my first baby (10 years ago) I did some of that, but there weren't many open forums...just information. When I found MDC when ds was a baby, I never went back. It's always been the place I go for support when I need it. I think we tend to see birth and pregnancy as a normal event, rather than one full of worry and disaster. That's what I like about this place.  And, if the worst does happen, it's such a supportive place to be for that, too!

[cygknit]

I was on another site with my first and my DDC was a nest of drama. I was able to find a good place for me in the site's cloth diapering board, but my birth board was crazy. With my second I popped in, but quickly left since it was so weird.

I am lucky that the CDing board split off and I've been at a private site with those mamas for the past 4+ years. There were a lot of us pregnant when I was carrying DS2, and I didn't really need a DDC. The number of us having a baby now is pretty small, and I am so glad that MDC seems a really good fit with intelligent information and well-thought plans.

[loveandlight33]

the majority of the time I visit other boards is when I have googled a pregnancy question and seen what other people have to say. I had an app on my phone that went straight to pregnancy message boards, and the girls on that were definitely juvenile. I'm not interested in being a part of drama, another reason I really like mothering.

[3timesamom]

Mothering rocks! I also think that it fits with my not so mainstream ideas on pregnancy and delivery, not to mention parenting!

[biffer]

I just feel like this board is more supportive and more crunchy without being overbearing. We have a good mix of everything here without people forcing their opinions on others. Thanks for making this place so welcoming! 

[Jayto]

With my first I was on another board, and they were the support I needed at the time.  But my natural parenting inclinations evolved throughout my pregnancy.  I started out with a very clinical, medical approach and ended up wishing I had a doula and midwife, and not the horrible medical experience I'd lined myself up for.  After I had my DS, I wandered over to the Mothering boards and found the ddc I should have been a part of from the beginning.  Not only are we still in touch five years later, I count them among my dearest friends.  I have met many of the moms and kids in person, and most of us are a regular part of one another's lives.  

Most ddcs bring together women who have one thing in common - a due date.  This one adds a factor that I think is really important - a more natural approach/feeling/philosophy/respect/notion about motherhood and parenting.  That commonality means a lot, in the long run!

[bcblondie]

I'm very active on tww and I love a lot of those girls to death. I don't find most of the immature. But it's definitely more mainstream. My ddc there ...maybe one or two other homebirthers. In another ddc someone posted a youtube vid of an 8 yr old nursing and EVERY person said "that's nasty, she could at least pump and give it to the kid" except ONE person that said "to each their own." I couldn't believe it. I get a little worked up over there somtiems lol. I fit in better over here, crunchy-wise. But I've been on tww longer.

[cameragirl]

What is tww? Mothering is a little smaller than say, Baby Center or Parenting, but it definitely makes up for it with the crowd. I can talk about my miscarriage here, and about my fears, and not have it be a total freak out. I can ask about placental encapsulation out of curiosity, and not get a chorus of "EWW! Gross! I would NEVER do that!" I can also talk about my need for a medical birth due to a health condition, and you know what? Everyone seems to accept that the experience needs to be different for everyone, because we're all different ourselves. Thank you to everyone here for making it that way.

[bcblondie]

Twoweekwait. Sorry. lol. It's pretty busy. I'd say a page full of new pee stick threads a day. I enjoy that. :D

[lilkat]

Originally Posted by cameragirl 
Everyone seems to accept that the experience needs to be different for everyone, because we're all different ourselves. Thank you to everyone here for making it that way.

Yup, yup, yup. Totally agree. You ladies are really my lifeline right now, too, because I can't talk to people about my pregnancy IRL yet (and even then, I have so few friends close by who have been pregnant and can commiserate). You all are awesome!

[mamathomas]

cameragirl, you just let me know if you ever want to chat about placenta encapsulation - did it before, doing it this time ;)

[cameragirl]

Originally Posted by 3timesamom 

Oh yes its certainly more layed back! Plus on the other DDC the mommies are CONSTANTLY obessing about having a miscarriage. The group is so big that unlike this one where faces become familiar from day one they are dropping like flies and I don't even remember hearing of them before! Oh and if I hear one more of them say they are rushing to the ER about a 6week miscarriage I will scream! I better prepare!!! LOL

My sister commented on the high strung attitude in her DDC last year. She said she had to stop logging in because they would freak out so bad that it started to get her scared. We all have fears, but it is like comparing an adult conversation to Chicken Little screaming about the sky falling.

[Dandy Lion]

The board I was on when I was pregnant with my ddc was pretty cool, but it had a much different feel. For the most part everyone was much younger (early 20's), and a lot less educated. I think we all grew a lot together, and I learned so much on the board. I was due at the end of the month and didn't figure out if I was even pregnant until 7 weeks, so there weren't any miscarriages that I can remember. The site is very different now though, so I'm happy to be here. I think most of us are in our thirties and  educated about the best birthing options for us.

[momtoafireteam]

Definitely!! I am part of more "mainstream" forums for other things, but I come right back to MDC when I am pregnant. Its the only DDC I am ever a part of! I love it here.....

[munkeesmama]

I definitely think it's a more mature group of women.

[Brisen]

I decided to go check out a message board with ddcs I was a member of when I was pg in the past, since I'm bored and trying to avoid cleaning up the kitchen.  I have to say, as much as I miss being able to click on blog links in people's sigs here, I'm glad they're so low-key.  The sigs on this other board are super fancy, with collaged pics of kids with their full names and birth dates sometimes.  I like the fancy pg tickers, but there is one which uses a real picture of a fetus (deceased) to show what the baby looks like now... that's hard for me.  I find the pictures beautiful on their own and I wouldn't mind coming across them if I were looking for them, but to scroll past them again and again while reading on a message board... a little much for me.

(Just to clarify -- I think this is totally different from having photos of your own stillborn baby, for instance, in your sig or as your avatar.)

It doesn't help that someone there just posted that they're having twins, and there are already a couple of others twin pregnancies in that ddc.  I lost twins in an early miscarriage a few years ago, and I've been thinking about them a lot this time.  That really has little to do with the board itself, it just didn't help my impression of it.