Nobody here said "every woman must hire a doula". I have never hired a doula but I don't see why a woman can't choose that. Your opinion, on the other hand, seems to be that NO woman should hire a doula- you have made that pretty clear. I didn't miss your point, I heard it loud and clear when you basically said that a man who is anything but a woman's 100% labor support is uncaring, uninvolved, and that the woman is "writing him off" and why even be married?! Those are such ridiculous claims, I can hardly begin to unpack them all. A doula is not a "stranger" as you have asserted, at least no more a stranger than a midwife! It is not "aberrant" or "gross" (your words). Doulas are as involved or uninvolved as a couple decides. It does not necessarily mean that a father is not there as a coach or support person or whatever role the couple sees fit. Doulas and fathers as birth assistants and midwives and WHOEVER else the mother/family wants to be there can all contribute to a positive, perfect birth experience.
What about women without a partner?
What about women with a partner who is faint at the sight of blood?
What about women who just desire to have a strong, knowledgeable female presence at her birth and the father helps in making that decision?
Why can't each woman decide what is best for her birth, hopefully with the consent and input of her partner, without feeling judged by people who think and say things like you have?
Men can be educated, wonderful and invested in their families AND STILL have a doula present at the birth.
Sigh, you are missing my point. Daddies should be educated, wonderful and everything a woman needs.Men who are invested in their families shouldn't even blink when it comes to stepping up. Especially if you are already paired with an awesome midwife. I'm here to say that I find the MDC "every woman must hire a doula" attitude offensive.