Quirky or something else?

[mommyofgb]

I have a 34 month old dd who has some ''quirky'' for lack of better word, differences between her and her peers. She was/is a lateish talker. Never feel behind the norm, but does not talk like her peers. She is super shy and sensitive and after enrolling her in a preschool, I can now see how big her differences are. I thought maybe I wasn't looking at her objectivly, but her teacher mentioned to me that she only will respond to instructions directed to her, meaning she has to say her name, look at her and tell her what to do where the rest of the class just gets it when told as a group direction. She doesn't really interact/talk with the other kids, I don't know if its because she doesn't talk as well as them or what, but she has a little friend that leads her around class but my dd won't say a word to her. She smiles while there and talks if called on for an answer by her teacher, but won't initiate any conversation where all the other 2 year olds can. She won't talk to anyone she doesn't know, if a stranger approaches her in a store, she will smile at them when they are talking to her, but won't answer and will eventually cover her face. Is that just shyness? She is very sensitive, crys a lot over small things. She reverses pronouns still and even after working with her, she is just not getting it. Sometimes she will say something like ''are you done going pee?'' When I know she means to say ''I am done going pee.'' What concerns me is that its a question inflection, and not a statement. It's the question I ask her when she's done. I had an eval. done on her and the psychologist gave her a stamp of normal and said I would ''never have to worry about autsim again'' with her, but as she gets older, and her quirks and aloofness aren't disappearing, I wonder if she will eventually be diagnosed with something. I also took her to a SLP who said she will catch up and didn't even really consider her behind. I just don't want her to struggle as she gets into school because she is so shy and sensitive and has trouble with communication. Am I being ridiculous? I think I have exhausted my resources trying to figure out what's going on with her. I am just concerned with the communication issue and social issues as a conbination. 

[SpottedFoxx]

Mama, follow your instincts!  If they are telling you something is off - keep pushing.  I don't like regular pediatricians for this type of thing.  All too often you hear "late bloomer" or "she'll come around eventually".  I still kick myself for listening to those comments.  

Contact your school district - they will be able to do an evaluation to see if she qualifies for services.  While you are doing that, get yourself an appointment with a developmental pediatrician.   Be prepared, most DP's have long waiting lists.  Get on as many as you can and ask for them to put you on a list to call if there are cancellations.

Whatever you do, follow your gut - it won't steer you wrong.

[Tjej]

Have you looked into what it means to be introverted?  Maybe it is just your daughter's personality.  I'm quite sure that my DD would have been similar in a preschool environment at 2 (or 3).  Some kids are really sensitive, slow to warm up, and even a bit aloof.  It doesn't actually mean there is a problem, but there are ways to help them be more comfortable in group situations and to work with them to know how people generally respond.

Tjej

[Plummeting]

I'm pretty sure there is no way anyone could guarantee that a 2yo didn't have an ASD on the high functioning end. My dd seemed perfectly typical at that age, because all her quirks could have been attributed to her being so young. It's when she failed to grow out of any of them that it became problematic. A 2yo throwing tantrums multiple times a day is typical. A 7yo doing it is not. A 2yo failing to understand that other people's feelings matter is typical. A 7yo is not. A 2yo not having friends is typical. A 7yo is not. A 2yo refusing to respond to extended family members who talk to them is typical. A 7yo is not. I just can't see how someone could say for certain that there was no way a 2yo kid could have an ASD. Maybe it's because I'm new to this, though, and don't know all the ins and outs.

[mommyofgb]

Is it possible that dd might have a language disorder? She cannot get her me/you pronouns, I have been working on it for months. A lot of times she really struggles to get her point across and her grammer is horrendous. I read an article on Semantic/Pragmatic Disorder and she does seem to have several of the traits. Its frusturating seeing 3 different proffesionals and hearing that there is nothing wrong, and then seeing something else in your child that they don't see. Did anyone have trouble getting help for their child because the proffesionals missed it inititally?

[FarmerBeth]

I'd get her in to see an SLP.  My youngest has an auditory processing and expressive language disorder, with no pragmatic deficits.  Some of your daughter's symptoms sound similar, but you could really do with some formal evaluating to figure that out, and to assure there aren't any red flags for ASD as opposed to a language disorder.  Semantic Pragmatic Disorder is considered a communication disorder (as ASD is) versus a language disorder since it involves non-verbals as well.  An SLP will also do some screening for pragmatic language, which you can then take to your pediatrician.  I'd also suggest a neuro-developmental pediatrician rather than a regular one (I have one kid informally on the on the spectrum as well as the youngest son with the language disorder, so I've been through the testing rounds a lot of times).  I really had a lot of trouble getting anything done without the SLP.  At age 7, he's still struggling with pronouns and sentence order, but he's made huge improvements since speech therapy in terms of speaking confidence and adequately getting his point across to others.  He no longer seems shy at all, and the teachers often describe him as one of the most socially adept boys in the class.  If it is hard for a child to get their point across (our son also has issues with word retrieval, or knowing the right word but not getting it out, and this problem wasn't as obvious at your daughter's age when verbal expectations are lower), or to understand rapidly fired verbals (our son's receptive vocabulary was actually above average, but his verbal processing speed is slow, meaning he is best hearing directions in short chunks), it will affect their social confidence as well.  Both speech disorders and communication disorders do better with early intervention, so I'd suggest following your instincts and following through with both an SLP and developmental pediatric assessment.

[Emmeline II]

If you are in the US you could contact early intervention for an evaluation. It may be that she is shy, or maybe she has sensory issues and finds school overwhelming. She is very young, and if she does have issues they may be mild enough that she isn't setting off any alarms with providers.

I agree with the pp about the psychologist, and that if your instinct says something is up keep going. I think you should see a developmental-behavioral pediatrician at a clinic like this (my ds' eval included the DP, SLP, and a psychologist); they are more experienced in seeing subtle clues. They can give you a detailed evaluation and appropriate referrals.

[mommyofgb]

Farmer Beth: I have taken her to 2 different SLPs. Would it not be possible to pick up on a disorder at this age? I told the last one my specific concerns with her pronoun use, etc. and she just nodded her head as if that was all normal and said ''kids like this usually need some help with pronunciation and then they take off.'' Some days I want to just wait a little longer and see if she can catch up/gets it and then other days I think what an injustice if she really needs help I need to be her advocate and not wait. When did bring your child in for a diagnosis? Did they miss it at first?

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by mommyofgb 

Farmer Beth: I have taken her to 2 different SLPs. Would it not be possible to pick up on a disorder at this age? I told the last one my specific concerns with her pronoun use, etc. and she just nodded her head as if that was all normal and said ''kids like this usually need some help with pronunciation and then they take off.'' Some days I want to just wait a little longer and see if she can catch up/gets it and then other days I think what an injustice if she really needs help I need to be her advocate and not wait. When did bring your child in for a diagnosis? Did they miss it at first?

She's two. Two different SLP  have said to give it more time.

If something is off, it is very, very minor.

Some things (like Aspergers) cannot be dx'ed when children are very young because the early flags can all occur in typically developing children.  So I wouldn't say that those kids are missed, rather, that it isn't possible to tell the late bloomers from the kids with Aspergers when they are really little because they look the same.

It sounds like you want someone to tell you your kid is on the autism spectrum, and that is  a serious, heavy label that no one wants to lay on a kid who is a late bloomer.

Your DD may be a late bloomer. That's a good thing.  Keep working with her, keep her life interesting, but try to relax. This really might sort itself out.

A book you might like is "Quirky Kids: When to Worry and When NOT to Worry" by Klass.

[FarmerBeth]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

She's two. Two different SLP  have said to give it more time.

If something is off, it is very, very minor.

Some things (like Aspergers) cannot be dx'ed when children are very young because the early flags can all occur in typically developing children.  So I wouldn't say that those kids are missed, rather, that it isn't possible to tell the late bloomers from the kids with Aspergers when they are really little because they look the same.

It sounds like you want someone to tell you your kid is on the autism spectrum, and that is  a serious, heavy label that no one wants to lay on a kid who is a late bloomer.

Your DD may be a late bloomer. That's a good thing.  Keep working with her, keep her life interesting, but try to relax. This really might sort itself out.

A book you might like is "Quirky Kids: When to Worry and When NOT to Worry" by Klass.

Actually, I'm in agreement with PP, seeing that you had her assessed by two SLP's (I didn't know that previously).  To answer your question, both boys were assessed and neither received diagnoses until age five.  It's actually my son who is not on the spectrum but has a language disorder that your original post put me in mind of, and like your daughter, as a toddler the SLP wasn't sure it was a problem, yet.  Your DD could be just a late bloomer, but even if she's not, I wanted to let you know that my DS (age 7) made very rapid improvement after only a year of speech, and that his reading skills didn't fall behind over it.  I don't think she'll suffer if she needs help later.  I just thought it was important that if you were worried about speech you had her assessed by an SLP as pediatricians aren't always as aware.

One pointer that helped with my son's speech, which is easy to blend into normal family conversation and activities, is to model back the correct speech without correcting.  Try to make it sound as natural as possible.For example, (DD) "Are you done going pee" (You)"Did you say,'I'm done peeing"?) It's important to say it as if it's your daughter saying it because lots of kids (including those who will not develop any type of learning disabilities) can't turn the pronoun around to "I" if they hear "you" as the example.  Also, keeping up with preschool might help as the kids learn a lot of language and social skills off each other.  And take your time giving directions and speaking so she has time to absorb what's said.  It's a good communication habit with everyone to catch the other person's awareness with their name and your eyes, so I wouldn't much worry if she needs that from her teacher and from family.

If you're spending time together talking and you keep up communication with you child's teachers, there shouldn't be any harm in waiting things out for a while to see if she improves.  Then, closer to when school starts, if you still have concerns, you can revisit the matter so that you can be more comfortable about school starting.