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Sad news... (but new, happy update #129)

post #1 of 162
Thread Starter 

I lost one of the twins two days ago...  brokenheart.gif

 

DH, DS, and DSS and I were on vacation with my mother.  We'd rented a cottage near Lake Michigan and were just planning on sitting on the beach, eating good food, and chilling out for a few days.  I'd still been spotting and having weird pains, but I talked to the nurse practitioner at my midwife practice before I left, and she had said there's really no reason not to go; we weren't sure why I was having complications, but I'm so early that there's not much to be done anyways in the event of problems.  I figured a little R&R would be a good thing, and hopefully I'd get rested up and start to feel a little better.  I just haven't felt good since I had that flu about 2 weeks ago.

 

We got there, and everything was pretty much business as usual til the second day.  I had a big gush of fluid at about 6 pm.  Looking back, it was amniotic fluid, but I'd been having so much discharge that I sort of dismissed that thought.  But later that night I started bleeding more and had two small contractions.  I passed Baby A at about 2:30 am on the 19th.  

 

We went to the hospital and took the baby with us.  They checked to see if they could determine gender, but he (I'm just going to call it a he) was so small that they couldn't be sure.  They took little impressions of his feet and photos for us and put it all together in a memory box.

 

I had an ultrasound there, and Baby B appeared to be doing fine.  There was still a heartbeat and plenty of amniotic fluid.  My cervix was also closed, which was a good thing.  I didn't appear to be in imminent danger of losing the other baby, but the doctor said that the prognosis just isn't good.  I guess when you lose one and actually give birth to it, the chances for having a successful pregnancy with the second baby go way down.  I'd heard of vanishing twin syndrome (and was oddly worried about it since finding out I was pregnant with twins), but I've not really heard of losing and birthing one but not the other.

 

I'm on my way home now.  We have an appointment with my midwife and ob tomorrow, then they'll decide whether or not they still want me to keep my specialist appointment that I had already scheduled.  When I spoke to the nurse practitioner on the phone, she said that she has heard of a successful, full-term pregnancy after the loss of one baby, but we just have to be very careful about infection.  I'm also worried because the hospital doc said I wasn't likely to lose the placenta until after I gave birth to the other baby (whether that be sooner or later), but I'm pretty sure I lost one piece on each of the past two nights...

 

I feel so strange.  I'm so sad about losing Baby A, but grateful that Baby B seems ok.  But I don't want to get my hopes up.  Even if everything still looks okay at the appointment tomorrow, I know I'll spend the rest of the pregnancy paranoid.  My weird pains are gone, but there was really no pain at all from the birthing process - not at all like my first miscarriage.  I'm still spotting, too.  It's like just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  *sigh*  I hate being pregnant...  I wish there was some way to know if my other baby will be okay.

 

Sorry this turned out so long...  Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

 

 

post #2 of 162

Oh, mama, I'm so so sorry to hear this.

 

So many warm, squishy, loving hugs to you.

 

Have you given Baby A a name?

post #3 of 162

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry :(

post #4 of 162

oh diana, i am holding you and all of your babies so closely in my heart.

 

i am so sorry.

 

stay put, baby b.  please be ok.

 

love to you, mama.

post #5 of 162

I am so sorry for your loss and will certainly keep you in my thoughts and prayers for health of you and the 2nd baby.

post #6 of 162
Oh no! I am on tears reading this update. greensad.gif. I am sending you healing vibes and lots of healthy stay put vibes for baby b. So, so sorry for your loss mama.

g
post #7 of 162

I am so very sorry, that's devastating. Praying for Baby B to stay healthy!

post #8 of 162

I'm so sorry.  :(  You're in my thoughts.

post #9 of 162

I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of one of your babies, mama.  greensad.gif    We will certainly keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.

 

Take care my dear  hug.gif

post #10 of 162

I can't even imagine the pain and loss you are feeling, hugs and prayers for you and yours.

post #11 of 162

You are in my thoughts and prayers, Diana. I am so sorry that happened to you. grouphug.gif

post #12 of 162

 Sending love and positive thoughts to baby B. I hope you and your family are doing alright.

post #13 of 162

Oh no. I'm so sorry for your loss. How special that the hospital honored your baby's life in that way. I do know of one story---my friend was a twin and her mother lost her twin sister in the 2nd trimester and she went on to be born perfectly healthy. Hoping and praying for this outcome for baby B. hug2.gif

post #14 of 162

I saw this post from the front page, and feel like I'm crashing but here we go.

 

I am so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine what you must be feeling. But I do have a friend who was actually a triplet, and her mother lost one of the babies in the 2nd tri, and the other two went on just fine. Praying for you and Baby B. hug2.gif

post #15 of 162

I'm so sorry diana :(

post #16 of 162
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone. We are doing as well as can be expected, under the circumstances. I'm cautiously optimistic that Baby B will make it. Even though I'm still bleeding, it's nowhere near as much as a period or miscarriage, and I just felt the baby move a minute ago. Pray for a sticky baby!
post #17 of 162

I'm so sorry. I'll be keeping your family & especially Baby B in my thoughts.

post #18 of 162
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post #19 of 162
I am so sorry for you and your family. It is so difficult when you don't know...the pain of going through all the possible scenarios over and over is mind-numbing. I will pray for you, your family and the two little souls you created.

Thank you as well for the honour of allowing all of us to share in your journey. Even though I don't know you, there is something so special about being pregnant amongst a group of pregnant women.. So I sincerely hope and pray for the best possible outcome.

.
post #20 of 162

Diana I'm so sorry.  I hope baby B and you stay strong and healthy and have a long pregnancy ahead of you. I'm sorry for the loss of your little baby boy.candle.gif

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