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Sad news... (but new, happy update #129) - Page 6

post #101 of 162
Thread Starter 

Worst day ever... I'm still at the hospital, so this will be quick. I started to miscarry last night and lost a lot of blood. We came to the hospital around 8 am. I had an infection as well as needing a blood transfusion and fluids. Because my body was not handling everything well, and because I had physically been trying to miscarry, we decided to induce. My OB, who had been apalled yesterday when I had even brought it up (to tell him it wasn't an option invade he wanted to when we found the ruptured sac) as well as my midwife both agreed it was my best option. It was the most horrible thing I've ever had to do.

I delivered Baby Girl 4 hours layer. The placentas were fused, and my body has been trying to rid itself of the" dead" portion since I had Baby Boy. It was also likely the cause of the infection.

I still feel horrible and guilty. This isn't a decision anyone should ever have to make. I don't know how to deal with it, and all I can do is cry. I'm staying overnight at the hospital because of the transfusions, but will go home in the morning. I'm just heartbroken.

post #102 of 162
Quote:
Originally Posted by diana_of_the_dunes View Post

Worst day ever... I'm still at the hospital, so this will be quick. I started to miscarry last night and lost a lot of blood. We came to the hospital around 8 am. I had an infection as well as needing a blood transfusion and fluids. Because my body was not handling everything well, and because I had physically been trying to miscarry, we decided to induce. My OB, who had been apalled yesterday when I had even brought it up (to tell him it wasn't an option invade he wanted to when we found the ruptured sac) as well as my midwife both agreed it was my best option. It was the most horrible thing I've ever had to do.

I delivered Baby Girl 4 hours layer. The placentas were fused, and my body has been trying to rid itself of the" dead" portion since I had Baby Boy. It was also likely the cause of the infection.

I still feel horrible and guilty. This isn't a decision anyone should ever have to make. I don't know how to deal with it, and all I can do is cry. I'm staying overnight at the hospital because of the transfusions, but will go home in the morning. I'm just heartbroken.


Oh God, Diana, I'm just so sorry. hug2.gif This is so heartbreaking...losing a child (let alone two children) is the worst experience in the world. bawling.gif I'm just devastated for you and your precious babies. greensad.gif

Please, when you feel up to it, come to the loss boards...there are so many incredible women there who have helped me and others through so many bad days...and there will be many in the next weeks and months. greensad.gif I wish it wasn't true...believe me, I do. greensad.gif

May your babies rest in peace and may you find love and comfort (and eventually peace) surrounded by those who care for you. I'm thinking of you. I wish with all of my heart that things had turned out differently. greensad.gif

Claire
post #103 of 162
I am so, so, so sorry for your terrible loss. You and your little angels are in my prayers. Please let us know if we can help in any way.

Much love to you. I hope your physical recovery is quick.
post #104 of 162

My heart is just breaking for you, Diana.  Please take time for yourself to rest and regroup.

 

Much love.

post #105 of 162

diana, i don't have the words to say.  my heart is filled with sorrow.

 

i hope your hospital stay is short, so that you can go home and be with your family.

 

i'm so deeply sorry.

 

love to you.

post #106 of 162

i came to check for an update and am crying as i read your post.  i have no words, just hugs and support.  take care of yourself.

 

g

post #107 of 162

Oh nooooo :(  I'm so sorry, so sorry you've lost both of your sweet babies. How devastating! You and Baby Girl fought so hard for her to hold on. Your body was so strong but they were just too connected for her to come alone. There was nothing you could have done differently with the placentas being fused. I'm just so sad for you. I wish I could take your pain away. Holding you up in the light during this time. Please check in and let us know how you are. We're here for you!

post #108 of 162

I am so sorry that this happened, words cannot give any comfort good enough for you at this moment.  Its hard enough to lose one baby, let alone two. 

 

If its any peace of mind, just think that the babies must have loved each other so much already that they couldn't wait to unite...now you have two little guardian angels looking down on you.

 

Much love and hugs and prayers to you and your family during this difficult time.

post #109 of 162

I'd been checking in today hoping for good news, but afraid it wasn't when you didn't check in earlier. I'm so sorry.

post #110 of 162

Obviously there are just no words. This is so unfair, and I am so sorry. No one should ever have to make that decision. I'm so sorry.

post #111 of 162

Also thinking of you, and checking in....  hoping for better news.

 

hug.gif  I'm terribly sorry. Wishing you physical healing, quickly, and some for the grief, in time...

 

(Apologies for DDC crashing: this showed up in my subscriptions, and at first, I thought it was posted in a multiples thread - recognizing Diana from there.)

post #112 of 162

Wow, I'm lost for words.. I am sorry for what happened, Ijust really really hope that the second baby is healthy!!

post #113 of 162
Diana, I'm so, so, so sorry to hear this update. My heart aches for you and your family. I hope your body heals quickly and that you can at least get out of the hospital soon.
post #114 of 162

Diana I am so incredibly saddened to hear this, and deeply sorry for your losses.  There are no words, this is truly a tragedy.  Please know that I, we, are here to listen.  Please take all the time you need to heal physically and emotionally.  I wish I was there to give you a real hug.  hug2.gif

post #115 of 162

You and your family are still in my prayers. Much love to you, Diana, you were/are stronger and braver than I could have ever been given what you are going through. May you find healing and comfort in your own time/way. I, too, wish I was there to give you a hug hug2.gif

post #116 of 162

Oh hunny, I am so so sorry you have had to go through this. I hope your physical recover goes smooth and quick. I know the emotional part will take a while. No one should have to go through what you have. I am truly at a loss of words but know that you are in so many peoples thoughts and prayers.

post #117 of 162

I'm so very sorry for your losses candle.gifcandle.gif

post #118 of 162

Diana I am so, so sorry for the losses of both of your babies. I'm so sorry. hug2.gif

 

candle.gifcandle.gif

post #119 of 162

Oh Diana--my ddc buddy twice over now. . .I am so saddened to hear of your losses. There are no words I can offer that seem enough.  But please know that I am sending you all my love and my peace to you in the coming weeks and months as you heal from this. 

post #120 of 162

I am so sorry. Peace and love to you and your family as you grieve and move forward. Take good care of yourself. candle.gifcandle.gifheartbeat.gif

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