preschooler was potty trained? now not so much...HELP

[mamaprovides]

Kinda long...sorry...don't know what is helpful or not.

My son was on a wonderful road to potty training. Then my daughter was born and she started crawling then potty training came to a halt. Okay...fine. Then life went on...including potty training.

He is 3.25 years old. He has been out of diapers (except nighttime) and accident free for about two months now. Not a long time but for me it has been a blissful eternity.

In the last two weeks he has pooped and peed not on the toilet several times. (most of the accidents have happened during daddy time) I ask him what happened and he says, "I dunno, mama...just poop" or "I didn't pee because I was just born" (bored? no born...what does that mean?) I try explaining and showing my husband what the pee pee dance looks like.

We tried putting him back on the potty schedule and it ALWAYS ends in a fight. He's a big boy...he can do it...he doesn't have to go right now...mama, you 'spek (respect) me...

I don't know what to do.

Part of the problem if not the whole problem...

Daddy is in charge of bathtime. I have NO IDEA what goes on here. Apparently when I try to see the routine EVERYONE gets all kinds of cranky and I disrupt the routine...so I can't observe the routine. My husband gets frustrated and says "I don't know" to every question.

During bathtime, the 14 month old poops in the tub. Not once, not twice, about 5 times now. I say put her on the potty and wait. I say pull her from the tub early and put her on the potty OR just wait for the poop that is going to come anyway. (like clockwork, about 30 minutes after dinner) But my husband either disagrees, "forgets", or doesn't understand the options.

Bathtime is my me-time. And I have never been good at it...I just don't see it as fun so much as another chore...so the kids hate it...and this is a time honored, cherished daddy time.

but I'm sure that these poops in the toilet have something to do with my son deciding he doesn't have to be as careful.

please help me

I'm going crazy

these people are driving me crazy

[prancie]

I think that you wouldn't go wrong if you just did nothing.  I'm not sure you actually have a problem at this point.  Giv eit a little time.  It does sounds nice that they have that daddy time though. :-)

[mamaprovides]

Okay here is what I'm doing in the hopes of moving forward and for the sake of posterity I'm posting it.

My 1yr old is to wear a swim diaper when in the tub. Before she goes out the (hopefully clean) diaper will come off in order to clean her nibbly bits. My husband is gonna pretend pee isn't an issue (sterile, right).
Oh and we are sticking to the old wives' old (which is probably how it started) no one goes into the water until 45min after eating.

The 3 yr old is back on a schedule (begrudgingly) and if he stays dry for the day he gets a sticker on his calendar.

The adult in charge of the schedule is the one that cleans it up. Thus ensuring incentive to stay on schedule and restoring marital bliss.

So far so good...for me...my husband has cleaned the floor a couple times. My son seems in better spirits. The 1 yr old is just as happy.