Majority of my friend's have circumcised their sons.... - Page 2

[To-Fu]

Just a friendly reminder to please have care when using words like "mutilation" when describing the act of circumcision.  As the TCAC forum guidelines state:

It is our wish that The Case Against Circumcision be an informative and welcoming space for those who are new to the subject of circumcision. This is not a space to bash others. In an effort to minimize language which might alienate those seeking information, we are cautious about using pejorative terms such as abuse, barbarism, mutilation, etc. when routinely discussing circumcision. Let the facts speak for themselves.

I totally understand where the correlation comes from; we just want to be sure TCAC remains a place that is welcoming to folks all over the decision-making spectrum. 

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to get in touch!

Thanks for understanding. :)

[samstress]

Originally Posted by Dan Bollinger 

I understand your dilemma. Your friendships are important to you, but so are their sons' welfare. Your quandery is whether or not you should do an intervention. As interventions go, this is a mild one. It's not like you are going to kidnap the kid to protect him! It boils down to having the courage to give your friends information they don't have so they can make an informed decision. Although I'd say they don't have the right to make such a decision, in all practicality they do, at least for the time being until we make male genital cutting just as illegal as female genital cutting.

Approach your friends from the standpoint of having concern for their son. Give them a few points to throw a shadow of doubt on their decision, like, "Did you know? Most parents are saying no. The US circumcision rate has been dropping steadily for the past 30 years and is now 33%."  And, "Circumcised men are 4 times more likely to get erectile dysfunction." Or more to home, "Babies feel pain, as much or more pain than adults. Even with an anesthesia they'll feel pain," or "Circumcision is when pain and sex first meet. The trauma will be permanently imprinted on your baby boy," or "You wouldn't cut your daughter."   

A non-confrontational option is to sit them down in front of computer, laptop, or smartphone and walk them through the Circumcision Decision-Maker process. It will help them get clear on the REAL reason they want circumcision and then give them some expert advice. 

One reason parents circumcise is because they don't know how to care for an intact penis, which is laughable, since no special care is needed and a circumcision requires regular bandage changes for the open wound. The website has some great foreskin information pages including washing instructions.

Originally Posted by Dan Bollinger 

Circumcision--a euphemism for genital mutilation--is the permanent, painful removal of healthy, errogenous tissue with immediate and lifelong consequences. More than 100 American baby boys die each year from it. Circumcised men are 4-5 times more likely to be diagnosed with erectile dysfunction. It is illegal to cut girls, and rightly so. The federal law prohibits even a pinprick to extract a drop of blood, and circumcision is certainly far worse than that. So, this issue IS EVERYBODIES BUSINESS. More importantly, your son should have a say in how his body looks, works, and feels. 

dan-

just wanted to say that i found your words compelling.  i had previously posted above that it's none of my business whether my friends (or anyone else) circumcise their sons.  now i realize i was wrong.  

before our son was born, there was very little discussion and absolutely no research done about circumcision.  dh and i just both felt that circumcision was unnecessary (not to mention cruel and unusual).  so, when he was born and we were asked if he would be circumcised, we both immediately said, "NO".  we then got a big thumbs up and a "way to go" from one of the nurses in the room at the time (that felt good). 

the choice we made for our son was right for him (we believe) and for our family, however i really believed that what others do must be right for their families as well and who am i to interfere or try to inform.  you've made me reconsider that.  thanks for the suggestions of ways i could broach the subject with people in that situation and where to point them as well as the various facts i now have at my fingertips. 

you've changed this gal's mind.  thank you.

-sam

[Agatha_Ann]

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 





And, just to be clear, its really unlikely that your child will look different from most of his friends. Depending on where you live, the rates vary, but in 2009 the circ rate was only 32%. That means that currently there will be fewer boys in the locker room in 2020 that ARE cut than those who arent. So, even though many men still worry that their sons will look different from everyone else, that is really unlikely. Its more likely for a circumcised boy to be the odd guy out.

Are there statistics being reported that include the number of circumcisions outside of the hospital though? I love how the 32% looks and sounds, but it really isn't entirely accurate you know?
 

[mare54]

Some things are important enough to be EVERYONES business, so I don't agree.  For example, if you knew that a friend was abusing their child, would you just say it was none of your business?  I was an Early Childhood Teacher for over thirty years, and I always knew if I saw a case of this, I would be mandated to report it (whether I wanted to or not).  Because circumcision is not illegal, it's not a crime technically.  However, because it is still legal, doesn't make it right when done on helpless babies.  Sometimes you have to rise above what is or is not your business, and openly take a stand, when it involves harm to another human being (especially babies).  My personal opinion is that circumcision should be a choice given to an adult, just like any other cosmetic surgery.  This doesn't mean that it might never be indicated medically for under age boys, but I would make certain that it was actually "necessary" (like getting a second, third opinion...)    Circumcision is a surgery like any other, with many risks, and you don't find insurance willing to pay for un necessary surgeries, except this one.  I prefer to take the stand that  Genital Integrity is a right for all people, especially babies and children and no one has the right to violate this.  I want to see circumcision made illegal for babies and minors.

[mare54]

So fantastic to hear from Physicians on this subject!  I enjoy reading the information from DOC (doctors opposing circumcision), because it adds a whole new dimension to the discussion.  Thank you!!!!!!

[Polly Intactly]

Circumcision of infants without any medical reasons, the AAP even says it is a cosmetic procedure, thus UNNECESSARY Genital Cutting (male genital Mutilation) is EVERYONE'S BUSINESS!  If you say nothing - you are equally guilty of cutting that baby's penis as the doctor himself. Of course, if you do say something - do your best to save new babies around you - and the parents still cut up their baby boy anyway, at least you know you tried.  Until male genital mutilation is illegal like its female counterpart, WE MUST ALL work together to help save as many babies as we can!

Don't give up!  Start wearing some PRO INTACT shirts and making bumper stickers on your car (if you so choose). If people see that you are PROUD of your stance, they will begin to listen. If you hide behind your uncertainity... then how certain are you that it is wrong? (That would the Pro-Cutters view anyways)

I know if I say nothing.. then nothing will change.  If I say something to everyone and anyone ... Now, Imagine if you walked around your pregnant friend - EACH AND EVERY TIME, with a Pro-Intact shirt on.  Remember, all these mothers are "stockhome syndromed" into believing that male genital mutilation is the thing to do. They are brain washed. And, all their families and support groups are.  It takes a seed to make a tree grow.  Your shirt, your bumper stickered car, your custom iron on transfer pro-intact sling, your cloth grocery bags, your child's shirt... could be the seed.  that first year - that seed will grow into a sapling. Perhaps only one apple will fall and only one baby be saved. Now, there are two - you and that baby. Two trees later... then 4 ... then 8.

My bumper stickered car got all of my husband's friends (macho men) thnking and all of them researched circumcision.  Several proposed arguments for why it should be done to my husband, jokingly (?), but... I feel the seeds were planted. Perhaps, these macho men will save other babies. 

Make some shirts for yourself with some iron on transfers and some $3 Thsrits from walmart (you can download graphics @  http://www.flickr.com/photos/62185301@N04

[mare54]

I totally agree.  IF you say nothing, it is worse than being ignorant.  When people start to realize how lame their excuses are for cutting a newborn baby boys genitals, things will start to change.    I am in total agreement about circumcision being a human rights violation, and I can't understand what it is people are not seeing, when FGM is illegal, and circumcision is.  Duh..... human rights and laws should protect every baby, not only female babies.  I always say, what is wrong with this picture?  I am always amazed when someone sees the discrimination, and then goes on to still try to justify it!  It's 2011, and this kind of thing continues to be legal.