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For fun...you know you're the parent of a toddler if...

post #1 of 171
Thread Starter 

Okay, mamas/parents, let's have some fun.

 

You know you're the parent of a toddler if...

1.  The only fresh fruit you've eaten this summer is the squashed leftovers from your child's tray. 

2.  Your child has been introduced to the menstrual arts since you can't use the bathroom on your own anymore.

3.  You catch yourself saying "Mommy needs a drink now" even though your child's asleep.

4.  You can discuss the contents of your child's diaper with enthusiasm and true interest.

5.  You can recite "Go, Dog.  Go!" in your sleep.

6.  "Getting dressed to go out" means changing out of your p.j.s and putting on sweats.

7.  You have an immediate kinship with other toddler parents.

8.  Taking a bath on your own seems just a little lonely.

 

ETA:

9.  7:00 a.m. is "sleeping in."

10.  Going to bed early is much, much more exciting that staying up late.

 

And we're off...

post #2 of 171

1. You've read 14758746520 books today and none of them were longer than 10 pages...

2. You've ridden your bike around the block 10x and your toddler wants "just one more" (10 more times)

3. You play legos like all day long

4. There has already been 10 tantrums before lunch...

5. You are dying to get to Barnes & Noble to play with the trains already (your 15 min break LOL)

6. You haven't had a meal without said toddler on your lap in months...

7. You can not get her to go to bed for the life of you and milkies just no longer do the trick!

8. Naps become more of a choice than a requirement

9. You find yourself saying "No streaking in the park!" at least once a month

10. You suddenly have to kiss, hug, and nurse all the stuffed animals as well as your LO

post #3 of 171
1) Instead of speaking about yourself in the 1st person, you refer to yourself as mommy to everyone you come across, like baristas and car mechanics.

2) You have a running dialogue of the day's events, even if you are alone, and people look at you like your crazy as you talk to yourself in a sing songy voice.

3) Running out of "wet ones" is a catastrophe.

4) You have a baby potty in your car.
post #4 of 171

you know where EVERY public rest room is in the tri state area because "bathroom visiting" has become a new hobby during potty training.

You fight the other mom for one of the "car" grocery carts

you have a fresh pair of undies in your purse

you sing the ABC song when washing your hands ( and the toddler is not present at the time)

You FINALLY get to go someplace by yourself ( after your spouse sees the signs of mommy break down... ya know what they are ) and you realize you are listening and singing along to toddler music/dvds the whole way.

post #5 of 171

You have to start hiding things in order to not hear the whining and begging. I'm talking about things like toys they shouldn't play with because they need help since they're too complicated, shoes that they can't put on themselves, food that is too messy to carry around. LOL....ahhhh, I am at that age yet again with # 3. And here I thought I would be a grandma next time this age rolled around, lol. It's still hard to get used to having another toddler in the house.

post #6 of 171


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by caedenmomma View Post


 

2.  Your child has been introduced to the menstrual arts since you can't use the bathroom on your own anymore.

.

4.  You can discuss the contents of your child's diaper with enthusiasm and true interest.

 

6.  "Getting dressed to go out" means changing out of your p.j.s and putting on sweats.

 

8.  Taking a bath on your own seems just a little lonely.

 


I love these 4!!! Hilarious and SO TRUE!!

 

post #7 of 171

You say things like "We don't take our clothes off at church"

 

You find crumbs in your bra from the last time your toddler nursed after a snack

 

You apologize to strangers in public restrooms who get standing ovations

 

Your child isn't the only one in the house having tantrums

 

You sleep half as many hours as your single sister and feel fine while she complains about being tired

post #8 of 171

HAHAHHAHA! I love "You get dressed by changing out of your p.j.'s and putting on sweats" and "You say things like, 'We don't take our clothes off at church'". Those could not be more true!!!!! 

 

1) You have a tote bag that reminds you a little bit of Mary Poppins - books, training pants, fruits, nutcrackers, sunscreen, extra clothes, whatever. You name it, it's in your tiny bag.

 

2) You have long since given up on the idea of your own plate. Or your own bathroom. Or your own...... etc.

 

3) The first thing you do upon arrival anywhere is locate the bathroom and make sure it's quickly accessible for that "Mom! Potty!" moment.

 

4) You frequently repeat phrases like "Hands are not for hitting", "Night time is nap time", "Because we're a family and we love each other", etc. etc. etc.

 

5) The questions "Why" and "Why not" are burned into your brain.

 

 

post #9 of 171

You've had to clean applesauce out of marker lids.

post #10 of 171
Thread Starter 

You have eaten the applesauce out of marker lids.

post #11 of 171

* You wear swim goggles and funny hats around the house to keep the mood light

 

* You turn every request into a song (it works!)

 

* The 5 second rule of safely eating food off the flour is now 5 hrs

 

This is fun!  I'm sure I'll think of more.  Love the responses so far!

post #12 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandybutter View Post

* The 5 second rule of safely eating food off the flour is now 5 hrs
 


ROTFLMAO.gif  This is soooooooooo my house! 

 

OK, I'll play!

 

1. Your entire house becomes top-heavy from all of the child-proofing.  You swear that those top shelves are going to collapse any day from all of the weight....

 

2. You get so desperate for time to yourself--or time to cook!-- that you cave and let them play with questionable or uber-messy items (kitchen gadget drawer, anybody?)

 

3. You can name at least five different methods or recipes for lifting pee out of carpet. 

 

4. When you run errands alone, you still can't stop looking around for where the little stinker may have bolted off to....

 

5. You can't remember things you learned in college--like the 5 layers of Maslow's Hierarchy or a recitation of stanzas from the Rubbayat--but you can name at least 12 trains from Thomas the Tank Engine and sing along with the theme song. 

post #13 of 171

OH I have a doozie for ya

 

You have been to Lowes both inside to select a paint color and buy paint brushes tape etc and the garden center for potting soil all while wearing 3 sparkly stickers on your face ( one being a star between your eyebrows)

 

yes I did wild.gif

post #14 of 171
Quote:
1. Your entire house becomes top-heavy from all of the child-proofing.  You swear that those top shelves are going to collapse any day from all of the weight....

 

 ...and the bottom shelves are filled exclusively with toys and children's books.
 

 

post #15 of 171

You find sand in your house even though you don't live near a beach.

post #16 of 171

"Is that Poop or Peanut Butter" is a valid question when you see something on your toddlers hand, and you are not sure what Dad made for breakfast.

post #17 of 171

Your landlord hasn't painted in years, but your walls sport lovely new original artwork and it increases daily.

post #18 of 171

You are crouching on the floor collecting up the contents of your wallet (again) and someone "posts" a wrapped pantyliner down the back of your jeans.

post #19 of 171

you have a favorite show on Discovery Kids.

 

You know the best hits from Yo Gabba Gabba.

 

You haven't left the house in a spotless shirt in the last year.

 

You are the milk with someone's cookies. (ouch!)

post #20 of 171

A frequent sentence is "don't feed you (baby) brother crackers"

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