When my sister was 11 she was sexually assaulted by an elder at my father's church (my father was the minister there who was in his 50's. She never returned to church, and she got counseling, and seemingly did really well afterwards. She was really open about everything, and told the family immediately after it happened.
When she turned 14 my parents found out that she had been chatting online with a MUCH older man from California , (she lived on the east coast). We'll call him "Sean" They talked to her about how it was inappropriate for this guy to be chatting with her, ect. They put some parental controls on the computer, she agreed to stop talking to him, and that was that. Almost two years later, my stepmother was review phone bills and saw that there were a lot of phone calls that she was making to one number. She called the number, no answer. She asked my sister who it was, and my sister said it was a study friend from school. The number never showed up again on my sister's bill, so my stepmom stopped investigating.
Right after my sister turned 16 my parents went into her room early in the morning and there was someone in the shower and my sister was asleep in bed. My dad woke her up, and told her to get whoever was in the shower out, and meet them in the living room. My sister walked into the living room with a guy who was 39 years old. Long story short, my dad tried to hit him with a 2 liter Mountain Dew bottle, the police took the guy to jail, and my sister revealed that this was Sean from California. He had moved all the way across the country to be with rape my sister. Seriously, he was twice her age and had been grooming her since she was 14. My parents pressed charges, but my sister was at legal age of consent so all he got was a restraining order and a charge for trespassing. Then my stepmom found my sisters other phone. She had bought a prepaid phone and kept it hidden so she could call Sean without being caught.
Sean moved to Kentucky when my sister moved here to go to college. We found this out about six months after my sister had started dating him. My sister dated him for a few months, and then they broke up and now he is dating someone who is 19 (and he is now 41).
Yesterday my stepmom told me that my sister has a new boyfriend, and he graduated from the same high school that my DH graduated from- only 15 years earlier. So this guy is from DH's hometown and he is an old perve dating my little sister. He doesnt have a car, he lived with his mom until he was 38. I just cant understand. She is 18 and can do whatever she wants, but she is SO deceptive and SO determined to date guys that are 20 years her senior. She is very, very immature for 18 and has little in the way of social skills. She meets these guys through her gaming websites and clubs. Also, its not like these guys are providing a "father figure" to her. She is for sure the dominant one in the relationship. I feel like this is something that we are going to have to accept and get used to, but I cant help but be really really judgmental about it.
Eventually I feel like she is going to wind up marrying or having a kid with some guy who is way way older than her (my parents are in their 40s) and its going to be really weird at family events. She has "loved" both of these guys, and she will do anything for them (including loan money, drive them around, lie for/about them, and completely deceive her friends and family for these losers.) I dont know what to say to her, and she often treats my DH and I like we are little kids (like I said, super immature) because her boyfriend is SO much more mature and SO much older and knows SO much more than any of us do...which just proves to me that she has no business dating people that old.
I just dont know how to be around her and Im about to spend a week with her on vacation.