I wasn't sure if I should put this here or in the blended family section, so please tell me to move it if I need to!
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My boyfriend and I are trying to figure out the best way to tell his kids about our relationship (which is serious at this point). My daughter is 3 and already knows to the extent that she's seen us together and knows he spends the night sometimes. Her father is not involved in our lives, so I feel due to that and her age, she is easier to deal with when it comes to stuff like this.
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His kids are 8 (girl) and 6 (boy) and their mother is involved (and not very nice) about 40% of the time. We haven't told their mother about us either yet, though we're sure she is aware something is going on (he's from a small town). We're at the point where we want to tell his kids we're dating, but unsure how. I'm the first woman he's dated since his separation 2 years ago. Their mother has dated 2 or 3 people since then (and the kids knew), so they aren't unaware this could happen. We've all hung out in a group (I was introduced as a friend) several times (today will be the 4th time) and everyone gets along well. His daughter always asks us to stay, if my daughter can sleep over or when she can see us again and is affectionate towards me on her own (I tend to hang back and let the kids come to me). His son seems a little more indifferent, but he plays well with my daughter and engages in conversations with me. My boyfriend tells me he tends to be a loner, so his indifference may just be that. They ask questions about me and and my daughter when we're not around.
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So, what is the best way to let them know we're dating? What are some things to definitely NOT do? Should he talk to them alone or do we do it together? I've suggested that he ask them what they would think about spending more time with us, but I realize that may backfire if one of them says they don't care to! We'd like to get to the point where they're okay with my daughter and I sleeping over sometimes as the plan is for me to move in when my lease is up in April 2012. Any suggestions?
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Ally
