is this CIO?

[MadiMamacita]

I am currently on hour 2 of bedtime tonight. This is not normally how it goes. Usually bedtime takes 30 mins tops. Tonight, though, its 2 hours of "I need water" and "I don't have to go to bed" and "I want to go to the kitchen". Finally he told me "Go! Go!" so I left, and now he is crying in bed. I asked him if he wanted me to go or stay with him, and through tears he said "Go!" We don't believe in CIO and have never done it, but it seems like he doesn't want me there with him.. is this CIO? What would you do differently? Bedtime was preceded by his normal rituals..

[abiyhayil]

Did your little guy get to sl eep ok?

[crunchy_mommy]

Well I think if he told you to leave than it's his choice... assuming "Go" means he wanted you to leave (I know with some kids with limited vocabulary, this could mean other things...) So I don't really think that's CIO.

If DS is crying and my efforts to console him aren't helping -- or are making things worse -- I'll often ask him if he wants some space, and if he says yes, then I'll say something like, "OK, but I am right here if you need me," and stay close, or "Here, shake this [toy instrument] if you want me to come back." In your situation, if you left the room, I'd also keep the door open (if he was OK with that) and stay nearby, visible if possible but right around the corner if he didn't want to even see you. Make it clear that he can come to you or call to you, and make it easy for him to do so (which is why I suggest a bell or instrument to 'call' you back, because that might be easier than actually saying, "Mommy, come back now!"

[MadiMamacita]

He is extremely verbal. I have no doubts that GO meant that he wanted me to go. I told him I would come back if he needed me. I first left and left the door open and he was wailing "Close the door!!!!" so I shut it.

He was in there crying for like 10 minutes- by minute 2 he was just sort of making crying sounds every now and then, and he was quiet during minute 7, then got loud again when DH came home ( minute 10) and went in and he told him to go away too, but said he wanted his mama. we hung out and talked and picked up his toys for a bit then all went back to bed and he fell alseep just fine. Toddlers.. sheesh.

[tillymonster]

Mine is only 19mo but is having weird toddler moments like you described but she doesn't clearly say go, she will shove my hands away and even starts to throw thing. Oui vey we are working on that... How old is your DS? What was the issue? Perhaps overtired? There is a fine line when it comes to that and I've missed it a few times! Toddlers!