Sheesh, where do I start??? OK facts...I am a SAHM with a 4 year old girl and an infant son.
My 4 year old daughter is really pushing my buttons. She is defiant. That's the only description word that both DH and I can agree on to describe her. It is a constant power struggle in our house. She wants everything *her* way and on *her* timing.
Today I had a friend over and her two children. My daughter was the oldest child of the bunch by 1.5 years. She wouldn't share her toys (as is common whenever we have friends over). She hoarded her toys, hid in her room and did a lot of yelling. I was embarrassed, but gratefully this is a friend that I trust and she was very understanding of me and how hard it was for me. I mean I know that I cannot control my child. Later today just the two of us went to the store (my DD and myself) and she hit me square in the face. I flinched because this is not the first time this has happened. When I asked what was going on she said that she was trying to hit the air (great, so she lies too). This is a concrete example of her behaviors.
I am home with her all day everyday. It is hard for me to take her out as I cannot physically wrangle both her and the baby. It is absolutely unhealthy for us to stay home all of the time, but it seems to be the lesser of the evils. I am miserable here. I feel that I am constantly prepping her ("we have friends coming over and we will have to share....." or "when I let you know that it is time to go we need to go..." etc.) or holding boundaries ("yes, you can have 2 toys in the tub" and she dumps the whole bucket in or "no jumping on the bed (while I am nursing)"). And my efforts seem like a waste. It is as if she won't do anything I say without some kind of consequence or yelling. I hate it. I feel that I have to have threats or a nasty voice to get her to do anything.
I have tried telling her what I want (instead of what I don't want), I've tried time-ins, time-outs, I've tried kind voice, stern voice, firm voice. Help!
