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"I had a Sharpie. I was bored." (Kids say the darndest things) - Page 2

post #21 of 69

 During the flu outbreak a couple years ago my son (7th grader? 8th?) and I were talking in the car about how more than 50% of the students in his school were out sick.  I then went on to complement his wonderful immune system since he never gets sick.  Absolutely dead pan he says "must be all the boogers I ate as a child...."  Ewwwwwwwwwww

post #22 of 69

DD (26 months), while in the middle of a bad cold, asked me in frustration, "Mama, how glue get in my nose?" 


This morning, she was nursing happily, then suddenly unlatched, looked up at me, and said, "Wanna chocolate mama milk now." 





post #23 of 69

There was a commercial on the radio that explained how breastfeeding lowers your risk of getting diabetes and all sorts of  other things.  During most of the commercial the girls were arguing until the commercial stated all the health benefits.  Both girls stopped and whispered to each other.  Next thing I know I got a round of applause and whistle blowing, pats on the back and thank yous for breastfeeding them.  My oldest told me she was proud of my efforts.  Ha!

post #24 of 69


Originally Posted by Comtessa View Post

DD (26 months), while in the middle of a bad cold, asked me in frustration, "Mama, how glue get in my nose?" 


This morning, she was nursing happily, then suddenly unlatched, looked up at me, and said, "Wanna chocolate mama milk now." 





LOL! My DD1 is lactose intolerant so she drinks soymilk, sometimes chocolate. When I was pregnant with DD2 she asked if she would have that too. I told her that no, she would nurse. DD1 (also nursed until about 2) then requested we put chocolate soymilk in my boobs! LOL!


post #25 of 69

Today, I was putting my three-year-old in her carseat when she said "Mummy, can I have Miles' blanket on my knees? It's very cold." I put it on, and without skipping a beat she said "Also, can I have my window down? It's hot."

post #26 of 69

A new one from my toddler! 


DH and I were trying to make plans for the evening without DD's input.  DH said to me, "Should we get a M-O-V-I-E tonight, or try for a W-A-L-K to the P-L-A-Y-G-R-O-U-N-D?"  DD looked from one to the other and announced, "I wanna A-B-C-D!"


post #27 of 69

We were coming back from vacation, and I was commenting to my kids that their hair had gotten lighter because of all the time they'd spent swimming outdoors. Dd looked at my hair and said, "Well, your hair is lighter, but it's mostly because you've got a lot of gray hairs. But at least the hair on your legs is still dark!"

post #28 of 69

My dd weaned about six months ago. Recently, she's been asking to nurse again. The other day, she asked and I told her my milk is all gone now. She said "Go get more muks. Go buy some at Target."

post #29 of 69

Ooh, another one from DD yesterday - I was sewing, she was playing with my measuring tape.


"Mummy, come here, I want to measure you. You're..." (stretching out tape) "...six months!"


In her defence, we recently watched Mary Poppins.

post #30 of 69

Over the weekend, I told DS7 to come bring a toy to his room.  Totally dead pan he says.....not now mom....I'm training to be a ninja.  and he walked out.  


Once I regained myself, I look out in the yard and he's carrying his bike on his shoulders around the yard...... 

post #31 of 69

Yesterday was DS1's seventh birthday.  DH took the day off and we went to the aquarium.  We met another family there with two little girls.  It turned out one of them was six.  On hearing this, DS said, in a superior way, "I was once six".


My kids have been hearing reference to the US capitol city on the radio a lot this summer, with frustration in the air.  They have asked if we can visit 'Washington BC'.


(Watching a nature documentary)

DS2 "How will they get away from the creditors?"

DH "You mean like Bank of America"

DS2 "Yeah....creditors in the wild"

DH "Yeah"

Economics 101 at our house.


My middle son has a hard time with pronouncing the letter 'L'.  As a result he yells with glee, "I'm crapping, Mamma", when he applauds; when he is proud of his efforts to tidy, he will gladly tell you he's 'queening up'.


My favourite ever mis-pronunciation of a body part is 'squirt-um' (right next to the pea-nups).


Man, it's good to have a laugh sometimes, isn't it?!


post #32 of 69

My mother was telling my son that Jesus loved him so now whenever he's in trouble he tells me that Jesus did it.


I'll ask him "did you draw on my walls" and he'll say "no no momma, Jesus did it"


only odd thing is...he doesnt really talk but this he says clear as day

post #33 of 69

A few more from my kiddos:


This spring we had a freakish amount of June Bugs in our back yard. My four year old was playing outside and came in and said "I hate the April bugs." "Don't you mean June Bugs?" I asked. "No, April Bugs. It's April, not June." 



Another from my four year old "Mama you have lots of lines on your eyes." (Thank for pointing that one out, son...)



2 yo dd "Rawr! I'm a dinosaur! I'm going to wash my hands! Rawr!" and she walked over to her play kitchen roaring the whole way.

post #34 of 69

Last Sunday BuggaBoo was naked (of course) and playing with his scrotum.  He's been very interested in his testicles lately.  So he says, "Mommy, when I get to church I'm going to show my teacher this."  I replied with, "What, your testicle?"  He said, "Yeah, maybe she'll say, 'cool'."


A while ago I was putting a diaper on Doozer and BuggaBoo asked why.  I said, "Well, because she likes to pee everywhere so if I don't then I suffer the consequences."  He said, "Or the POOPequences!"


My sister asked BuggaBoo a question, he answered, and she asked, "Why?" just to get back at him.  He yells, "YOU DON'T SAY WHY TO ME!" and then calmly added, "Are you three?"  See, my MIL told him only three year olds ask why.


ETA:  He just gave me another one.  He just finished a big pile of blueberries.  He comes up to me and asks, "What does my breath feel like?"  He then proceeds to crouch down and breath on my shin.  I said, "OOooo, nice and warm!"  He replied, "No, Mommy, it feels like blueberries."  Ah, yes, of course.

Edited by Lazurii - 8/11/11 at 5:33pm
post #35 of 69

dd1 was examining my forehead and asked why i had so many stripes on it (ie. wrinkles).  she was quite upset that she didn't have stripes on her forehead.  i reassured her that she'd have plenty once she had kids. 

post #36 of 69

Yesterday I walked upstairs into the room where DH was working on his computer and DS was sitting on the bed playing Fruit Ninja on my iPhone.  DS is 5, but he has ASD and his language is generally pretty limited to the functional or else directly related to one of his obsessions.


Anyway, it really stank in there, so I said, "Whew!  Has someone been making farts up here?"  DS was totally engrossed in his game, but DH said, "None at all, why?"  I said, "Because it stinks!"  DS didn't even look up from what he was doing, but he suddenly said in a perfect, dramatic, movie-trailer voice: 


"Killed by a fart!"

post #37 of 69

I made 2 giant bowls of popcorn topped with nutritional yeast, butter, and a little salt one night a few weeks ago--DS1 "Mom FINALLY learned how to cook!"


DD, age 2, shoe shopping one late afternoon/evening, we come out of the shoe store "HEY...who turned the freakin lights out?!"


DS2  This morning  I was being a little crazy singing "I love bacon' to the tune of the oscar the grouch song....hey, i found nitrate free turkey bacon FINALLY and at a halfway decent like occasional treat price too!    He says very seriously "NO, you mean..."I love trash...anything dirty or dingy or dusty" (singing)

post #38 of 69

Harry, who is 4, said that he heard the baby (I'm pregnant) singing "Hallelujah, baby!!" in my belly ;)

post #39 of 69

DS1 (who will be 16 in September!) has a famous quote and story.  When he was around 3 1/2, he wanted to follow me into the bathroom.  Since I had to do something complicated, I said, "No, honey, mommy needs her privacy" and gently shut the door.  Commence business...about ten seconds later, he plowed through the door and very firmly announced "I AM YOUR PRIVACY!"  And indeed he was.


We also used to have a pussy willow tree (you know where this one's going).  We had lots of retired neighbors, too.  He gleefully announced, loudly, one day:  "Mom!  I climbed up the pussy!"  We moved, eventually...


At a recent family beach trip, our almost 4 year old nephew was in the bathroom pooping.  Since he is still new to the whole potty business and his parents were not around, I asked him if there was anything I could do to help him.  He yelled "Yeah!  You can shut the freakin' door!"  Nice.


ETA:  DH reminded me that the nephew's exact quote was "Yeah!  You can shut the freakin' door, dam*it!"  I forgot.

Edited by McGucks - 8/14/11 at 6:25am
post #40 of 69

Today we were hiking through Blanchard Springs Cavern, and we pass by a large formation where it is obvious a huge chunk of the middle broke off and slid time a long time ago. DS (22 months, and only says 10 or so words) goes "uh-oh" and points at it. My mom and I burst out laughing. From then on he points to all the other slides/broken formations and says "uh-oh" ROTFLMAO.gif

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