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"I had a Sharpie. I was bored." (Kids say the darndest things) - Page 3

post #41 of 69

When my son was about 8 years old I had him come into the ladies room with me at a department store. While I was in the stall he goes "mom I don't think we should shop here! This place is a rip off!"  "why?" "They're charging 25 cents for a napkin!" (the sanitary napkin machine!!) He says" Who would be dumb enough to pay for a napkin when they have paper towels right here for free?!"

post #42 of 69

[Background: we refer to going to the toilet as "throoming" in this household. As in, going to the 'throom.] Poor DD currently has a terrible UTI, and has been rather miserable for the past 24 hours. I was going to take her out to yum cha for lunch with some friends, but this morning she had a couple of accidents, and I didn't want her wetting herself at the restaurant and being miserable. She was disappointed, but we said she could stay home with DH and have pizza and watch The Princess and the Frog, so she cheered up. When our friends got here they were all like "Aww, is she not coming", and wishing to preserve DD's dignity, I said "No, she's feeling a bit sick". Whereupon DD brightened up for the first time that morning, and shouted out "I might throom at the restaurant, and it might go EVERYWHERE!" She had this really triumphant look. :p

 

Also, this morning our flatmate shaved off his beard while DD was at the doctor. When she got home I was changing the baby's nappy, and she burst in shrieking "K's face is WEIRD! I think it's ANOTHER K!" It took a bit of convincing her that it was the same guy. Hours later she was still stealing glances at him, then bursting into giggles and saying "K's very odd; he shaved his beard off! Very odd!"

post #43 of 69

On a fairly frequent basis when I get out of the shower and have not yet gotten dressed I get comments like "Oh mama you found your 'gina" or "Look mama you still have your butt" to which I always feel the need to respond "Yes, in the excitement of showering I managed not to lose my butt, thank GOODNESS".

post #44 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dazedstella View Post

On a fairly frequent basis when I get out of the shower and have not yet gotten dressed I get comments like "Oh mama you found your 'gina" or "Look mama you still have your butt" to which I always feel the need to respond "Yes, in the excitement of showering I managed not to lose my butt, thank GOODNESS".


LOL!  I love it when parents answer like this, it just makes it so much more fun.

 

post #45 of 69

When ElderSon was about 8 (he's 30 now), we got our 1st computer. No internet, he had set up a spreadsheet program, and was intently planning how he would spend a million dollars when he won the lottery. I was looking over his shoulder, amused at the piles of catalogs, columns of figures, when he looked up and said, "Mom, accounting is not a spectator sport."

post #46 of 69

Yesterday, the kids were playing Little Big Planet, and DS and I had this conversation:

DS: We're doing the terratortals!

Me: Terratortals... what's that?

DS: You know... when it teaches you stuff.

Me: Oh, tutorials!

DS: Yeah, terratorals... they're fun.

Me: Do they have one for pronunciation?

DS: What?

Me: Never mind.

 

Smokering, that's funny about the beard! My dad had a beard my whole childhood and so my sisters and I never saw the lower half of his face until we were in our twenties. My youngest sister still lived at home, but was out the night he shaved it. When mom heard her get up in the morning,s he called her into their room to look at him. Her first thought wasn't "Oh, dad shaved his beard." it was "Oh my God, mom's in bed with Uncle Alan!!"

 

ETA: I can't believe I forgot this one... this morning DH and I were talking in our room downstairs. Ds came to the door and asked if we were talking about something that we HAD been talking about a few moments earlier. I asked "Were you eavesdropping?" and he offendedly answered "No! I was listening from my room!"


Edited by Mummoth - 8/14/11 at 5:13pm
post #47 of 69

My Aunt & Uncle's baby died when she was almost 1.  About 2 yrs later they had another baby, and told her when she was older that they really needed to focus on having another baby after their first one died.  A couple nights later my aunt & uncle were in their room with the door closed, and my cousin knocked and asked "mom, are you guys focusing in there?"

 

When I was in junior high I had my friend over.  My younger brother, who was in grade school at the time came into my room and said something stupid.  My friend told him that he was so conceided.  To which he replied "no Im not, I never went to college."

 

 

 

 

post #48 of 69

When we go to visit my family, DH likes to take the kids(niece and nephews) out side to play. Our niece(6yo) and DH have a game where, she will climb up to DH's shoulders and he swings her around in circles and flips her, she starts climbing him again. She calls it "gymnastics training". lol.gif

post #49 of 69

A day before she turned 2 another parent was cooing and making baby talk to her. LIke she was an infant. My 4 year old poked her and turned to him said

 

"[His name] I don't like it when you touch me that way. Stop it."

 

And the woman stomped off as if she was offended. By my toddler's verbal skills.

post #50 of 69

Whenever our 20 month old boy walks into a room with its lights off at night, he says 'Mama!  Dark off!

post #51 of 69

newly 2 yo DD, while sitting on toilet: "I have penis!"

 

nooo, you're a girl - what do girls have?

 

"Vulvas."

 

Then, with a sly smile..."Girls have....penises!"

 

 

post #52 of 69

My dd (3) likes to point out all the time that I have breasts( she calls nipples)  and she doesn't, but will when she is older.

The other night before bed I gave her her vitamin and she says, ' Mama, someday I'll have big nipples like you and then I will give you the vitamins!'

 

We had seen the new Winnie the Pooh movie a few weeks ago and dd brought it up the other day, ' Mommy, remember when we saw the pee and the poo movie? I liked that one!'

 

She also sang the alphabet for the longest time, '... h, i, j, k, and a little pee...'

post #53 of 69

woops :)

post #54 of 69


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by leam811 View Post

newly 2 yo DD, while sitting on toilet: "I have penis!"

 

nooo, you're a girl - what do girls have?

 

"Vulvas."

 

Then, with a sly smile..."Girls have....penises!"

 

 


 

learn811, my barely 2yo and I had this conversation yesterday.

 

DD: I have vagina!  You have vagina?

Me:  Yes.

DD:  Daddy have vagina?

Me: Nope.

DD (thinks for a moment, then gets the biggest smile on her face like she knows the answer): Daddy have PEANUT BUTTER!

post #55 of 69

Last Christmas we were visiting family.  BuggaBoo wanted to nurse, but so did Doozer.  I didn't feel like nursing both of them at the same time so I was just nursing BuggaBoo.  Doozer was crying and upset and my BIL asked why.  I said she was jealous that her brother was nursing but she wasn't.  BuggaBoo popped off my breast and sang, "Peanut, peanut butter, and JEALOUS!" and went back to nursing.

post #56 of 69

You know you live in the city when 6 y.o. Benji asks, "Mama, how many dollars is a house?"  Then replies after my answer, "Wow!  You mean I have to be homeless and ask cars for money until I have THAT much?"

post #57 of 69

Okay, I had to join just to share this:

 

DS (age 5) woke me up early one morning to tell me his ear hurt. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me he had a piece of popcorn in there. Being a brilliant morning person, I said, "WHAT?" He went on to explain that he had put a piece in the other ear too, but that one fell out. "Why," I asked, "did you put POPCORN in your ears?" Totally straightfaced he said, "I wanted to see if it would get stuck."

post #58 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaraMama View Post
 
"Why," I asked, "did you put POPCORN in your ears?" Totally straightfaced he said, "I wanted to see if it would get stuck."

 
 

ROTFLMAO.gif  hammer.gif  Oh boy.  This is the reason I'm not excited about my little boy getting older - he's bound to do some of the exact same stuff!!

post #59 of 69

Yes, the weirdness increases as they get older. But so does the wonderfulness. Yesterday he brought me breakfast in bed. He warmed up a cinnamon roll in the microwave & brought it in to me as I was nursing DS#2. I think I'll keep him.

post #60 of 69
Just was looking at DS's baby book and saw these:

"Why do people have heads?"

(While in the grocery store, where I was staring at my choices and trying to decide what kind of hot dogs to buy for a group camping trip...we are vegetarians so he didn't know what they were):
"Are we going to buy some fingers?"

(At the pool) "But where do the lifeguards sleep?"
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