"I had a Sharpie. I was bored." (Kids say the darndest things) - Page 4

[abiyhayil]

3 y.o. DS "Mommy, soy sauce comes from brown ducks?'  (A few weeks after being told soy sauce is different from duck sauce)

[Veslemor]

We live next to a VA cemetary.  One morning, a funeral had bag pipes playing.  After the bagpipes, the 21 gun salute.  My four year old turns to me with a look of concern, and asks, "Mom?  Did they shoot the bagpipe?"

[beckwith]

We read a book that mentioned the game "Spin the Bottle."

Some time later, 3 yr. old daughter says to her little brother:  "Let's play Spin the Bottle!"

2 yr. old brother:  "Okay.  I'll be the bottle."

[Jenni1894]

Originally Posted by CaraMama 

Okay, I had to join just to share this:

DS (age 5) woke me up early one morning to tell me his ear hurt. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me he had a piece of popcorn in there. Being a brilliant morning person, I said, "WHAT?" He went on to explain that he had put a piece in the other ear too, but that one fell out. "Why," I asked, "did you put POPCORN in your ears?" Totally straightfaced he said, "I wanted to see if it would get stuck."

My son put a rice krispie in his ear for almost this same reason.  He said to me as I'm getting ready to take him to preschool.    Mom there's a rice krispie in my ear.   What, how did that happen.  With a smile he says I put it in there b/c I wanted to hear it talk (you know snap crackle pop).   I look, see nothing.  Call DH and see what he suggests......he said to try and get it out.   Flashlight tweezers.   Well that's great, but I can't see it and I don't want to go poking around a 4 year old's ear with a pair of tweezers.  So i call the pedi b/c at this point, I'm certain it's way stuck in there.   I explain to DS that this is serious and now he's going to have to miss school b/c we have to go to the pedi to get it out.  He's fine and keeps shaking his head b/c he says he can hear it moving around in there.    Off I go w/my baby and ds to the pedi.   Who looks and doesn't see it.   But he found a big ball of wax, which he removed.   We figure he put the krispie in his ear, it fell out but dislodged the wax and that was what he heard moving in his ear.  

[Diyabolo]

Ok, so this a little rude but completely by accident! A little background: My native tongue is Arabic which is what I speak with DD. The Arabic speakers on here should really appreciate this!

DD (now 26 months but at the time 22 months or so) in trying to say "Noss Kom" (Short sleeve in Arabic) pronounced it for a couple of months "Koss Om" which means "Mother F**cker" in Arabic.  It was really hilarious when she would just walk around and point at people's short sleeves: "Koss Om Mama," "Koss Om Baba," "Koss Om Khalo." She really wanted to say "Mama's short sleeve" etc. but was actually saying "F*ck You Mama"  etc. No matter how much I tried to model the correct pronunciation, she kept on going. Now, at 26 months, she's finally got it right :)

[iheartwren]

Grandma asked DD : " What is your favorite thing about your new baby brother?"  Her reply: " His blue eyes and his penis " :)

[Angelorum]

My just turned 2 yo ds has been singing a very abbreviated version of the alphabet lately, it goes like this:

A B C D X-ah Y, now-ah won't you sing-ah me!

[mamacolleen]

These are hilarious!

We were eating in a restaurant when DD was about 20 months when I happened to look under her highchair and comment on the mess of dropped food that was there. She looked down at it and then said, totally nonchalantly, "the birds will eat it".

At around the same age, some way too early morning, DH and I were still in bed trying to ignore the fact that DD was wandering around the bedroom fully awake when we distinctly heard her say "f*cking tired" several times in a row. She wouldn't repeat it when we asked her to.

The other day DD, now 2, was sucking on my knee. We had this conversation:

Me: Are you kissing or biting me?

DD (laughing): I'm eating your leg!

Me (mock horror): No! Don't eat my leg! How will I walk after?

DD (deadpan): You can hop on the other foot.

She has also taken to saying "Thanks for dinner guys" when she sits down to eat.

[Stephenie]

We were at the store the other day and there were a ton of birds in the parking lot as we walked in. As we walked out, my son, who's four said "Those birds are still around. I can smell them," "Smell them? What do they smell like?" I asked. He thought a moment and said "Sausage."