My are still a bit younger but they are definately heading in that direction. My girls are 12 and my son is 10. I absolutely loved the baby stages, the toddler and the childhood stages. When my girls turned 9 it ALL changed. We had just moved to a new part of the country so it was tough on all of us but one of my girls turned into something I really didnt have the presence of mind to cope with. Her moodiness was extraordinary! I did start to feel like I didnt like her very much. The thing is that Ive also come to a stage in my life where I like my space, or I need my headspace to work thru my own crazy thoughts and feelings about where life has taken me. However, what works for us... so far... is similar to a pp-er who said taking their age into consideration. I think about my girls and how I went thru the same things. I take time to talk to them alot. I will drop everything if they need me just to listen. Sometimes they wont come to me about it, Ill just see them going thru something and Ill say 'Come on, lets go sit somewhere quiet.' Im still mum, but I see my role changing. I almost didnt catch it at first. I noticed them wanting to do things without me! They were suddenly embarrassed by me! I used to be allowed to sing in the supermarket and it was fun when I danced with them, now Im just an embarrassment to them, lol. I didnt see that coming. My role is changing, the way they need me is changing. I think when I got to their age (12) my mom decided I didnt need the same sort of guidance I needed as a young child and she just let me sort of run wild. I see my girls at a trasition stage, they still need my guidance, even if they dont think so.
I must admit, I dont have all those warm and fuzzy feelings I used to about my kids. I am watching them grow up and they do make me proud a lot of the time. I see myself as not just someone in their life, I still see myself as a role model, as someone they need to help them thru this, I try to be very patient most of the time these days, but I also see the need to be firm with them. I think at 13 there's still time to change your perspective and letting go of those negative associations can just be part of a process of getting yourself where you want to be with your son, its not too late. I felt that way too for a short while until I did change myself. Sometimes you have to intentionally 'put on' patience and love, even with our kids, I think. It is easy to just be very annoyed with them (VERY easy, lol) and it can be harder work trying to see the world from their perspective, but its not too late.