butterfly, now, I am not saying life isn't hard here, but if you reframe some of what you think is hard you might have a different perspective. For example, yes, you did pick your spouse. Don't blame yourself for it, but see it as a choice you made . . .not one handed to you. Ditto for ultimately being single (which could be a very good thing, I am guessing for you), and also for homeschooling. These are all choices. Again, this is not so that you BLAME yourself in any way, but to see that you are not powerless . . .that things are not happening "to" you, but you have a choice. This is true of being low-income, too . . .again, this may be so that you could hs your children instead of put them in school and do things to further your career. I am not even saying that this would be the better thing-- no way. Many times it IS better to be low-income with your kids vs. away and in some demanding career. Again, though, this can help you see you are making your life vs. being a victim of it.
I do think that for most of us, our families can really impact us. We can get away from bad situations eventually, but for others that have family as a built-in support system, this means that those without it (who've never had one), then what? Sure, we can make friends and friends are great, but in cases that you've described re: good support system, rarely are friends a substitute for family. This is where I think you have definitely gotten the short-end of the stick on many levels (not just childhood but now). I have come to find that the bad things (in which I truly did not have a choice) really have not made me a better person. They have made me have to work harder. . .and I don't think that's a good thing.
For me....my life has always been hard or a struggle. It seems like it never gets easier. I sometimes wonder if there's a light at the end of my tunnel. The older I get, the more I question God and how he helps his children. I've seen some people have great families, have lots of help, great jobs, wonderful spouses. It seems like their life flowed easily. I'm sure there were bumps in the road, but it's been the exact opposite of mine.
I don't expect life to be easy, but I'd like to be cut some slack once in a blue moon. From living with a drunk father and a mother who never cared much for me, marrying young to someone who didn't care, being a single parent with no support system, homeschooling my kids, being low income..........life is hard. I know I didn't pick my folks, but I did pick the ex-spouse and I have to own that.
I remember going back to church awhile back and all these people were saying God is good etc.......I felt like I couldn't say it. I felt like it was a lie. Maybe life and God has been good to them, but never to me. I never went back. I've always felt like I was the one forgotten or left behind.
I keep telling myself when the kids are done with their schooling (about 5 more years) life will be better and easier. I sure hope so. Even though I don't believe in former lives, I sometimes wonder if I'm being punished for something in the past. No matter what it never gets easier or better. There's always one setback after another.
Do I think life is hard? For me.......yes.