Major meltdown tonight. DS decided that we were not to make any more babies because our house isn't big enough for another - sadly, he's actually right but I pointed out we were planning to move into a bigger house in a few years anyway, so he insisted we should wait until the move. When I explained I might be too old for another baby at that time he suggested we could just as well be grandparents right away and he could make a baby with DD. Meltdown occurred when I explained he wasn't allowed, no not even when they were grownups, no not even if there were no other woman ever he wanted to make a baby with. This took a while, however compared to the death fears meltdowns for the last couple of years this one was a piece of cake - thanks to loracx I know now how to free him from worrying about things he isn't old enough to worry about, by telling him sternly he wasn't to even think about making babies for at least another ten years, after he'd been to school and to university and had a paid job.
I do not know what the connection of those wild worries to giftedness is, only that whenever I tell these stories IRL to other parents I usually draw a blank.
Apart from still being much more tantrumy and whiny than I would expect an almost 5yo who looks six and sounds seven to be (and still mouthing everything in sight), he is actually back to his little conversational and interesting self that he used to be before our ASD scare this winter. No more aggressive explosions. No more hair-pulling or tics. He will, from time to time, follow directions! We get asked to playdates again. He is being a kind and thoughtful brother to DD, hardly ever yelling at her or hitting her, showing her stuff, teaching her how to bang on the piano or the drums...it is really heartwarming to see how they are really beginning to enjoy each other. I am so looking forward to our vacation when we will be spending so much time together as a family seeing and learning new things.
He did some days of music day camp at the local Bach festival and loved it, though as expected, the stuff he was most interested in were the handcrafting of instruments, the guided tour of the historic organ (lots of organ mechanics drawing resulting) and the music-o-meter made from concentric paper rings thumbtacked together to show whether a musical pice was slow or fast, high or low, sad or happy....DH says that in our not-so-serious parenting contest trying to turn him into either a technician/engineer/visual artist or a musician/linguist/literature lover he is definitely winning out, but pointed out that I have another chance with DD, who really reacts amazingly to music, looks more coordinated bangning on the glockenspiel than DS looked at three and LOVES books - well the fiction/non-fiction divide isn't really there yet in th books for this age group...with DS I have all but given up on fiction. However, he is probably going to start violin lessons in fall and I am planning to send him to the village children's choir, too. Again and again, i find that I cannot teach him music or languages, but he learns very well whatever DH has to teach him in the science/engineering/drawing department. they had a blast launching the DIY rocket I gave DH for his birthday in the fields next to my parents' house!
He is slated to start the pullout K program at his preschool in fall, as recommended by the teachers. Another indication that for the moment, we do not need to worry about his behaviour. Also means that I have to get serious about getting my ducks in a row for elementary school choices, starting in first grade where I live. Might be a more pleasant chore now that I do not have to worry so much.
DD is so different to the way DS was at the age, it is really driving it home that he was somewhat delayed in his first year. Sitting, standing, talking, waving, pointing, playing with other kids...it's all there in a way it was a long time coming with DS at the time (oh, but how I wish she'd eat the way he did, instead of reversing to almost full-time nursing at the moment...). Well DS' talking at least took off fast after a year. I do hope she takes off soon, I can't wait to actually have a conversation with her.