I hope there are some people left on this forum that can help me out with this. I see these two terms thrown around together a lot and yet to me they are not the same.
I have read Unconditional Parenting and to me, it does not seem like Alfie Kohn is saying that we need to live with our children "consensually" (although he does advocate seeking consensus if possible). He does say that we should try not to say "no" too often, that we should not punish our children when they misbehave and that, conversely, we should not reward or praise them for "good" behaviour. And we should try to control our children's actions less. But he also acknowledges that parents are there to guide their children and sometimes, we really do know what is best for them and we need to steer them in that direction.
One example he gives was once, at his son's bedtime, his son didn't want to go upstairs to bed, so Alfie Kohn had to pick him up and take him upstairs to bed. At the top of the stairs, the son cried because he wanted to climb the stairs himself, so Alfie Kohn took his son back downstairs so that his son could climb the stairs himself.
My question is, is this the same as what is know as "consensual living" or would consensual living take it once step further and let the kid stay up as long as he wanted to every night? What other difference are there between Unconditional Parenting and Consensual Living?