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Tell me it gets better, please! High needs infant 3.5 months old now. - Page 2

post #21 of 25

oh, it gets better!  it gets better!!!!!

hug2.gif

dd was a screamer.  it was so awful.  nothing seemed to help-- i even went on a total elimination diet, and ate sweet potatoes and turkey for months.  it didn't help either. 

it improved somewhat when she could crawl and sit, around 6 + months... then around 10 months when she began to walk (and was frustrated but distracted) and now at two, she's awesome and mostly happy.  i have read that it's an indication of a bright child, all that screaming *(but maybe we just need to tell ourselves that, i don't know.  dd is pretty bright, fwiw)

and it didn't kill the urge for us to have another one.  this time, if this child is anything like that, i plan to:

get earplugs/headphone things.  it destroyed me to hear her scream, which she did even in arms, so i will just save myself from that. 

use the white noise machine- it worked a little

take all the help i can get.  if anybody offers i am taking them up on it.  i am not too proud at this point to just flat out ask somebody to come and do x for us.  no shame.

 

post #22 of 25

It does get better, but (for us at least) very slowly.  And be prepared for your HN infant to be a HN toddler/child too - though at least they usually stop the screaming *all* the time thing...

 

DD1 was like that - I think she just hated being a baby.  She was utterly distraught for the first year or so of her life - was never happy, couldn't sleep, feeding difficulties, screamed and cried what felt like all the time.  But gradually, as she gained in independence, she became slightly better.  She was *driven* - reaching all physical milestones very early - crawling at 4 months, walking at 9 and then running a couple of weeks later, walking up and down stairs before 1 etc.  Signing also helped immensely since because she was so focused on the physical stuff she was a later than average talker, but at 15 months I remember counting over 150 signs that she knew, so at least she had a reliable way to communicate with us.  And when she did start talking she took off overnight and hasn't stopped since! 

 

Advice from the trenches:

- Let the housework go as much as you can

- Get as much sleep as you possibly can - however that needs to happen

- Don't feel bad about putting the baby down to do essentials 

- Try not to hold yourself to the same standards as other mums (this might be a bit easier for you since you already have one kid, so know what it's like to parent a "normal" baby - what you're dealing with is completely different from the normal baby experience, as you know)

 

I wasn't very good at doing any of the above, so I ended up pretty traumatised from DD1's early years, but these are the things I would tell myself if I could go back - oh and ASK FOR HELP!!! Don't feel guilty that you need help - a regular baby is hard enough work, but a HN baby is enough to exhaust 4 adults at one time! (Ask me how I know!!)

 

I've also heard that colicky/HN babies often turn out to be brighter than average and I think that's probably true for DD1 - so that's something to hang on to as a consolation I guess... They are certainly very *intense* people, and that can be a good thing as they get older - They love you intensely, they get passionate about their interests - makes them very rewarding and interesting to be around.

 

:hug and GL

post #23 of 25
Thread Starter 

thank you, wise ladies!

 

i will say that if i can somehow get the rooms together to vacuum, alex is very comforted by the vacuum only if i am swaddling him in the moby. he instantly calms. but if he is on the bed, then he screams like im trying to kill him. its nice those days when i can have everything up off the floor and take out the vacuum and strap on the moby... if i can get all of that done, then we are good for the next 30 minutes wandering though the house vacuuming. ahhhhh clean house and happy baby all at once. BLISS!

 

he also loves playgroup so i make a point of going if it doesnt interrupt sleep for him. the ladies at playgroup all are under the impression that he is a happy smiley baby all the time. biglaugh.gif i let them live with the delusion mainly because its nice to feel like a mommy with a normal baby Sheepish.gif i feel so brilliant and peaceful on those days. 

 

i cant wait until he can tell me his thoughts and walk and do what he wants. <3 he really is an amazing kiddo. 

 

 

 

 

post #24 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by geekgolightly View Post

he also loves playgroup so i make a point of going if it doesnt interrupt sleep for him.

keep an eye on this. he might be the social one. i need to go be by myself to recharge. dd needs people. if dd is not feeling well - but not sick i take her out and she is a whole different child. has always been since she was a baby. cranky - take her to the grocery store where the clerks and shoppers oh and ah over her and she is in paradise. even when dd was really sick as a toddler with the stomach flu - she'd rather sit on the front porch than lay in bed inside the house. 

 

so perhaps he might be that way. 

 

as others have pointed out - the best way of taking care of him is to take care of yourself. 
 

 

post #25 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post

keep an eye on this. he might be the social one. i need to go be by myself to recharge. dd needs people. if dd is not feeling well - but not sick i take her out and she is a whole different child. has always been since she was a baby. cranky - take her to the grocery store where the clerks and shoppers oh and ah over her and she is in paradise. even when dd was really sick as a toddler with the stomach flu - she'd rather sit on the front porch than lay in bed inside the house. 

so perhaps he might be that way. 

as others have pointed out - the best way of taking care of him is to take care of yourself. 

 

My oldest DS was and still is like this...Mr. Social, and DS2 is the same way. It's hard on me, the introvert, but it keeps me from losing my mind to take them out. DD is not as dependent on socail interaction to be happy.
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