We're nearly done with our wait for our foster son to be adoptable by us- yahoo! He's been with us for 15 months and is now nearly 5. He's stabilizing, as are we. The birth mother has an appeal goint thorough it's courses that should be over within a month or two (99% sure in our favor) and the birth father has been awol for nearly a year. No visits or contact with anyone for a year for a variety of reasons.
My post is for two reasons:
1. Name change: he has an online presence created by his birth mother. We've left it alone in order to monitor her activities. We figure we can call the authorities if his page gets a large number of hits and becomes an online sensation. However, we're eager to change his name once we adopt him so that she has a more difficult time finding him. He's resistant to this and I feel evil when I push him at all. The other day I pointed out that most children in families have the same last name as their siblings (our older child is adopted and has a hyphenated last name). He said nothing and the atmosphere in the car felt heavy. Anyone else have stories or advice on changing names of older children?
2. Local run-ins with relatives: We met another relative randomly the other day in the city. This person called to him and he thought she was her mother. I clarified who she was and told him. I said nice to meet you before continuing on our way. This family has a lot of drama (police action and otherwise), so we've dropped trying to connect with anyone. I guess I'm just unsure if there's anything else I should do about these random run-ins with cousins and aunts. No one is asking for more than I give (i.e. a hello) and he's not running up to hug them. Is there anything else I should be doing in my approach with him? I asked him if he wanted to talk about it and encouraged him to ask me any questions, but he's not interested. Should I whip out my camera phone for posterity pictures??! Ok, that was a joke, I think.