Do you know right away if therapist is not good match?

[bea694]

I took a really big leap today in meeting with a therapist.  I've been mildly depressed and fairly anxious my whole life, but my anxiety has reached new heights since the birth of my last child six months ago.  Anyway, I really did not feel a good connection with the therapist at all from first second we met.  After she did my intake questions, she asked me what I wanted to get out of therapy.  I told her a few things, (such as tools for managing my acute nighttime anxiety, etc.), and then just spent the rest of the visit feeling awkward and trying to come up with things to say, because she was just staring at me.  I felt like I needed to do or say something to fill the time, and I felt paralyzed.  (One of the issues I need help with is social anxiety, so the visit really was torture).   Maybe it's just because I'm new to therapy, but is this normal for a first visit?  Other than the fact that I have an appointment with the psychiatrist at that office next month for possible meds, I honestly feel no motivation to go back again, and in fact, I do not want to.  I guess I just feel like I took a big step, and feel deflated about how it went.  Maybe I have incorrect expectations?  Anyway, I appreciate if you read this far and can offer any advice.  Thanks!

[philomom]

If you don't "click" after three sessions cut bait and try someone else. I've used therapy successfully three times in my life during some major life crisis..... a good therapist sometimes tears your down and spills your guts in order to help you sort out bad thinking or bad behavior you've gotten yourself into. Trust is crucial for the process.

[bea694]

Thanks, Philomom.  I feel ready to cut bait right now, but that may say more about my own personality issues than anything else.  Maybe I should keep the next appointment and see if I feel any better about it.  I guess I was just sort of expecting some type of "chemistry," but perhaps that's unrealistic.  Maybe staring and not saying anything serves some higher purpose, but it was excruciating for me.