I am glad your son got you and you got your very special son. I understand that you and your husband are grieving. I can tell you after my grieving experience (a very different one) that we as humans, are so adaptable and we are so able to see the sense and the good in all our experiences if we allow time to do its magic. I wish and am sure that you will adjust to your new situation fast and that you will get to hold your baby boy soon.
He is adorable BTW!