What is your #1 homeschooling concern?

[Mizelenius]

If there is already a thread like this, please direct me to it!

I thought we could all post our TOP concern regarding homeschooling.  Could be to vent or to see if anyone has solutions for you!

[Mizelenius]

My #1 concern is finding more friends for my girls that they can see on a regular basis in an unstructured way.

No real luck!  I could easily get them into tons of structured activities, but have found that while they make friends quickly there, the friendships do not translate to beyond the activities themselves. 

We will be joining a co-op this fall but it is far.  All of the local ones are very heavily fundamentalist Christian-based, and we do not fit in there. 

[AAK]

My #1 concern is similar to yours!  We do happen to have a small circle of friends for regular old playdates.  All of the homeschoolers in that group though are the same age as my middle child.  However, my oldest is starting to want the constant interaction of people her own age.  She was complaining to me yesterday about the creepy people that come to the hs fieldtrips (I have to agree with her too) and how she wants more friends, and would really like a close friend who also homeschools.  

Actually, she came yesterday to me thinking about returning to ps--except she doesn't want our local school, she wants the "alternative learning experience" school (also ps).  I offered to try to get her in that school--back in January.  Now, of course, there is a wait list a mile long.  I hope that it is a phase (her desire) and that I can find a way to round up some more social opps for her.  Perhaps monthy social gatherings for 10-14 yr olds.  Perhaps without all the parents all the time.  I am going to try to organize this.  I know that the parents will need to meet each other and me; I just don't want the parents to be hovering--doesn't really feel like a social opp this way.

Amy

[MommaCrystal]

My biggest concern would be keeping up my own motivation.  My kids have plenty of friends, both homeschooled and not.  Pretty much the same friends they'd have if the went to school.  But I go through patches where I'm really motivated and the kids benefit and then I go through times when I'd really like to be doing other things - with and without them.  I need to be more consistent.

[kristinb]

Originally Posted by MommaCrystal 

My biggest concern would be keeping up my own motivation.  My kids have plenty of friends, both homeschooled and not.  Pretty much the same friends they'd have if the went to school.  But I go through patches where I'm really motivated and the kids benefit and then I go through times when I'd really like to be doing other things - with and without them.  I need to be more consistent.

This!  This is exactly my biggest concern. :-)

[onlyzombiecat]

My biggest concern is that my dd is a bit too lazy or maybe maybe I am missing some way to help her learn/be motivated that someone who has worked with many different kinds of kids would know.

[zebra15]

THIS!!
 

Originally Posted by AAK 

My #1 concern is similar to yours!  We do happen to have a small circle of friends for regular old playdates.  All of the homeschoolers in that group though are the same age as my middle child.  However, my oldest is starting to want the constant interaction of people her own age.  She was complaining to me yesterday about the creepy people that come to the hs fieldtrips (I have to agree with her too) and how she wants more friends, and would really like a close friend who also homeschools.  

Actually, she came yesterday to me thinking about returning to ps--except she doesn't want our local school, she wants the "alternative learning experience" school (also ps).  I offered to try to get her in that school--back in January.  Now, of course, there is a wait list a mile long.  I hope that it is a phase (her desire) and that I can find a way to round up some more social opps for her.  Perhaps monthy social gatherings for 10-14 yr olds.  Perhaps without all the parents all the time.  I am going to try to organize this.  I know that the parents will need to meet each other and me; I just don't want the parents to be hovering--doesn't really feel like a social opp this way.

Amy

[kittywitty]

Finding friends for my kids. We are very isolated.

[Lisette]

same here. My biggest concern is creating opportunities for my dd to meet and spend time with other girls her age. We signed up for 6 weeks at various summer camps this year and it has been great. Hopefully that will satisfy her for a while and we can start the school year off to a good start. I fully realize that homeschooling comes with disadvantages as well as advantages, and this whole friend thing is definitely a challenge.

I made an effort to exchange phone numbers with a couple moms on my son's soccer team and a nice family we met at swimming lessons. And we just had a playdate with a girl from her dance class. I need to keep up with this and call people more often. I don't like being responsible for my kids social life!!!

[SweetSilver]

Personality clashes.  I worry sometimes that my relationship with my kids might get in the way of their desire to homeschool.  The girls are young, 4.5 and 6.5, and fully on board with homeschooling.  We have the usually troubles around the house, fights with me, fights with each other.  (We are unschoolers, so we don't have the table-time struggles others might have.  These are just plain old clashes about everyday things.)  I try really hard every day to not lose my cool when things go awry, to try to set an example on how to deal with tough situations, to be the adult, but I fail at this sometimes.  The girls fight with each other.  I think this can be a valuable lesson, but I know firsthand how stressful this kind of relationship can be.  They are at other times best friends and staunch allies.  

     I don't worry about friends anymore, though I used to.  I used to worry about "successful homeschooling".  Sometimes I see blogs about other homeschoolers, what they are doing, and I worry that I'm not doing enough.  Then I look and see that usually this family has kids much older than mine and homeschooling possibly looked much different at the beginning.

     OOPS!  That was more than #1!!!  I guess what my concerns are has changed and will change again.  Good luck to all!

[4evermom]

Friends and finances.

All the older kids stopped coming to the weekly parkdays last year so ds was the oldest with only one kid close in age.  In addition to the lack of satisfying friendship possibilities, the dynamics of all the kids being younger means the parents keep their kids closer and they have less freedom to go off in the woods and invent games as they had the year before.  There aren't any available kids in the neighborhood, either.  And his "best" friend that we exchanged playdates with for two years lost interest in getting together.  So we are going through a serious dry spell and I'm hoping more older kids will come to the park this year.

Financially, things have been difficult because dh's employment has been intermittent over the years.  It's hard to concentrate and/or spend the time on money making schemes AND homeschooling.  Now that ds is older, he's ready for more in the way of classes that cost $, as well. 

[kathymuggle]

Originally Posted by Mizelenius 

My #1 concern is finding more friends for my girls that they can see on a regular basis in an unstructured way.

No real luck!  I could easily get them into tons of structured activities, but have found that while they make friends quickly there, the friendships do not translate to beyond the activities themselves. 

We will be joining a co-op this fall but it is far.  All of the local ones are very heavily fundamentalist Christian-based, and we do not fit in there. 

This.

I have found it hit and miss and varies from year to year. 

I would also add that knowing when to push and when to take a wait and see approach  around academic and lifestyle issues has been difficult for me to determine

[grethel]

Social opportunities and keeping up friendships are our biggest concern too -- not just my concern, but hers as well. We've found a few small groups, but teen hs'ers are pretty thin on the ground here.

[SundayCrepes]

Money.

[Mizelenius]

RE: the friends issue-- one thing I want to know (and should probably ask in the school forum), is-- do children who do go to school have a core of good friends?  From everything that I have heard from children (at various schools), working as a teacher myself, and being a child myself who did not go to a neighborhood school (magnet), it seems that:

• Children do not get to interact that much during the day at school other than maybe recess (here that would be 20 min. out of an almost 7 hour day)
• Children are busy after school with adult-directed activities and/or by themselves
• Neighborhood (very close) children are always easiest-- proximity counts for a lot (my parents very rarely set up times to see friends-- we counted on the neighborhood kids, so when the close ones moved, we were out of luck)
• Children tend to watch TV/play video games when hanging out with others so even during times together, they are not "together" (I never allow tech. to be used when they have friends over, but this does happen when they go to other people's homes, much to their dismay.)

One of the things I am going to ATTEMPT is to start a small bookclub, open to any girl (not just hs'd) within a certain age group.  I am going to look at it as a way to bond and talk vs. anything academic.  Just have to see if people are not too busy for it.

RE: money- I hear you.  The classes add up very quickly, and they are (for me) one of the main ways that I can sort of count on the same group of kids to be there, AND they are part of the reason that I think hsing is worthwhile . . .though my friends with kids in PS say that the classes thing is optional no matter what-- you'd pay for some anyway even if they were in school if you do classes generally.  I have a pt job working from home that helps, but it will probably all go to classes (and I do not make that much!).  The only way I am sort of "justifying" hsing from the financial perspective is that we have a few very young children, and daycare would be very expensive.  When they are all of school age .  . .there goes my excuse.

RE: personality clashes, do you think this has to do with the ages of your children?  They are still pretty young-- I am guessing this will get better, esp. since you are us'ing.  I think the main thing is that you are around each other (I am guessing-- we are, anyway) ALL THE TIME.  It is hard to be patient 100% of the time when you are their everything, esp. when they are young.  Extremely demanding!  There is a preK teacher who is just an amazing person-- I want to be her. If all teachers were like her, my kids would be in school!  She has a way with children that is really fascinating.  She has 5 boys of her own, and claims that she was not this way with them.  Maybe it is just a matter of having more support?

[HeatherB]

I think motivation is also my biggest concern. It would probably help if I were a generally more time-centered, organized person... I *like* that, but I can't make myself do it. So we are eclectic/unschoolers, but I really, really like sitting down with them and working on things together. We all benefit from it, but creating structure, habits, and finding motivation for it all long-term is a challenge.

[4evermom]

Originally Posted by Mizelenius 

RE: the friends issue-- one thing I want to know (and should probably ask in the school forum), is-- do children who do go to school have a core of good friends?  From everything that I have heard from children (at various schools), working as a teacher myself, and being a child myself who did not go to a neighborhood school (magnet), it seems that:

• Children do not get to interact that much during the day at school other than maybe recess (here that would be 20 min. out of an almost 7 hour day)
• Children are busy after school with adult-directed activities and/or by themselves
• Neighborhood (very close) children are always easiest-- proximity counts for a lot (my parents very rarely set up times to see friends-- we counted on the neighborhood kids, so when the close ones moved, we were out of luck)
• Children tend to watch TV/play video games when hanging out with others so even during times together, they are not "together" (I never allow tech. to be used when they have friends over, but this does happen when they go to other people's homes, much to their dismay.)

Yeah, I don't think school would solve the friends issue at all for my ds.  He'd hang with the crowd and get along.  And that fills some need with younger kids but true friends are harder to come by.  And ones with parents willing to facilitate friendships by shuttling them around are even rarer.  I noticed when I was in school how much proximity counted for casual friendships.  I was friends with whoever lived near me or whoever was in my class but we didn't stay in touch when something changed.  It wasn't true friendship, it was being friendly.  And ds is friendly with the kids who come to parkday but he is still missing having a true friend or two.  There might be a larger pool of kids in school or he might meet ones that actually live within walking distance if he went to school but it wouldn't be a magic cure.  It wouldn't be as adult dependent as it is with homeschooling, though.

[mattemma04]

I am not currently homeschooling,but when we return to it my biggest concern would be my kids telling me that they regret homeschooling. My ds(at 9) is already telling me he wants to try high school.I suppose I will let him,but it will be a hard thing for me to do.

On the friend issue  I have to say that I have been very disappointed with the *friendships* the kids have had at public school and Montessori.It has been years now,and we have only had 1 child come over one time.One asked me to ask his mom,but she said no.No one ever calls over breaks.If we left the school we would probably never hear from anyone again.Disappointing.Classes did not result in frienships either.We just keep plugging along,but I just wanted to put it out there that going to school does not always result in BFFs.All I ever heard from family was," The kids need to be with other kids all day.' It was pushed more than acedemic concerns!

[leighi123]

Being a single parent.   

For now, I live with family so I only work very part time and ds can go with me to work.   But in the future, I'm hoping to get my own house, which will mean a full time job and that means I might not be able to homeschool long term.   

[PGTlatte]

Academic skills and progress.  I am dealing with LD issues and two very strong willed, very active kids.  It is really hard work to keep DS1 progressing.  Now I am also working on getting DS2 going with the 3Rs; but the two of them just want to make chaos all day.