What bedding do you remove when cosleeping with a newborn?

[escher]

I know that some people (for example Elizabeth Pantley in The No-Cry Sleep Solution) believe that you should remove all pillows and blankets from your bed if sharing your bed with a newborn. Do you do this? If so, how do you get comfortable to sleep? If not, what do you remove and what do you keep?

I'm just trying to imagine going through winter with no blankets and no pillows and I was hoping to hear more about how that works or doesn't work for other parents.

Thank you!

[ursusarctos]

Interested to read the responses... I was thinking I'd probably just bundle up in sweats to sleep in the wintertime.

[themomadance]

My friend had a co-sleeper when her son was born, She kept all of her regular bedding on her bed, and he was right next to her at mattress hight on a newborn safe mattress with standard swaddling to keep him warm... She got the smaller size co-sleeper and he outgrew it pretty quickly, and recommended the larger one if I get one.  I haven't purchased one yet, I may just wait and see how the crib goes on the other side of the room, but I am very tempted.  I just have so many other things I need first and need to see how much it all costs!  

[McGucks]

Our solution...and it worked beautifully for us...was to put our newborn infant on a firm changing mat with raised sides (it was from Target) while he was in the bed with us.  It kept him well above where my blankets would've been (it had raised sides, maybe 4-5 inches or so).  I was able to have him close to pull him off of it and nurse, then placed him right back on the pad.  This only worked until he could roll over, but it was great til then.

[fruitfulmomma]

We've been bedsharing for over 11 years now and have never removed the blankets or pillows. I keep the pillows under my head and the blankets under my arms. Most often we sleep in the spoon position so that I am holding the blankets down around the baby's waist, with their head near my chest.

I would *never* have bedshared if I couldn't keep my pillows and blankets. I can't sleep that way and the whole reason I bedshare is so that I get enough sleep.

[AnkaJones]

Hi,

We're following Dr. McKenna's book (Sleeping with Your Baby: A Parent's Guide to Cosleeping), which is significantly more moderate than The No-Cry Sleep Solution.  Basically, he recommends a firm mattress with no pillow top type thing over it, and light blankets (No duvet or comforters), and a single pillow for the co-sleeping/bedsharing parent.  I'm using a sheet and a single pillow, and sleep on my side in the 'protective position', which is really quite natural.  My arm is above the baby (so seperates my pillow, which isn't migrating because it's under my head, from the baby), and the sheet is low around my waist.  I dress to make the ambient temperature comfortable, then dress my baby similarly.

I like McKenna's approach because he's very moderate.  His starting point seems to be that almost all parents co-sleep sometimes, and it is important to do it safely, while recognizing that if you make it too prohibitive, people will do it by accident in the wrong place -- the parent whose baby "always sleeps in the crib in the nursery down the hall" might wind up co-sleeping in a recliner, which is quite dangerous, because they fell asleep while nursing.

Best,

Anka

[lkvosu]

Originally Posted by fruitfulmomma 

We've been bedsharing for over 11 years now and have never removed the blankets or pillows. I keep the pillows under my head and the blankets under my arms. Most often we sleep in the spoon position so that I am holding the blankets down around the baby's waist, with their head near my chest.

I would *never* have bedshared if I couldn't keep my pillows and blankets. I can't sleep that way and the whole reason I bedshare is so that I get enough sleep.

This is what we did. Also, I used a small pillow instead of my regular big fluffy one. I also wore a sweatshirt with a slit cut across the chest for easy nursing and to stay warm since I kept the blanket down low. After the newborn phase and he could roll over and such, I was not at all particular. We still cosleep and I use my normal pillow and blankets now. He's 9 months.

It really is amazing how aware you are of them even during sleep. I bet you'll know what feels right and safe when the time comes.
 

[insidevoice]

Pillows stay for us, and a single comforter stays (lightweight) the top sheet however is removed (my one cosleeping scare involved the sheet.) The baby is positioned safely within the bed and usually I move the comforter sideways so it only covers to where I am, not to the side the baby is on.  I dress the baby in a one-piece footed sleeper or a gown depending on age and what is clean.  Only one of my babies has tolerated swaddling, but if yours do, that makes it all SOOOO much easier. 

I don't follow 'the rules' exactly, but I do use a good deal of common sense.  My one big deviation is that I am much more comfortable with a baby near a comforter than a sheet (DS managed to grab my sheet and wrap it over his neck.  I woke up JUST in time- the sheet left that day.  It means I have to wash my duvet cover a lot more often, but I am fine with that. 

[Peony]

Everything stays. I do switch to a smaller pillow rather then my large one with a young baby and then when they are a little older, I switch back. I don't pull my covers up as much as I would either when they are smaller. 

[SilverFish]

we didn't change much. we usually have two pillows per person and a duvet with a duvet cover. we got rid of the second pillow altogether, and didn't worry about anything else. the duvet is a lightweight, cotton poly fill, so breathable, and the pillows are on the smaller, flatter side anyway. we felt totally safe. in the very early days, you are on hyper alert whether or not they're in bed with you, and by the time you relax a bit, they can move their heads and roll around a little anyway. 

[southernmommie]

Originally Posted by fruitfulmomma 

We've been bedsharing for over 11 years now and have never removed the blankets or pillows. I keep the pillows under my head and the blankets under my arms. Most often we sleep in the spoon position so that I am holding the blankets down around the baby's waist, with their head near my chest.

I would *never* have bedshared if I couldn't keep my pillows and blankets. I can't sleep that way and the whole reason I bedshare is so that I get enough sleep.

9 years here and we've done the same thing! It's amazing how God gave us moms the ability to instinctively respond to our babies. This is what has worked for us.

[mediocrewitch]

A Friend gave us one of those little co-sleeper things to put in bed with us and we used that at first when he was tiny, but it gave us very little room on either side, and having to lift him out and put him back when nursing was a pain in the butt- he'd wake up every time I tried to put him back down. I had yet to learn how to nurse while lying down, too. Once I got comfortable with that--it was just so much more natural to curl my body around him and nurse him with us both on our sides & we'd both sleep better. So, we only used the co-sleeper for the first 2 or 3 weeks, and it was outta there! I am glad we had it to start with, though, just because it made me less nervous when he was so small til we got into our groove.

We have a very firm mattress (for my man's back- I used to have padding to make my side comfy for me, but I took that out when we had the baby) and we still have regular pillows ,sheets, blanket & comforter. He's at my breast level so the pillow isn't by his face, and he's such a little heat generator that I usually only have the sheet over us just up to his waist. Also, I bought some foam bumpers that tuck under the fitted sheet that are on the outside edge of the bed so I can have him on either side of me for nursing. I like to turn over & switch sides each time he wakes to eat- I can use either breast while on one side, but it's not very comfortable to use the upper one!

[curiouslysane]

I think they've been recalled, but when our baby was an infant propped her in a' snuggle nest' between our heads. We didn't alter anything about our own pillows/sheets/duvet...but we did put her higher in the bed. That is to say we scooted our pillows down a tad so that if the comforter was at our shoulders, it was only at her waist. When she outgrew the snuggle nest, we ceased making any alterations to our bed...she just nestled against me, and we slept great that way.

[Emalin]

I also use a small pillow and pull a light blanket just to waist level. All three of us have our own blankets so baby, who stays at chest level between us doesn't get covered. When it was cold, I used a space heater to keep the room extra warm. My husband travels for work quite a bit. When the baby and I are alone, I use a "Trestria" natural latex bumper that fits under the fitted sheet to block the open side of the bed. I love it and would recommend it to any single co-sleepers or couples who want to sleep next to each other with the baby next to mom (would need a king bed though...very crowded with a queen). Baby has started rolling over now, so it gives me peace of mind for naps too. Not sure how I'll modify when she starts crawling.

[Ma Cactus]

We sleep with blankets and pillow(s).  I found that since I was worried about the blankets and pillows when awake, I kept worrying about them when asleep, and if the blanket got too high, I would wake up.  Instantly. 

My best breastfeeding tops were short sleeved (and I was too cheap to buy any), so I also wore 'arm cozies' recycled from an old shirt in the winter so that I could sleep comfortably with my arms outside the blankets, which helps keep me in control of the position of the blanket without having to think about it. 

[AnkaJones]

I love your arm cozy idea, Ma Cactus!  I'm already eyeing an old shirt.

[greenmulberry]

I have one pillow under my head, and a light blanket.

Sometimes I have another pillow for between my knees.

[flyrabbitfly]

Originally Posted by Ma Cactus 

We sleep with blankets and pillow(s).  I found that since I was worried about the blankets and pillows when awake, I kept worrying about them when asleep, and if the blanket got too high, I would wake up.  Instantly. 

My best breastfeeding tops were short sleeved (and I was too cheap to buy any), so I also wore 'arm cozies' recycled from an old shirt in the winter so that I could sleep comfortably with my arms outside the blankets, which helps keep me in control of the position of the blanket without having to think about it. 

Ma Cactus! You are so crazy with your arm cozies! Ha ha! ( no worries, readers: Ma Cactus is my twinnie, so I can laugh at her:))
We got rid of the top sheet and just use a lightweight down comforter with a duvet. DH wears long sleeves because the blanket is always at waist level. He has a normal pillow, and I use a dog-bone pillow (great for low back support for the reluctant side-sleeper as well! I have 2) We were super nervous with him in bed as a newborn and now I wish we had relaxed more! I finally read the cosleeping chapter in the Dr Sears sleep book and that helped.
Good luck, relax and enjoy

[wondertwins]

I thought for sure I would read our solution, but maybe it's not as practical or common as I'd thought! We sleep on a memory foam mattress, with baby in between us, where the "snuggle nest" is situated, and DH and I sleep with separate covers. Our twins slept one on each side of me, for ease of nursing and it just made sense for DH and I to have our own blankets (his is a sleeping bag). We actually like the set up, we can do our own temp control. The baby sleeps next to me, usually with his head on my arm, and sometimes in the snuggle nest. The control freak in me likes the barrier of the nest, protecting baby from his rolling daddy and twin siblings! We also kept our pillows with all three children and at 10 months, the baby sometimes sleeps on his back on my pillow, with my arm supporting his back making sure he doesn't roll. 

Also, it's amazing to me how my sleep has changed after becoming a mother. As other mama's have posted, you instincts really kick in when co-sleeping. Before children I tossed and turned and was a really deep sleeper. These days I sleep very still, and wake up to the slightest noise.

[APToddlerMama]

I am significantly more paranoid about co-sleeping than most and also my son seemed bound and determined to try to suffocate himself.  After waking up with him with a thick blanket covering his face...twice...we tucked the blanket into the bottom of the bed so it only went up around our waists and then put a sweatshirt on to keep warm on top.  Then I used a small and firm pillow and kept that fairly far from his face. He slept between me and the wall and DH slept on the other side of me.  Even now at three, he tries to bury his head in pillows and it drives me nuts!