Terrible Two's? or Three's?

[Greenlea]

I think I need a support group LOL.  But no, seriously - my 29 mth old is driving me insane.  He doesn't listen, ever.  I'm afraid to go on walks or out with him by myself because he runs away from me in parking lots.  He's constantly beatin up on his 9 mth old brother.  He throws toys, he won't sit down and eat dinner, etc.  I know this is typical toddler behavior but part of me doesn't know if I'm doing something wrong or if he's normal.

Like, is he being this way because I'm not disciplining him right?  I do time outs the Super Nanny way, and yes I do spank sometimes.  I have tried reasoning with him, distracting him, re-direction, time outs, I yell :(, nothing works.  I tell him to stop doing something and he looks right at me and keeps doing it.  I can't leave him alone with his young brother cuz he body slams him, rolls on him, pushes him down, hits, bites, you name it.  I know we have a jealousy issue going on too.

Please someone just tell me my kid is just a normal toddler.  How did / do you deal with the "Terrible 2s"?

[CI Mama]

My DD will be 3 in October, so we're in the throes of toddler madness. It is definitely challenging to parent a child who has energy, opinions, personality, desires, and no common sense or regard for adult agendas!

I use a variety of approaches with DD. We don't do time-outs or spanking. I try not to yell, but I'm not perfect, so it does happen sometimes. When it does, it never makes things better. She usually cries & then I apologize for yelling.

We do lots of redirecting/distracting & forced choices (i.e. Do you want to walk to the bathroom by yourself or have Mama carry you?). In terms of the running away, that's a tricky one. If I chase DD, she thinks it's a game and just runs faster. And I can't keep up with her at all (old mama). But if I stop and turn my back to her, she'll usually come back to me. I don't use that strategy in parking lots or when crossing streets (I just hold on to her as tightly as I can and keep moving) but it mostly works if she's running down the sidewalk.

I also think that getting breaks from your toddler is important. My DP and I do a lot of "tag-teaming" so that we get breaks. I also work full-time and DP is in pre-school, which I believe has had a good influence on her behavior.

Hang in there, mama. Good for you for asking for support. I hope lots of people respond with good suggestions for you.

[Skippy918]

It's normal.  We do time outs with DS for unacceptable behavior like hitting or throwing toys.   He'll be 3 next month and he's gotten a lot better.  Fewer tantrums and no time outs recently.  It's coincided a lot with him verbally communicating more effectively and expressing his feelings verbally.  He'll still throw a fit when he doesn't get what he wants, but they don't last nearly as long as a few months back. 

I find that offering choices works really well.  For example when it's bedtime, I tell him if you go to bed now, you get 2 books, if you want to play another 5 more minutes, you get 1 book.