I need to get this off my chest, as I feel a mixture of mama guilt and irritation.
I am going through many life changes right now. My fiance and I split end of May (we were together 9 years), I am looking for housing for ds and I, and starting a business as well! So the money is coming in but not quite flowing yet.
I am looking to buy because the mortgage would be significantly lower than rents in the area. It requires a chunk upfront though of course and I'm not seeing where that is..
Long story short, all this mixed with major sleep issues and I am IRRITABLE! This morning ds was crying, crying, crying cause he was tired and woke too early and I snapped and yelled at him. It's not the first time. Ah! Then I feel bad about snapping, see how he gets more clingy with me and just feel even worse. Then I get him down for a nap and he sleeps 1/2 hour :( he'll usually go at least 1.5 hours. So then I am more irritated.
He is with his nana now so I can work. He didn't really want to leave me it seemed. (they are in the house and we visit/nurse throughout the day so it's not like I'm away for 6 hours straight).
I don't want to be an impatient angry mother. I want to let the love through and be kind, patient, happy.
Looking for support, experience, strength, hope....:)
I wanted to add that I am doing alot to help myself. Going to therapy, meditation, some yoga/exercise, generally eating well, prayer, talking with friends, doing alot of work on my self esteem/patterns/beliefs, herbs and homeopathy, most of this is intertwined into the day. The only thing missing is SLEEP!