high needs baby, sleeping and childcare

[akmbloom]

My 5 1/2 month old is, I think, what you might call a high needs baby. She wants to be held by me almost constantly - and if I'm not holding her, someone better be playing with her or showing her a toy or doing something she finds stimulating, or the hollering will start. She actually doesn't cry that frequently, but hollers in an agitated-sounding way quite frequently. I work part-time out of the home and telecommute part-time, and while I do my husband watches her - but it's hard for him, the hollering really stresses him out, especially because the only thing that really seems to help is ME. I have come home from work early to soothe her at least one day out of every week I've been back at work - thank goodness my employers are flexible, but it's getting ridiculous. I can't finish a thought, a shower, dinner, anything without the hollering... she doesn't much like the ergo, or the sling, will tolerate the stroller for only a little while.

She also has a lot of trouble napping. At night we co-sleep, and she sleeps really well, though it usually takes quite a long time to get her to sleep (nursing rocking bouncing). Naptimes - she won't sleep at all if it's just my husband and very little if it's a babysitter (only my sister and mom have watched her so far) - and with me, she rarely naps for more than 20-30 minutes at a time. She seems overtired a lot of the rest of the day.

I am so frustrated, and both my husband and I sometimes find ourselves speaking sharply to her and our (noisily exuberant) older daughter. I have a headache all the time fromt he noise and the carrying.... But she's a smart and delightful baby so much of the rest of the time. Help! I need ideas!

[akmbloom]

I forgot to talk about the childcare part in the original post, because the yelling was intensifying.... anyway I wonder if anyone who's had similar experiences with a high-needs baby finds that they're able to handle childcare? i thought maybe it would even make things better because we'd get more of a break as parents, and baby might eventually realize that she can survive without me holding her? Or is that wishful thinking? it might be a necessity in any case... i need more time to finish my schoolwork in the fall, i think.

[bella99]

I just wanted to say that neither of my girls napped well during the day until they were at least 6 months old.  Before that, it was 30-45 minutes a couple of times a day unless they were being held, and boy, were they tired.

My younger one is just about 6.5 months old, and she will play happily for about 20 minutes by herself right now, while everyone is doing other things around her, but no longer and then she hollars and screeches so someone will sit or lay down wherever she is playing.  She is also higher needs than my first, and prefers me to everyone else, and when I come home from work, she screeches at me until I have picked her up.