2 yo won't go to sleep at night in family bed after nursing

[carolb4]

My daughter has started staying awake until 10 pm.  We have a consistent routine at night including no TV at least an hour before 8:30 bed time.  My daughter sleeps with my husband and I.  We read stories in bed, etc.  Then lights out in our dark bedroom.  She nurses the usual length of time then sits up and says "MA UP".  She and I have to get up and leave the bed because my husband has to go to work in the morning.   We go into her bedroom.  I lie down and she quietly plays for at least an hour then begins asking to go to my bed.  Then she goes to sleep.  Help!!!  What's up?  Suggestions for getting her to go to sleep at bedtime. 

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

No help here.  I have a similar issue.  DD will not sleep after our normal sleep routine.  She now requires extra walking and at least two rounds of nursing in bed before she will sleep. I don't know why, but it's driving me crazy because I am exhausted and cannot spare an extra 90 minutes to get DD to sleep.  She is 15 months and wasn't a great sleeper before, but these last two weeks have started to resemble hell. 

[rivkah]

If you are ready to go to bed at that time, I'd stop responding to her. Tell her that it is time for everyone to go to bed (Dad, Mom, and her).  Rub her back, or pat her bottom, or something soothing, but don't get her up and let her play longer. It may take a couple of nights and it may involve some whining, screaming (but keep in mind, this is not the same as CIO type crying--this is not distressed, lonely crying; this is I-want-my-way crying). 

Also, don't worry so much about husband's sleep. I am a full-time working mom, and I unless you husband has to be up at 5 am to to do brain surgery, he can deal with being tired for a  couple of days so that you all can get into a better routine.

[katylin]

I am no wiz at this; but if I allow my son to take a nap past 5 p.m. we are up later than 11:30 p.m.

We also have a family sleep arrangement. My husband must get to sleep as he runs on less than 5 hours five days a week.

My 17 month old son and I sleep until 10:00 a.m. and even though we get up late, I still put him down for a nap at 12:30 or 1:00 p.m. It seems very early in an over view. But then he sleeps from 1:00 or a bad day 2:00 until before 4:00. I nurse him and leave for work, and when I arrive home at 11:00 we have a 15 minute dinner, brush teeth, and head straight to bed.  If the nap time is later than 7 hours before the next sleep on the end of the day, there is no getting him down. So then we just both pretend that we are asleep, and put up with the head butts and the poking. We turn the lights out, and within a half hour he caves; and lies down. Sometimes he turns for an hour from left to right and then tries to nurse again, but I am long empty. I feel for him because he is being obedient; but just is not tired. So I encourage good restful downtime. I know if I read to myself in bed, or use my phone to read or text, or we act even a little awake he mirrors us as well.

He does have a play pin at the foot of the bed. On days that he has been allowed to sleep past 5:00 p.m. I ask him if he wants to play in his “jail”. I put him inside, (in the dark in his pj) and he will sit there assured of his own autonomy for no more than a half hour, and then wants to join us back in bed, even at the cost of having to “stay laying down”.
I have empathy for you. I think that bad habits are slid into gradually. I would encourage a lavender bath, with two drops of essential organic lavender oil in the bath an hour before you want her out, and maybe even a free free free lotion with a few drops of lavender. There are brands that advertise that they are fragrance, phthalate, chemical free, and paraben free lotion. Pharamaca is where we purchased our last bottle. This routine can be fun, and it is funny to see how even a very young child will happy enjoy putting lotion on their tummy and having their bodies massaged.
Sweet dreams. Good Luck.