One child "Schooled" the other formerly "Homes-Schooled, becoming "Un-schooled" this new year!...

[MOMMMYTO3]

 My oldest, a 12 yr old girl, chose school (a local Charter School).  She will always choose school. But her personal passions an interests are always our main focus in her life.  We facilitate them as best we can.  She knows that her academic standing has nothing to do with our view of her success in life.  We teach Character first in our home.  Respect for others, honesty and constant communication.  She is a Schooled 4.0 student by choice.  Driven naturally to succeed!

My second, a 9yr old boy is the one who chose to stay home.  We were happy to oblige!  He is home-body by nature.  Even a bit of a mommas boy .  But still, even with home-school curriculum and getting "straight A's" during his home-school experience, I noticed this lack of interest in his studies.  He wasn't sparked unless we were doing a hands on science experiment or an out door activity.  I see a bit of myself in him at that age.

I was a total "failure" in the traditional school setting, and a perfect candidate for Un-schooling.  The only problem is, I was extremely bright and have an almost un-quenching passion to learn, just not at a desk in a classroom.  Especially those elementary years.  My poor parents, what they must have expected me to turn out like!  Certainly not the "teacher" I have become to my own children.  There was something about my epic grades failure in school that prompted my mother to keep every progress report and major report card I EVER received.  I felt the same way reading them as an adult as I did receiving them as a child, Sick!  Not that my mother only reflected on the bad, not at all, she also kept every single one of my achievement awards no matter how major or minor they were.  But the point I'm making is how these letters, A B C D and especially F, affect me to this day! 

On this new radical journey I'm about to take with my son, my first order of business will be to un-school myself by trashing every one of those report cards.  They do not, and never will define my worth in this world.  How silly I was to allow it to, even as a woman in my 30's.  

It's amazing how much you learn about yourself through your children.  I am so blessed for the revelations they bring to light daily.   

Now onto the reason started that thread.  Everything I mentioned before leading me to my question.  What other families have given their children the choice, and have or have had "Schooled" as well as "Un-schooled children"?  I would love tips and advise.  I'm new to this journey, and although the un-schooling philosophy has been a part of my natural parenting style, it now has a name! 

                                                                    

[MOMMMYTO3]

No one has Unschooled and brick and mortar children at home? 

Edited by MOMMMYTO3 - 7/29/11 at 7:23pm

[4evermom]

My sister does...  The kids all started out unschooling but her second went to school last year for 3rd grade.  This year, she may or may not go back and the third child is planning on going to 1st grade.  The first is going to stay with unschooling.

I think it is harder to move from structured homeschool or school to unschooling than vice versa.  When a kid has been in a structured learning system, they frequently associate certain things as being like school and therefore to be avoided.  I had one previously schooled kid declare to me that he doesn't do math when I called a specific size lego brick a 2 by 4, lol.  I guess someone explained unschooling to him as not having to do what he didn't want to do.  Anyway, I'm hoping you aren't expecting that unschooling will be a magic solution for your ds "lacking interest" and not "being sparked" except when doing hands on science projects.  I mean that gently, not being sure where you are coming from or what your expectations are...  It will give him more time and opportunity to do those things that he finds interesting.  And theoretically other things will become of interest through that focus.  For instance, my ds has no interest in writing (handwriting or typing) but he is picking up typing because he wants to communicate online in in game chats.  Playing Starcraft is making him want to type.

[kathymuggle]

I do.

Any specific questions?

My middle went to school last year - and my oldest will probably go this year (leaving just the 8 yr old at home).

I guess the biggest issue (for both good and bad, but mostly good) is that she wasn't quite as compliant as the school would have liked.  She had little patience for out and out busy work and adults who treated students poorly - and she dug in her heels on both issues.  

She learned a lot last year - and with the exception of French (she was in immersion) none of it was academic.

Interesting viewpoint on the report cards.  I have not quite figured out how I feel about grades.  I do no think I would trash them, but I would not be a slave to them either.  The reality is if you go to a brick and mortar school in high school  and if you want to go to College and University marks do count - so teens should learn the skills needed to get good marks on report cards.  

[moominmamma]

I have the entire gamut. My 17-year-old goes to school very part-time (on average a couple of days a week at most) and has for the past 3 years, but most of her challenging and meaningful learning is outside of school (travel, music and creative writing, eg.). My 14yo ds is thinking of going to school for a single History course this year and continuing totally unschooled otherwise. My 12yo has been completely unschooled but is heading off to full-time 8th grade this fall. My 8yo is unschooled. 

We've had a few years of juggling home and school, but this fall will be the first time I'll have a kid who has sort of 'bought into' the whole full-time experience, so it will be a bit of an adjustment for me too. Although my eldest will graduate with a full diploma at the top of her (incredibly small) class, she has not put any importance on grades, for which I'm grateful. I come at it from the opposite perspective as you but reached essentially the same conclusion. I always did very well in school, but suffered from a bit of an "imposter syndrome," feeling like I didn't really deserve the grades I got and was a bit of a fraud for earning them, since I seemed to have a gift for testing well and learning easily and didn't have to do any much work to earn all those accolades. Yet I was still hung up on scoring well and for a time I thought the whole point of education was to do so. Rather than, um, to learn. I'm thrilled that my elder dd puts almost no stock in her grades.

Miranda

[MOMMMYTO3]

Thank you all for your response! 

I guess there are no specific questions I have but more wanting to hear your story!  If anything I am worried about how he will enter back into the school system (as far as paperwork and legality are concerned, not his personal experience) if he chooses to do so in the future.  And how this will affect college entrance.

4evermom~ Not a magical solution to my son's lack of interest, but an an opportunity for him to learn on his own terms.  He loathes reading and writing, so the "busy work" though the concepts were easy for him, is still a struggle just to get done!  I always felt so much pressure to "get it done!"  I hate that feeling!  I even went as far as to call his Kindergarten teacher years ago and inform her that we would not be completing any of the "homework" packets.  It was the same thing then, a struggle to get him to do the work, so were were all fighting or crying every night, worrying about this time frame in which we had to complete everything.  I was not going to let it determine the mood in my home every evening!

Kathymuggle~ I was considering trashing MY report cards!  My children have far more impressive grades so far, and I want them to be proud of them.  Ultimately they can choose what to do with them in the future.  PS: I couldn't help but giggle to think of your little one "digging her heels in" on those issues!  Kudos for her!

moominmamma~ You have encouraged me, seeing the age and interests of your children.

All in all, I think the hardest part of this journey will be to US myself.  To let go of the traditional mindset that learning has to happen a certain way, and just let it blossom.