Postpartum blues...

[Zory]

Hello!! Everyone...Here I am after two months of my third daughter birth having so much anger, and feeling alone -sometimes. My oldest is 2 in half, then SF which just turn 18 months and the newborn 2 months...I choose to stay at home when AM(the oldest) was born. Since then i been having babies...not much planned, but receive and loved. MY DAUGHTERS BIRTH were all homebirth and peaceful and joyful experience. Since the birth of the newborn , actually a few months before my husband and I heve been very distance. I try to communicate but not much have work...I do not feel his love and attention to me..sometimes when we disagree on something he tends to avoid me by just playing all the time with the girls.
I started therapy, but do not see his interest. Sometimes I feel like I live alone. All this feelings affect my two oldest, and I am dealing with tremendus children. The 2 year old and the 1 always heating wach other...I am so tired of doing everything.

I am using OLIVE Flower essence, and taking B complex, Shatavari and an ayurvedic stress complex...Any support or information to work with letting go of anger, learning to let your child unfold ...and so on...
Blessings,

[SpiralChrissy]

Sorry you're having such a hard time right now. I think it's great that you've started therapy. I hope that's helpful. It's been really helpful for me. Even if your husband isn't interested in therapy, you're marriage can still be improved thru the therapy. You'll be changing as a result of what you uncover, and that will cause him to do somethings differently in reaction to you. I think it's a good thing.
I'd recommend you try Fish Oil tablets. They have those Omega-3 fatty acids. I take 4 a day and I do think it helps.
As far as releasing the anger, I say exercise, exercise, exercise. It's a great way to blow off steam.
Hang in there and keep writing!
Chrissy

[layla]

(((hugs))) to you. It sounds like you're having a tough time right now. Maybe you could ask your husband to come to therapy with you, even only a couple of times. The supplements you are taking sound good, I'd add the fish oil also. Try Nordic Naturals on line, they are "clean" oils-without mercury or pollutants. I'm waiting for my shipment to arrive. They are a little expensive but worth it. Good luck to you and keep us posted.

[EllasMama]

Zory, {{{hugs}}} to you, sorry you're having a hard time. I tried many natural approaches for PPD but it was too deep, so I started taking an antidepressant last year. Now that I have that support for my brain, the single best thing for alleviating my feelings of anger etc. is to get enough sleep. Exercise and a good diet are all well and good if I can do them, but SLEEP is my personal trigger. I'm going to go out on a limb here, LOL, and guess you don't get much sleep. Try to find some way to rest, relax, sleep more, and I bet you'll feel the anger go down a notch. Even if it's only one day a week that I can negotiate with my husband to allow me to sleep in an extra hour, it can have a tremendous effect. (It is so important to my mental and physical health that I finally quit "asking" and started "announcing" to my husband when I am going to take measures to get more sleep and rest.) Of course your "trigger" could be something else, but sleep is a biggie for me.

Kids definitely tend to put distance in a marriage. My husband and I had drifted apart and mostly just bickered or ignored each other by the time our daughter was 2.5 (and we only have 1 child). We started marriage counseling and it's definitely helping. I really recommend finding a good marriage counselor before it's too late and you don't really care anymore.

Another thing that has helped is that AFTER counseling we go out for dessert or dinner or coffee and spend an hour with each other. My daughter never went to bed early enough for DH and I to get time together before 10 p.m. and by then we are both worn out. I'm sure with your 3 you don't get much time alone either. It has really, really helped to have the counseling followed by those "dates" with my husband. I know you have a tiny baby right now, but I highly recommend trying to get some time alone when the baby is old enough. Maybe for now you could go out with your husband and only the baby, leaving the 2 older ones with a sitter/grandparents/friend. It doesn't have to be anything big, just a walk in the park takes you away from your usual routine and helps open up some opportunities for communication. It takes some time. At first I didn't want to make much effort toward my husband, but we both forced ourselves to make little efforts, and it got easier over time. After about 8 months of counseling and dates every couple of weeks, we now get along a LOT better.

Best of luck to you. Sounds like you're on the right path, looking for more options you can try.

Peace,
Carol