oh mama, i am happy to hear from you- i've thought of you so much. what a beautiful name to give your son. i am glad you got to go home so soon afterward.
i am so very sorry for everything you are going through right now. give yourself lots of time, and permission to feel whatever it is you are feeling. grieving is never a linear process.
i send you my love and lots of hope for healing and peace, when the time is right.